I had one of my last doctor's visits today... Only 2 more appointments to go after this one! I must say, with every pregnancy it's kind of sad to be so close to the end because I grow so attached to the staff. I really like my doctor and he's awesome but I especially LOVE his nurse and it will be sad to not see her. Life goes on!
Today was a more interesting appointment than some of the others. They asked if the baby was really active and though I wasn't worried, I said that her movements have been kind of infrequent lately. This is how all of my babies have been, though, and for some reason, they're just kind of mellow in the womb. Anyways, to be extra sure that the baby was okay they did a NST (Non Stress Test) and sure enough, she checked out fine. I knew that she was fine but truthfully, it was reassuring because she doesn't always make her presence known!
The doctor also did my Group B Strep test, which is pretty much just a formality when you're having a C-Section. Whatever. It's over and done with, thankfully! He then felt around and is still guessing that the baby will be under 8 pounds. Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it!
I'm getting SO excited about meeting this little girl. I've been so stressed out about getting everything in order for her arrival that sometimes I forgot what I'm actually working towards. It's pretty amazing to stop and think that in a little over 3 weeks I will be holding, nursing, and loving on my girl! I can't wait!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
One-On-One
As I mentioned briefly yesterday, Brooke has been having some issues with her attitude. She's a great kid and her behavior is incredible.. It's just that will and mouth on her that gets her into trouble. I have been trying to be extra patient with her because I know her life is changing just as much as mine is. I thought that spending some quality time with her would help her feel extra special and help us kind of reconnect.
I made plans for Adrienne this afternoon and let Brooke pretty much call the shots. It breaks my heart when I think about the simplicity of her requests... To go to McDonald's with nobody else (She listed our entire family who wasn't invited. Lol) and to go home and snuggle and watch cooking shows. I told her we could go to the movies or shop or whatever she wanted but that was what her little heart desired. She gets her fair share of Happy Meals and she snuggles with me daily but somehow the fact that we would be alone is what really excited her.
I must say, having just one child for the afternoon was almost a little bit weird! I was amazed at how easy it was and how getting our food and going to the potty wasn't quite so much work. Mostly, though, I just enjoyed the uninterrupted conversations and giggles with my oldest princess. I heard lots of funny stories and silly tidbits about her little life and somehow grew to love her even more. She and I then went home to snuggle for about an hour and then we played with puzzles and read books, all without interruption.
At one point Brooke said to me, "We like being alone without Adrienne!" I had to explain to her that while we enjoy being alone sometimes, Adrienne is still just as important and special. I then compared it to when John and I go on a date without her and she seemed to get that. It's got to be a hard concept for a four-year-old!
Sometimes I struggle as I feel divided between my daughters. I never want them to even have room to sense favoritism because there is not an ounce of that in my heart. Despite the challenges of splitting myself evenly, the wonderful gift of giving my daughters each other is more than enough of a benefit to make up for it.
I made plans for Adrienne this afternoon and let Brooke pretty much call the shots. It breaks my heart when I think about the simplicity of her requests... To go to McDonald's with nobody else (She listed our entire family who wasn't invited. Lol) and to go home and snuggle and watch cooking shows. I told her we could go to the movies or shop or whatever she wanted but that was what her little heart desired. She gets her fair share of Happy Meals and she snuggles with me daily but somehow the fact that we would be alone is what really excited her.
I must say, having just one child for the afternoon was almost a little bit weird! I was amazed at how easy it was and how getting our food and going to the potty wasn't quite so much work. Mostly, though, I just enjoyed the uninterrupted conversations and giggles with my oldest princess. I heard lots of funny stories and silly tidbits about her little life and somehow grew to love her even more. She and I then went home to snuggle for about an hour and then we played with puzzles and read books, all without interruption.
At one point Brooke said to me, "We like being alone without Adrienne!" I had to explain to her that while we enjoy being alone sometimes, Adrienne is still just as important and special. I then compared it to when John and I go on a date without her and she seemed to get that. It's got to be a hard concept for a four-year-old!
Sometimes I struggle as I feel divided between my daughters. I never want them to even have room to sense favoritism because there is not an ounce of that in my heart. Despite the challenges of splitting myself evenly, the wonderful gift of giving my daughters each other is more than enough of a benefit to make up for it.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Super Mom Does NOT Live Here
We were hit by yet another awful storm here in the Northeast, leaving us housebound. I enjoy being stuck in with my girls and the day really does fly by. The first half of our morning was wonderful... We had a nice breakfast with plenty of giggles and good conversation and then a nice long bath for the girls. After I tidied up from breakfast and all, we spent a good while on a paper chain with 28 links on it to help the girls be able to visualize the time until Bailey gets here. We had so much fun and I was thinking to myself how much I love being a mom and how I am maybe even kind of good at it.
