Tomorrow is my appointment with my OBGYN. If we hadn't have had the hiccup in the road last week then it would have been our first check-up for the baby. Part of me feels glad that the scare happened because as a result of that we've already seen the baby's heartbeat and had our first ultrasound. On the other hand, however, the spotting that I had has made me feel kind of neurotic about things. I obsess over my symptoms... If I'm cramping (or not cramping), if I'm not throwing up as much as I think I should be, if I have other distinct pregnancy symptoms, etc... I seriously over-analyze everything because I'm so anxious about losing this baby. I hate it because I know this is wrong!
I would like to say that tomorrow will "fix" all of my worrying problems and that I'll instantaneously have every little worry stripped away from me, but I'm pretty sure that I'll come up with new worries. I hate how I do this to myself. The Bible says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in all things prayers and petitions." If I trust the Bible and believe it to be absolute truth (which I definitely do!), then why am I continually plagued with worry? I'll admit, pregnancy is a very scary thing at first because there are so many unknowns, but that does NOT mean that God can't handle it. Gosh, Jillian, let itgo! I'm working on that...
I'm thankful that my appointment is at 9 tomorrow so I'll have it out of the way first thing in the morning. That will leave me less time to stew over the possibilities of what could be wrong. My mind likes to wander away from me while waiting! Please be praying for me tomorrow. I'll update as soon as I possibly can!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I Love My Husband:-)
I just want to take a minute and brag on my wonderful husband. A girl can do that from time to time, right?? Anyways, this is why I am extra appreciative of him today...
This afternoon we were really busy running errands and Brooke fell asleep on the way home... NOT GOOD. I was feeling very sleepy and looking forward to my nap, but I knew that she would wake up as soon as we got home. This is a new phase that she's been going through lately and it's VERY frustrating. Anyways, just as I predicted, she wouldn't go back to sleep and I was so extremely spent so John sent me to bed. Hey, I wasn't going to argue with him! I reluctantly went upstairs (feeling kind of guilty) and I told him to wake me after a half an hour, but of course he didn't listen. I woke up 2 hours later from the most restful, amazing nap that I've had in a long time. It was heaven sent!!
That was incredibly sweet of John and all, but what really made me smile was the amount of fun he and Brookie were having when I woke up. I swear to you... Every single toy that we own (and we have A LOT!) was either on or in use. I don't think I've ever heard so many toys going off at the same time:-) On top of that, the two of them were reading books, wrestling, and laughing hysterically. They enjoy each other when I'm awake too, but sometimes it's nice for them to have a couple of hours of one-on-one time with one another. It was a priceless scene that put a huge smile on my face!
When I tried to join in on all of the action Brooke was NOT having it. It was clear that she and daddy were having far too much fun and I was crashing the party. For the rest of the afternoon she was glued to John's hip and he had to do everything for her. I hate to admit it, but she really is a daddy's girl. I've pretty much known that since the first few hours of her life.
John was so happy that I got a nap and that made me feel good because I tend to beat myself up for taking time for myself. I always try so hard to be "super mom" and in my silly mind, "super mom" certainly doesn't need abundant amounts of rest. Lol
I am so blessed to have such a wonderful and helpful husband. It's like he lives to please me and help me as much as he can. I know I've said it before, but I seriously don't get how single moms do it! My husband is my rock and my number one support system!
Well, John's off tonight so I'm going to enjoy a nice, relaxing movie night with him. Have I mentioned lately that I love that guy??!? :-)
This afternoon we were really busy running errands and Brooke fell asleep on the way home... NOT GOOD. I was feeling very sleepy and looking forward to my nap, but I knew that she would wake up as soon as we got home. This is a new phase that she's been going through lately and it's VERY frustrating. Anyways, just as I predicted, she wouldn't go back to sleep and I was so extremely spent so John sent me to bed. Hey, I wasn't going to argue with him! I reluctantly went upstairs (feeling kind of guilty) and I told him to wake me after a half an hour, but of course he didn't listen. I woke up 2 hours later from the most restful, amazing nap that I've had in a long time. It was heaven sent!!
