I'm not a big fan of change, I'll admit. Even when the change is a positive thing (like a new house or a new baby), I still feel sad and uneasy during transitional times. I'm going to have to get over it, though because my world is about to get a little shaken up here in a few months.
I won't be able to go to nursing school unless John goes to the dreaded evening shift. The problem with this is that in the past, I have really, really struggled with John on that shift. He'll be working from 3 in the afternoon to 11 at night. It has its perks... Like John actually sleeping next to me and him not being so tired all the time. However, he'll miss the precious hours of dinnertime and bedtime. I will miss him so very much but I have to remember this is a season in our lives, not forever.
This is what my schedule will look like...
Tuesdays: 8-9:30 (nursing seminar), 9:45-10:45 (nursing discussion)
Wednesdays: 7-2 (Clinical)
Thursdays: 8-9:30 (nursing seminar), 9:45-11:30 (nursing lab)
I will also be taking Human Development II online so that will add to the stress.
The original plan was for John to come home from working overnights (11 P.M. to 7 A.M.) but it takes me 30 minutes to get to the college, provided that there is not traffic. This doesn't include for extra time to find a parking spot and get into the classroom. John gets home right around 7:30 in the mornings now so my morning commute would be stressful. There are also days when he gets late calls and doesn't get home until the afternoon. It's not always predictable. After thinking it through, we decided that him working evenings beats the stresses of him making it home, only to take care of the kids and not sleep.
I am so blessed that I have a wonderful husband who would be willing to sacrifice so much for me. He's not the biggest fan of evenings, either:-( He is so committed to my success and I know that somehow, someway we will make it work together. We always have! Wednesdays will be tough because I won't see him but he also gets Wednesdays off sometimes so it won't be horrible. This is temporary!
After I first got my schedule, I felt really conflicted about all that I'll be laying on John and I told him that I was just going to decline my nursing school offer and scholarship and not go. I meant it, too. I felt selfish messing with our happy family so much. He insisted that I have worked too hard to give up now and that we will get through this. I repeat... My husband is amazing!!
So now that we've figured things out and I've had time to process, I'm really excited! I think that this will all work out in the end and I will always, always be happy I stuck it out. I keep reminding myself that, "anything worth having, is worth working hard for."