Not long after that, my confidence was completely destroyed. I won't get into too many of the details but let's just say that Brooke was having some MAJOR attitude issues. It was this big ordeal and she was so angry and crying uncontrollably that she was quite the force to be reckoned with. She had me so upset inside that I sent her to her room and couldn't even deal with her until I took a few minutes to calm down. During that time I just broke into tears and was completely heartbroken over everything that was going on. In my four years of parenting, it was probably the biggest disciplinary challenge I've had to face.
All is well that ends well and of course my sweet princess has had a major transformation. Her attitude has been wonderful since her tantrum and I'm happy because that must mean I got through to her. The point of this whole story is that I am continually reminded of the fact that I don't have the power to be a good, or even decent, mom on my own power. If I depend on myself for the strength to get through each day then I might have some good days here and there but each time things get tough, I promise I'll fall flat on my butt every time. I need to daily be seeking God for His wisdom on raising my girls and relying less on my intuitions or parenting magazines. As the Bible says in Proverbs, "Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart. Lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." I find that to be so reassuring, especially in the midst of challenges like today.
So, while I like to think that I'm "Super Mom," I am once again reminded that I most definitely am NOT. I'm just an average mom who needs all the help she can get from her savior just to get through each and every day. This parenting thing is TOUGH stuff but I'm thankful that I do not have to go at it on my own!
Not long after that, my confidence was completely destroyed. I won't get into too many of the details but let's just say that Brooke was having some MAJOR attitude issues. It was this big ordeal and she was so angry and crying uncontrollably that she was quite the force to be reckoned with. She had me so upset inside that I sent her to her room and couldn't even deal with her until I took a few minutes to calm down. During that time I just broke into tears and was completely heartbroken over everything that was going on. In my four years of parenting, it was probably the biggest disciplinary challenge I've had to face.
All is well that ends well and of course my sweet princess has had a major transformation. Her attitude has been wonderful since her tantrum and I'm happy because that must mean I got through to her. The point of this whole story is that I am continually reminded of the fact that I don't have the power to be a good, or even decent, mom on my own power. If I depend on myself for the strength to get through each day then I might have some good days here and there but each time things get tough, I promise I'll fall flat on my butt every time. I need to daily be seeking God for His wisdom on raising my girls and relying less on my intuitions or parenting magazines. As the Bible says in Proverbs, "Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart. Lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." I find that to be so reassuring, especially in the midst of challenges like today.
So, while I like to think that I'm "Super Mom," I am once again reminded that I most definitely am NOT. I'm just an average mom who needs all the help she can get from her savior just to get through each and every day. This parenting thing is TOUGH stuff but I'm thankful that I do not have to go at it on my own!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Making A Dent!
I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record to anyone out there but getting ready for this baby is pretty much consuming my life these days. She will be here a month from tomorrow and I just cannot seem to get that through my brain!
I am thrilled because John had a three day weekend and we got so much accomplished around this house. The baby swing is assembled, the bouncy seat it out just waiting for its new occupant, and all of the newborn clothes are washed, sorted and put away. We got tons of cleaning and organizing done, as well, and John was a huge participant! I'm also excited because we bought Adrienne's mattress on Tuesday and her bed will be delivered next Tuesday. It's kind of sad to think that my precious girl will only be in her crib for a few more nights. I have to move on from that because I might cry if I think about it too long!
I'm kind of concerned about baby clothes and this bothers me because I didn't think it would be an issue. We have maybe 7 or 8 new newborn outfits that my family has randomly purchased for the baby, which is great, but we only have a hand full of other newborn outfits from the other girls that will be season appropriate. Brooke's newborn clothes were really warm winter clothes and Adrienne's newborn outfits are really springy. March is kind of a toss up so we need to be sure we have lots of in between things. I expect her to be in newborn clothes for a month or so and after that, I only have a few 0-3 things that are for Spring. We have tons of gorgeous sun dresses and summer outfits but it's New York so I doubt she'll be using those right away. So now I'm on the hunt for some little Spring outfits for my Bailey girl. The good news is that she has lots of sleepers, sleeping gowns, and gorgeous crochet bows!