That was incredibly sweet of John and all, but what really made me smile was the amount of fun he and Brookie were having when I woke up. I swear to you... Every single toy that we own (and we have A LOT!) was either on or in use. I don't think I've ever heard so many toys going off at the same time:-) On top of that, the two of them were reading books, wrestling, and laughing hysterically. They enjoy each other when I'm awake too, but sometimes it's nice for them to have a couple of hours of one-on-one time with one another. It was a priceless scene that put a huge smile on my face!
When I tried to join in on all of the action Brooke was NOT having it. It was clear that she and daddy were having far too much fun and I was crashing the party. For the rest of the afternoon she was glued to John's hip and he had to do everything for her. I hate to admit it, but she really is a daddy's girl. I've pretty much known that since the first few hours of her life.
John was so happy that I got a nap and that made me feel good because I tend to beat myself up for taking time for myself. I always try so hard to be "super mom" and in my silly mind, "super mom" certainly doesn't need abundant amounts of rest. Lol
I am so blessed to have such a wonderful and helpful husband. It's like he lives to please me and help me as much as he can. I know I've said it before, but I seriously don't get how single moms do it! My husband is my rock and my number one support system!
Well, John's off tonight so I'm going to enjoy a nice, relaxing movie night with him. Have I mentioned lately that I love that guy??!? :-)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Adventures of Lamby and Brookie
When we took Brooke to the ER for her sprained ankle they gave her this adorable little stuffed lamb. I wish I had a picture of it that I could post on her, but I just don't have one right now. Darn! Anyways, I had no concept of how attached Brooke would be come to this little stuffed animal, but she's completely hooked to the thing. Here are some Lamby facts for you:
*Brooke must sleep with Lamby 100 percent of the time. She gets VERY upset if we forget to put Lamby in the crib with her. She cuddles with it (or she, whatever) orholds it by the ear. It's really precious to watch!
*Each morning when Brooke wakes up she yells, "Mommy, Lamby hungry. Want oatmeal!" So of course we bring Lamby on downstairs for the breakfast routine and we have to pretend to feed her and everything. Lol! At least she's concerned about her lamb's nourishment!
*Lamby goes everywhere with us.... Church, grocery shopping, car rides, visits to see family members, restaurants, etc... Luckily Brooke can be convinced to leave Lamby in the car sometimes. I don't mind the silly stuffed animal tagging along with us, but I always fear that it will get lost or filthy when we take out and about.
*Yesterday John's parents took Brooke (and Lamby too, of course) to the pumpkin farm. Apparently the whole way there Brooke begged for shoes for Lamby to wear. So after they were done at the pumpkin farm, the went to the dollar store and purchased pink shoes for Lamby. They are such a pain because Brooke likes to take them on and off but it's kind of cute, I must admit!
*I was fixing Brooke's bow for church tonight and Brooke said, "Lamby wants bow!" So guess what I did? I found a way to attach a bow on that silly stuffed animal's head. It looks pretty darn nice, if I do say so myself!
*Brooke has been known to "nurse" Lamby. She sometimes asks me to but I always encourage her to do it instead. :-) Hehe
*Lamby plays with blocks with us. Brooke says, "Lamby want play blocks!" It's hilarious because she will sit there and give the lamb a huge pile of blocks, while only rationing 2 or 3 blocks for me to play with. I've been replaced:-( Lol
*When Brooke wants a treat, she uses Lamby as her "scapegoat" by saying, "Lamby wants treat!" I haven't quite figured out if she truly wants the treat for the stuffed animal or if she's using Lamby as a front to con me in to giving her a treat. Hmmm...
*Lamby has her teeth brushed and hair combed. She's a very refined stuffed animal.
*Whenever Brooke has a sippy cup with milk in it, guess who else has to have a cup? You guessed it! Lamby!!
*Lamby probably gets more hugs and kisses from Brooke than John and I do combined.
I think this attachment to Lamby is absolutely adorable! I know it's just a stuffed animal, but she takes very care of it. Lol! It's really precious watching her obsess over the lamb and I hope that she doesn't grow out of this stage quickly because I'm having a lot of fun observing all of this!!
*Brooke must sleep with Lamby 100 percent of the time. She gets VERY upset if we forget to put Lamby in the crib with her. She cuddles with it (or she, whatever) orholds it by the ear. It's really precious to watch!