Through all of this, I am so thankful for my husband. I've been super stressed, I'll admit, and he knows me well enough to sense that. Sometimes he'll just come put his arms around me and say, "It will get done, Babe, don't worry." Other times, he just gives me a look that lets me know that everything will work out. When he tells me things will work happen, I believe him. He's true to his word and doesn't just sit there and let me carry the weight of getting this house ready. It amazes me how crazy I am about that man and with each new stage of life, my admiration for him only grows. (You can go throw up now if you like!)
I still have a long list of things that I need to accomplish but I'm really trying just to enjoy this last month of pregnancy and chill out. Life will only get more crazy once she arrives so I should probably take a deep breath! Easier said than done.. Especially when you're me!
I am thrilled because John had a three day weekend and we got so much accomplished around this house. The baby swing is assembled, the bouncy seat it out just waiting for its new occupant, and all of the newborn clothes are washed, sorted and put away. We got tons of cleaning and organizing done, as well, and John was a huge participant! I'm also excited because we bought Adrienne's mattress on Tuesday and her bed will be delivered next Tuesday. It's kind of sad to think that my precious girl will only be in her crib for a few more nights. I have to move on from that because I might cry if I think about it too long!
I'm kind of concerned about baby clothes and this bothers me because I didn't think it would be an issue. We have maybe 7 or 8 new newborn outfits that my family has randomly purchased for the baby, which is great, but we only have a hand full of other newborn outfits from the other girls that will be season appropriate. Brooke's newborn clothes were really warm winter clothes and Adrienne's newborn outfits are really springy. March is kind of a toss up so we need to be sure we have lots of in between things. I expect her to be in newborn clothes for a month or so and after that, I only have a few 0-3 things that are for Spring. We have tons of gorgeous sun dresses and summer outfits but it's New York so I doubt she'll be using those right away. So now I'm on the hunt for some little Spring outfits for my Bailey girl. The good news is that she has lots of sleepers, sleeping gowns, and gorgeous crochet bows!
Through all of this, I am so thankful for my husband. I've been super stressed, I'll admit, and he knows me well enough to sense that. Sometimes he'll just come put his arms around me and say, "It will get done, Babe, don't worry." Other times, he just gives me a look that lets me know that everything will work out. When he tells me things will work happen, I believe him. He's true to his word and doesn't just sit there and let me carry the weight of getting this house ready. It amazes me how crazy I am about that man and with each new stage of life, my admiration for him only grows. (You can go throw up now if you like!)
I still have a long list of things that I need to accomplish but I'm really trying just to enjoy this last month of pregnancy and chill out. Life will only get more crazy once she arrives so I should probably take a deep breath! Easier said than done.. Especially when you're me!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Matters of the Home
I have encountered several "holier than thou" type women lately that claim that they never clean or do household chores while their children are awake. One person said, "My children need to know that they come before the mop and broom." While that statement may be true, there is a fine line between cleaning and being consumed with cleaning.
My thoughts are that I am called to be a keeper of the home. This sometimes means that I step away from playing with blocks and reading books to mop the floor or to do the dishes. My girls know that they are my priority but allowing them to have time during the day to play with each other alone does not diminish that. On top of that, if I just so happened to be mopping the floor it doesn't mean that I let them scream hysterically in the other room... Most of the time I'm required to stop several times to tend to different issues they have.
Furthermore, I feel as though it's VERY important to teach my daughters how to run a household. If they see me constantly "eating the bread of idleness," (as it is referred to in Proverbs) what kind of message is that sending to them? I try to include them in the different chores that I do and they really enjoy it! Both girls love "folding" laundry and Brooke already knows how to help me sort the lights, whites, and darks. If I'm vacuuming, they get their little toy vacuums out and follow me. If I'm hanging up clothes, I let them pass me hangers. I really don't think that they're too young to be included in these tasks and in the process, they're learning responsibility. These are small steps in teaching them how to keep their homes one day.
Besides, if I only cleaned after they went to bed at night or during nap time then what time would that leave for my husband? I absolutely love my children with every ounce of me but my husband has needs, too. If gave up the little chores I did throughout the day and used my evening time alone with him to make up for it, I would never get time with him. It just doesn't make sense to me.
So what about you? Where do you draw the line? Am I some evil mother for occasionally dragging out the mop and broom? I truly don't think so and not much of what anyone has to say could convince me of that. I am interested, however, on how the rest of you manage your homes.