*Each morning when Brooke wakes up she yells, "Mommy, Lamby hungry. Want oatmeal!" So of course we bring Lamby on downstairs for the breakfast routine and we have to pretend to feed her and everything. Lol! At least she's concerned about her lamb's nourishment!
*Lamby goes everywhere with us.... Church, grocery shopping, car rides, visits to see family members, restaurants, etc... Luckily Brooke can be convinced to leave Lamby in the car sometimes. I don't mind the silly stuffed animal tagging along with us, but I always fear that it will get lost or filthy when we take out and about.
*Yesterday John's parents took Brooke (and Lamby too, of course) to the pumpkin farm. Apparently the whole way there Brooke begged for shoes for Lamby to wear. So after they were done at the pumpkin farm, the went to the dollar store and purchased pink shoes for Lamby. They are such a pain because Brooke likes to take them on and off but it's kind of cute, I must admit!
*I was fixing Brooke's bow for church tonight and Brooke said, "Lamby wants bow!" So guess what I did? I found a way to attach a bow on that silly stuffed animal's head. It looks pretty darn nice, if I do say so myself!
*Brooke has been known to "nurse" Lamby. She sometimes asks me to but I always encourage her to do it instead. :-) Hehe
*Lamby plays with blocks with us. Brooke says, "Lamby want play blocks!" It's hilarious because she will sit there and give the lamb a huge pile of blocks, while only rationing 2 or 3 blocks for me to play with. I've been replaced:-( Lol
*When Brooke wants a treat, she uses Lamby as her "scapegoat" by saying, "Lamby wants treat!" I haven't quite figured out if she truly wants the treat for the stuffed animal or if she's using Lamby as a front to con me in to giving her a treat. Hmmm...
*Lamby has her teeth brushed and hair combed. She's a very refined stuffed animal.
*Whenever Brooke has a sippy cup with milk in it, guess who else has to have a cup? You guessed it! Lamby!!
*Lamby probably gets more hugs and kisses from Brooke than John and I do combined.
I think this attachment to Lamby is absolutely adorable! I know it's just a stuffed animal, but she takes very care of it. Lol! It's really precious watching her obsess over the lamb and I hope that she doesn't grow out of this stage quickly because I'm having a lot of fun observing all of this!!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I Miss My Piano!
This may sound pitiful for many of you, but for several years I would play the piano for sometimes more than 5 hours a day. (Yes, you read that right!) There were some days when I would even play for up to 7 hours... Not because I was under strict training or anything or because I had to, but because I loved to play more than anything in the universe. I would get out my favorite music... Classical music by great composers like Beethoven, Bach, Rachmaninoff (my favorite!), Mozart, etc.. I would also play all manner of other types of music such as love songs, church songs, modern compositions, Broadway theater music, Elton John, Billy Joel, etc... You name it, I played it.
I can remember it being beautiful outside and my brother and sister would be out and about playing, but I would find comfort and refuge behind my faithful piano. Nothing really enticed me enough to pull me away from playing my heart out. It was a great way for me to release so many different emotions... If I was sad, I played very slowly and softly, and if I was happy I would play loud and fast. My mom always said that she knew when I was mad because I would play "angrily!" I usually dragged out a good Rachmaninoff prelude for such occasions as that!
My freshman year of high school I got really involved in my school's drama and choir program, which pulled me away from the piano a lot, but I would still manage to play for maybe 5 hours a week or so (many times more). When I was a sophomore I got my job at Red Lobster, where I ended up being a host manager and trainer, so I was VERY busy with that. That left very little time for the piano which was the big downside to be successful at my job. When I was a senior I started dating John, who obviously captivated the majority of my free time. The busier life got, the less time I had to enjoy the piano. Before I knew it, I rarely got to play for pleasure.
When John and I moved into our first house we took my childhood piano with us. It was never quite the same though because the piano was so old that the move did not do it well. It never felt like my same old piano every again. When Brooke came along we got rid of the piano altogether because our house was so small. Now, however, we have all of this room with nothing to fill it with and I want a piano SO badly!! I can envision my nights filled with music and relaxation behind the piano. Nothing sounds more relaxing to me than that! I've decided though, that I would really prefer to have a weighted keyboard (like I use at church) because I can control the volume, which would mean that I could play it however late I want to without waking up Brookie. The other advantage to an electric keyboard is that they require no tuning. I'm all for that! The prospect of me getting this beloved keyboard is not good though because it's like $600 for a cheaper one and I can think of many other things that I can spend that much money on other than something for ME.
I have been my church's pianist since I was 11, so at least I still get to play on Sundays. I play (and sing too) in the worship team and then I play a solo piece for the offertory each week. I enjoy that time so much because I rarely get to sit behind the piano and play anymore. I get so many compliments on my music while I'm at church and it really embarrasses me because it's GOD's talent and not my own. I literally pick up a piece of music two minutes before the offertory and play it without practicing it. That's not something that I am capable of... It's totally God working through me.
So yeah, if you're Bill Gates (or someone with his amount of money), feel free to ship me a nice Yamaha weighted keyboard. You wouldn't be giving me just a piano, you would be giving me countless hours filled with joy and relaxation. :-)
I can remember it being beautiful outside and my brother and sister would be out and about playing, but I would find comfort and refuge behind my faithful piano. Nothing really enticed me enough to pull me away from playing my heart out. It was a great way for me to release so many different emotions... If I was sad, I played very slowly and softly, and if I was happy I would play loud and fast. My mom always said that she knew when I was mad because I would play "angrily!" I usually dragged out a good Rachmaninoff prelude for such occasions as that!
My freshman year of high school I got really involved in my school's drama and choir program, which pulled me away from the piano a lot, but I would still manage to play for maybe 5 hours a week or so (many times more). When I was a sophomore I got my job at Red Lobster, where I ended up being a host manager and trainer, so I was VERY busy with that. That left very little time for the piano which was the big downside to be successful at my job. When I was a senior I started dating John, who obviously captivated the majority of my free time. The busier life got, the less time I had to enjoy the piano. Before I knew it, I rarely got to play for pleasure.
When John and I moved into our first house we took my childhood piano with us. It was never quite the same though because the piano was so old that the move did not do it well. It never felt like my same old piano every again. When Brooke came along we got rid of the piano altogether because our house was so small. Now, however, we have all of this room with nothing to fill it with and I want a piano SO badly!! I can envision my nights filled with music and relaxation behind the piano. Nothing sounds more relaxing to me than that! I've decided though, that I would really prefer to have a weighted keyboard (like I use at church) because I can control the volume, which would mean that I could play it however late I want to without waking up Brookie. The other advantage to an electric keyboard is that they require no tuning. I'm all for that! The prospect of me getting this beloved keyboard is not good though because it's like $600 for a cheaper one and I can think of many other things that I can spend that much money on other than something for ME.
I have been my church's pianist since I was 11, so at least I still get to play on Sundays. I play (and sing too) in the worship team and then I play a solo piece for the offertory each week. I enjoy that time so much because I rarely get to sit behind the piano and play anymore. I get so many compliments on my music while I'm at church and it really embarrasses me because it's GOD's talent and not my own. I literally pick up a piece of music two minutes before the offertory and play it without practicing it. That's not something that I am capable of... It's totally God working through me.
So yeah, if you're Bill Gates (or someone with his amount of money), feel free to ship me a nice Yamaha weighted keyboard. You wouldn't be giving me just a piano, you would be giving me countless hours filled with joy and relaxation. :-)
Friday, October 17, 2008
Politically Incorrect
I am so sick of this presidential election campaign!!! I am very patriotic and I advocate voting and being well informed about the candidate I choose, but the constant slandering and debating just starts to get to me after a while.
I have been feeling this way for a while but last night when I heard stupid Barack Obama insult John McCain and the republican party over and over and over and over again, I seriously just wanted to punch him. I found myself wishing that I could immediately find him and his snobby looking wife and trip them or something. UGH! What got me extremely ticked off was when Obama was insulting Rudy Giuliani. Hello Obama! Have you forgotten that he's not even your opponent anymore???? Get a life and talk about something/someone that's actually RELEVANT to this election. What else really got to me is that I heard Obama give the same speech at two different locations... Once at a memorial dinner and once at some rally in VA (or somewhere like that). You would think he could get some more original material? Nah, that's too much to ask.