My thoughts are that I am called to be a keeper of the home. This sometimes means that I step away from playing with blocks and reading books to mop the floor or to do the dishes. My girls know that they are my priority but allowing them to have time during the day to play with each other alone does not diminish that. On top of that, if I just so happened to be mopping the floor it doesn't mean that I let them scream hysterically in the other room... Most of the time I'm required to stop several times to tend to different issues they have.
Furthermore, I feel as though it's VERY important to teach my daughters how to run a household. If they see me constantly "eating the bread of idleness," (as it is referred to in Proverbs) what kind of message is that sending to them? I try to include them in the different chores that I do and they really enjoy it! Both girls love "folding" laundry and Brooke already knows how to help me sort the lights, whites, and darks. If I'm vacuuming, they get their little toy vacuums out and follow me. If I'm hanging up clothes, I let them pass me hangers. I really don't think that they're too young to be included in these tasks and in the process, they're learning responsibility. These are small steps in teaching them how to keep their homes one day.
Besides, if I only cleaned after they went to bed at night or during nap time then what time would that leave for my husband? I absolutely love my children with every ounce of me but my husband has needs, too. If gave up the little chores I did throughout the day and used my evening time alone with him to make up for it, I would never get time with him. It just doesn't make sense to me.
So what about you? Where do you draw the line? Am I some evil mother for occasionally dragging out the mop and broom? I truly don't think so and not much of what anyone has to say could convince me of that. I am interested, however, on how the rest of you manage your homes.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Emotional Wreck
Generally speaking, I'm an emotional person. I tend to cry if I'm happy, sad, angry, nervous, etc... Even when I'm not pregnant, I cry over songs on the radio and I tend to be overly sentimental. It's just how I'm wired. I'm not one to keep things bottled up, either, so I'm pretty sure that my husband deserves a trophy for putting up with me as of late! :)
I know it's completely normal but I have been flooded with deep emotions about Adrienne not being the "baby" anymore. I felt the same way with Brooke but quickly realized that she would always have the same place in my heart that she always did, despite the new addition to our family. Tonight Adrienne got hurt (nothing severe) and cried that pitiful little cry of hers and I had to choke back tears. Stupid, right? She just never cries.. She's my tough girl who has to be in LOTS of pain to complain. At that moment I just wondered how I would have time to fix the boo boos and heartaches of three girls. It's the little things these days that cause me to become irrationally emotional. I hate it!
My C-Section is five weeks from today, a mere 35 days so we're really getting down to the wire. I know that many of these emotions come with getting no sleep and when I'm exhausted, forget about it. I toss and turn all night long and can never seem to get solid rest these days. It's par for the course, I realize, but it does not help my already zany emotions.
Through it all, I am extra thankful for a husband who gets me. He knows I'm like this and he realizes that sometimes I just need to freak out and cry and then I'm a new woman. If he was as annoyed by all of this as I am, things could really get wacky. Lol
I know it's completely normal but I have been flooded with deep emotions about Adrienne not being the "baby" anymore. I felt the same way with Brooke but quickly realized that she would always have the same place in my heart that she always did, despite the new addition to our family. Tonight Adrienne got hurt (nothing severe) and cried that pitiful little cry of hers and I had to choke back tears. Stupid, right? She just never cries.. She's my tough girl who has to be in LOTS of pain to complain. At that moment I just wondered how I would have time to fix the boo boos and heartaches of three girls. It's the little things these days that cause me to become irrationally emotional. I hate it!
My C-Section is five weeks from today, a mere 35 days so we're really getting down to the wire. I know that many of these emotions come with getting no sleep and when I'm exhausted, forget about it. I toss and turn all night long and can never seem to get solid rest these days. It's par for the course, I realize, but it does not help my already zany emotions.
Through it all, I am extra thankful for a husband who gets me. He knows I'm like this and he realizes that sometimes I just need to freak out and cry and then I'm a new woman. If he was as annoyed by all of this as I am, things could really get wacky. Lol
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Happy Birthday, Brookie!
Dear Brooke,
Today you turned four years old! I find myself asking more and more... "Where does the time go?" It's so hard for mommy to believe that you are no longer that little tiny baby but a big, independent preschooler!