I just don't understand the hype over Obama, anyways. I'm not sure why girls gawk over him because I think he looks horrendous. I dare say that John McCain is more attractive than him! (Okay, maybe that's stretching it!) I don't think that he has a very charismatic personality and I also think that he gives horrible speeches. Just listening to him seriously makes my skin crawl. Yuck!
Obviously I have more issues with Obama than his appearance or his foolishness... I have BIG issues with what he stands for. The fact that he supports abortion really, really kills me and I dread what will happen to unborn babies in America if he is, in fact, elected. God help us when that day comes. The sanctity of human life is evidently something that's not important to Barack Obama and that's a crying shame. He is also for gay rights, which is another thing that I struggle with. I fear the peril that his standards on homosexuality will inflict on the institution of marriage. Again, God help us. Our country is in turmoil as it is and I seriously can't imagine what will happen if this man with "feel good policies" is elected president. I know that God's hand is on this election and that nothing takes Him by surprise. I'm trying to take peace in that but seeing the country flock to such an ungodly candidate really scares me.
I was really raging over the election yesterday when a Christian girl (who I know through the computer) was ranting and raving about how she wanted to vote for Obama for his good economic policies, among other things. Each person is entitled to vote for whoever they want and I realize that there is not a perfect candidate, but how in the universe can one vote for someone who is pro-choice and pro-gay rights and have that align with your belief in God's word? I just don't get it. Don't we, as Christians, have the moral and spiritual obligation to be "The light of the world" and uphold the values of our Father??? If Christians vote, and vote according to the scriptures, Obama wouldn't have a chance. VOTE Christians. Our country needs you!
I realize that this post may seem rash and I know that it's extremely politically incorrect, but I'm just so sick of God being pushed and pushed farther out of the country that I love. People on the opposite side of the spectrum as me don't hold back their displeasure and I am no longer biting my tongue either!
I have been feeling this way for a while but last night when I heard stupid Barack Obama insult John McCain and the republican party over and over and over and over again, I seriously just wanted to punch him. I found myself wishing that I could immediately find him and his snobby looking wife and trip them or something. UGH! What got me extremely ticked off was when Obama was insulting Rudy Giuliani. Hello Obama! Have you forgotten that he's not even your opponent anymore???? Get a life and talk about something/someone that's actually RELEVANT to this election. What else really got to me is that I heard Obama give the same speech at two different locations... Once at a memorial dinner and once at some rally in VA (or somewhere like that). You would think he could get some more original material? Nah, that's too much to ask.
I just don't understand the hype over Obama, anyways. I'm not sure why girls gawk over him because I think he looks horrendous. I dare say that John McCain is more attractive than him! (Okay, maybe that's stretching it!) I don't think that he has a very charismatic personality and I also think that he gives horrible speeches. Just listening to him seriously makes my skin crawl. Yuck!
Obviously I have more issues with Obama than his appearance or his foolishness... I have BIG issues with what he stands for. The fact that he supports abortion really, really kills me and I dread what will happen to unborn babies in America if he is, in fact, elected. God help us when that day comes. The sanctity of human life is evidently something that's not important to Barack Obama and that's a crying shame. He is also for gay rights, which is another thing that I struggle with. I fear the peril that his standards on homosexuality will inflict on the institution of marriage. Again, God help us. Our country is in turmoil as it is and I seriously can't imagine what will happen if this man with "feel good policies" is elected president. I know that God's hand is on this election and that nothing takes Him by surprise. I'm trying to take peace in that but seeing the country flock to such an ungodly candidate really scares me.
I was really raging over the election yesterday when a Christian girl (who I know through the computer) was ranting and raving about how she wanted to vote for Obama for his good economic policies, among other things. Each person is entitled to vote for whoever they want and I realize that there is not a perfect candidate, but how in the universe can one vote for someone who is pro-choice and pro-gay rights and have that align with your belief in God's word? I just don't get it. Don't we, as Christians, have the moral and spiritual obligation to be "The light of the world" and uphold the values of our Father??? If Christians vote, and vote according to the scriptures, Obama wouldn't have a chance. VOTE Christians. Our country needs you!
I realize that this post may seem rash and I know that it's extremely politically incorrect, but I'm just so sick of God being pushed and pushed farther out of the country that I love. People on the opposite side of the spectrum as me don't hold back their displeasure and I am no longer biting my tongue either!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I Confess, I'm In OVER MY HEAD!
I'm not trying to be overly dramatic or anything, but I seriously think I'm having a nervous breakdown! I have been pretty sick with this baby and I feel like my whole house is in shambles because of it... In reality, I need to vacuum, organize Brooke's playroom, fold some more laundry, and mop the floors, which isn't TOO bad, I guess. It's so hard to get to everything I need to get to when I'm busy throwing up and feeling nauseous constantly, on top of chasing a 20-month-old around the house.
Right now I want to vacuum upstairs so badly because I haven't done it yet this week but John threatened me within an inch of my life not to carry the vacuum up here. People hear that your doctor tells you to take it easy and they go gaga! Lol! I have a wonderful husband who has been truly amazing and helpful, but I just feel like I'm slacking. I keep reminding myself that the first trimester is exhausting with the sickness and everything and that it will pass, but I'm getting so discouraged. John has offered to take over the laundry but the man works so much that I like to be the keeper of the home that I'm supposed to be. I do NOT accept help well from others and I have to keep reminding myself that John and I are team and I'm not some failure to let him pick up my slack a little more.
With Brooke I was sick like this until about 14/15 weeks and then life got a lot easier. I specifically remember still being sick until then because we went to a graduation party in Buffalo when I was 14 weeks pregnant with Brooke and I threw up at McDonald's. The things we never forget! Lol! I hope and pray that maybe the morning (or all day) sickness goes away quickly. It's horrible but so very worth it to carry a healthy baby.
With all this being said, I think I'm going to go fold some laundry and slowly but surely my house will hopefully be up to my standards. I am constantly learning that housework isn't everything but it still drives me insane!!!
Right now I want to vacuum upstairs so badly because I haven't done it yet this week but John threatened me within an inch of my life not to carry the vacuum up here. People hear that your doctor tells you to take it easy and they go gaga! Lol! I have a wonderful husband who has been truly amazing and helpful, but I just feel like I'm slacking. I keep reminding myself that the first trimester is exhausting with the sickness and everything and that it will pass, but I'm getting so discouraged. John has offered to take over the laundry but the man works so much that I like to be the keeper of the home that I'm supposed to be. I do NOT accept help well from others and I have to keep reminding myself that John and I are team and I'm not some failure to let him pick up my slack a little more.
With Brooke I was sick like this until about 14/15 weeks and then life got a lot easier. I specifically remember still being sick until then because we went to a graduation party in Buffalo when I was 14 weeks pregnant with Brooke and I threw up at McDonald's. The things we never forget! Lol! I hope and pray that maybe the morning (or all day) sickness goes away quickly. It's horrible but so very worth it to carry a healthy baby.
With all this being said, I think I'm going to go fold some laundry and slowly but surely my house will hopefully be up to my standards. I am constantly learning that housework isn't everything but it still drives me insane!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
My Miracle
I was going to wait until I was further along to let the cat out of the bag, but I'm pregnant! I have a very special story that I would like to share because God has provided my family with a miracle today and I simply can't wait another x-amount of weeks to share! So, without further ado, here goes nothing...
I found out about 3 weeks ago that baby #2 is on it's way. I have been throwing up every day and feeling extremely nauseous, tired, and awful for most of the time. Because I always heard that sickness meant strong HCG levels, I rejoiced in that and it gave me a strong sense of security. Well, this morning at about 8 o'clock, my world came crashing down when I woke up to light spotting. I saw the minuscule amount of blood and freaked out. I called the doctor and they were able to get me in immediately. On the way to the hospital, I kept telling John, "I do NOT want to go down the miscarriage road again. I CANNOT do this." He reminded me that it was in God's hands and that we needed to rejoice regardless of the situations we encounter. That was hard for me to put into practice as we waited to see the doctor.