Today we celebrated your life by doing lots and lots of fun things. You, of course, got to "call the shots" and pick what activities we did. For starters, you woke up very early requesting your special cereal... Trix. After a big bowl of that, we opened your presents. You were so excited! Next, you wanted to take a long bath with your new bath crayons, markers, and body paints. You and sissy had such a fun time in there and you smelled nice and clean when you were done. After that, we headed to Barnes and Noble to pick out your special birthday book. After all, it is our yearly tradition! You quickly picked out yet another Fancy Nancy book and you clearly weren't interested in anything else. I don't blame you, though, she's into all things pink and frilly, just like you! For lunch, you wanted pancakes at IHOP. Silly girl! Grammy and Papa met us there and we were all amazed at your big appetite! When you finished eating, they brought you a HUGE stack of chocolate pancakes with whipped cream, cherries and sprinkles and sang to you. You were in heaven! Last, but not least, we had your Wonder Pets birthday party tonight where all your family came and enjoyed themselves! We had fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli, upon your request, along with a Ming-Ming cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream. You got LOTS of nice presents, too!
Brooke Madison, I simply cannot put into words how profoundly your life has changed mine. When I think back on the past four years... the challenges and struggles, the joys and laughter.. I am brought to tears. You have helped grow me into a stronger person and because of you, I have learned so much about life.
You have become so grown up lately, Princess. You're growing tall (but staying very thin!) and your beauty on the inside and out is incredible. You are kind and loving to others and you seem to take care of the people around you. Whenever you get a special treat you are the first to share it, without even being asked! You are gentle and loving with your sister, Adrienne, and when Bailey comes next month, I know you will be amazing with her, too. You have a helpful attitude and you love working alongside mommy in the kitchen and helping with the laundry. I am so blessed to have you around and above all, I am thankful to be your mama.
As the years go by, there is so much I can't wait to teach you and experience with you. There are so many "firsts" that are still ahead in your life and I am thrilled to know that I'm the one who is responsible for walking through those with you. It excites me when I think how extremely bright your future is!
I love you so much and I praise God for the day He brought you into our lives! You, my sweet daughter, are an amazing blessing to your daddy and me! Happy Birthday, baby.
With all my love,
Mama
Today you turned four years old! I find myself asking more and more... "Where does the time go?" It's so hard for mommy to believe that you are no longer that little tiny baby but a big, independent preschooler!
Today we celebrated your life by doing lots and lots of fun things. You, of course, got to "call the shots" and pick what activities we did. For starters, you woke up very early requesting your special cereal... Trix. After a big bowl of that, we opened your presents. You were so excited! Next, you wanted to take a long bath with your new bath crayons, markers, and body paints. You and sissy had such a fun time in there and you smelled nice and clean when you were done. After that, we headed to Barnes and Noble to pick out your special birthday book. After all, it is our yearly tradition! You quickly picked out yet another Fancy Nancy book and you clearly weren't interested in anything else. I don't blame you, though, she's into all things pink and frilly, just like you! For lunch, you wanted pancakes at IHOP. Silly girl! Grammy and Papa met us there and we were all amazed at your big appetite! When you finished eating, they brought you a HUGE stack of chocolate pancakes with whipped cream, cherries and sprinkles and sang to you. You were in heaven! Last, but not least, we had your Wonder Pets birthday party tonight where all your family came and enjoyed themselves! We had fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli, upon your request, along with a Ming-Ming cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream. You got LOTS of nice presents, too!
Brooke Madison, I simply cannot put into words how profoundly your life has changed mine. When I think back on the past four years... the challenges and struggles, the joys and laughter.. I am brought to tears. You have helped grow me into a stronger person and because of you, I have learned so much about life.
You have become so grown up lately, Princess. You're growing tall (but staying very thin!) and your beauty on the inside and out is incredible. You are kind and loving to others and you seem to take care of the people around you. Whenever you get a special treat you are the first to share it, without even being asked! You are gentle and loving with your sister, Adrienne, and when Bailey comes next month, I know you will be amazing with her, too. You have a helpful attitude and you love working alongside mommy in the kitchen and helping with the laundry. I am so blessed to have you around and above all, I am thankful to be your mama.
As the years go by, there is so much I can't wait to teach you and experience with you. There are so many "firsts" that are still ahead in your life and I am thrilled to know that I'm the one who is responsible for walking through those with you. It excites me when I think how extremely bright your future is!
I love you so much and I praise God for the day He brought you into our lives! You, my sweet daughter, are an amazing blessing to your daddy and me! Happy Birthday, baby.
With all my love,
Mama
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