First things first, the doctor did a pelvic exam and felt around. He said that my uterus was obviously growing and that everything seemed to look and feel perfect. That was encouraging. Then he told me he wanted to do an ultrasound but he needed a few minutes because the machine was being used. As we sat in the waiting room, many thoughts were running through my head, but God's peace truly reigned over me. I told God that it was HIS problem and I that I trusted Him to do what was best for my family.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the doctor called me in for the ultrasound. He first got a view of things and I didn't see much going on in there. I was freaking out (internally, anyways). Only seconds later my eyes feasted on the most beautiful thing ever... My precious baby's heartbeat!!! The doctor looked at me and said, "Your baby is measuring right on track, it has a strong heartbeat, and things look great!" Tears of joy filled my eyes because I felt like a true miracle had been performed by God. Life is so fragile and my baby is so seemingly delicate, but knowing that God's got it figured out gives me great hope that things will be okay.
We have another appointment next Friday and until then I'm on restricted activities and am supposed to take it easy. I am NOT good at resting but he suggested that I do just that. We're about 7 weeks along so far, giving an estimated due date of June 4Th. He said that we can be "cautiously optimistic" and that we'll monitor things very closely over the next several weeks.
The doctor printed out a picture of the peanut today and Brooke grabbed it. We told her it was her brother or her sister and she kissed it. Lol! She held onto the whole way home and said, "Show Naynay (Nathan) brother/sister." Ha! One day when Brooke is picking on her younger sibling we'll be able to remind her that she loved him or her at very first glance so she should shape up and be nice:-)
So, yes, it's been a very long, emotional day. It's hard not to freak out over every little pain or discomfort I feel because I'm still nervous, but I know that paranoia is only going to make things worse! I would appreciate prayers right now that God would send comfort my way, that only He can give.
I found out about 3 weeks ago that baby #2 is on it's way. I have been throwing up every day and feeling extremely nauseous, tired, and awful for most of the time. Because I always heard that sickness meant strong HCG levels, I rejoiced in that and it gave me a strong sense of security. Well, this morning at about 8 o'clock, my world came crashing down when I woke up to light spotting. I saw the minuscule amount of blood and freaked out. I called the doctor and they were able to get me in immediately. On the way to the hospital, I kept telling John, "I do NOT want to go down the miscarriage road again. I CANNOT do this." He reminded me that it was in God's hands and that we needed to rejoice regardless of the situations we encounter. That was hard for me to put into practice as we waited to see the doctor.
First things first, the doctor did a pelvic exam and felt around. He said that my uterus was obviously growing and that everything seemed to look and feel perfect. That was encouraging. Then he told me he wanted to do an ultrasound but he needed a few minutes because the machine was being used. As we sat in the waiting room, many thoughts were running through my head, but God's peace truly reigned over me. I told God that it was HIS problem and I that I trusted Him to do what was best for my family.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the doctor called me in for the ultrasound. He first got a view of things and I didn't see much going on in there. I was freaking out (internally, anyways). Only seconds later my eyes feasted on the most beautiful thing ever... My precious baby's heartbeat!!! The doctor looked at me and said, "Your baby is measuring right on track, it has a strong heartbeat, and things look great!" Tears of joy filled my eyes because I felt like a true miracle had been performed by God. Life is so fragile and my baby is so seemingly delicate, but knowing that God's got it figured out gives me great hope that things will be okay.
We have another appointment next Friday and until then I'm on restricted activities and am supposed to take it easy. I am NOT good at resting but he suggested that I do just that. We're about 7 weeks along so far, giving an estimated due date of June 4Th. He said that we can be "cautiously optimistic" and that we'll monitor things very closely over the next several weeks.
The doctor printed out a picture of the peanut today and Brooke grabbed it. We told her it was her brother or her sister and she kissed it. Lol! She held onto the whole way home and said, "Show Naynay (Nathan) brother/sister." Ha! One day when Brooke is picking on her younger sibling we'll be able to remind her that she loved him or her at very first glance so she should shape up and be nice:-)
So, yes, it's been a very long, emotional day. It's hard not to freak out over every little pain or discomfort I feel because I'm still nervous, but I know that paranoia is only going to make things worse! I would appreciate prayers right now that God would send comfort my way, that only He can give.
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