Saturday, February 27, 2010

9 Months!

My sweet baby girl is 9 months old today! These past months have been amazing and I love how each day Adrienne is blossoming more and more. I truly cannot imagine life without her in it!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Snowed In

It's snowing cats and dogs out there. Oh my goodness! It started snowing at about 10 last night and it is not expected to stop until sometime tomorrow. We probably have 10 inches or more out there right now but apparently tonight will be where we get the majority of our snowfall. The wind is supposed to be extremely strong and they're expecting power outages all over the place. Our lights have flickered a couple of times and I'm hoping and praying that we don't lose our power!

The girls and I had a really nice day at home today! We just bummed around in our "house clothes" (as I like to call them) and played with dolls, read books, and played games. We also did quite a bit of cooking, which was great! We made homemade sauce for rigatoni that we stuffed and baked and then for dessert we made Ina Garten's brownie pudding with vanilla ice cream! Yummy! We also snacked on my buffalo chicken dip so yeah, I kind of threw the diet out the window. Some days are worth it though!

We had our share of disappointments today. John works nights but he was scheduled for training tomorrow during the day so he was going to be home to sleep tonight. He was going to wake up at around 12:30 this afternoon so he would be tired enough to sleep tonight but they called him at 11 to tell him that his training was cancelled tomorrow so he had to work tonight instead. We were bummed:-( We were excited to have the afternoon together and then to have him out of the snow tonight but NO. We were also really bummed because every Thursday he does overtime at the county's mental healthy building (from 5-8:30) and we just KNEW they would close but they didn't. He drove there on the awful roads and everybody went home but he still had to stay because the doors are on a timer and don't close until 8. RIDICULOUS! So yeah, we were expecting to have all of this time together but we barely got an hour. Such is life, I guess.

I hate the snow and the cold weather but some days it's nice to have an excuse to do absolutely nothing and to go nowhere. It was kind of a long day for me because John wasn't around but the girls really had a blast playing their hearts' content. I had a nice day but I sure hope we get out tomorrow!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Girls

We have had so much going on over the last couple of days so I thought I would just give a random update on my precious girls:

Adrienne-

On top of being the most content and easy-going baby, Adrienne also sleeps through the night religiously... So we knew something was up with her when she screamed for most of Sunday and was then up crying hysterically from 11-2:30 in the morning. She was pitiful:-( She has been dealing with a cold and I knew that was making her feel yucky but she was also grabbing at her ear. I took her to the doctor on Monday morning and sure enough, she has a nasty ear infection. I felt so bad for her to think that she had been in that much discomfort! This is her first ear infection in almost 9 months and I'm really happy that we've managed to steer clear of them thus far. She's on an antibiotic and is improving but she's still a little on the fussy side. I want my happy, smiley Adrienne back and NOW!

In other Adrienne news, she has really blossomed lately. She is EVERYWHERE and into everything. She still doesn't crawl on her knees but she certainly doesn't let that slow her down! She now knows up to open drawers and get into things so she's at that age where you can't take your eyes off of her. She also loves to stand holding onto something and she's even starting to creep a little bit. Watch out world! She keeps me on my toes!

Brooke-

We have big news... Brookie graduated into the next biggest class at gymnastics. This was an enormous feat for her because when we first started going in September of last year, she wouldn't try a single thing and was afraid of everything. She just recently started talking to the teacher because she really depended on me... Too much, actually. The class she just moved up to is for 3-5 year olds and I was going to initially keep her in the younger class just because she's so timid. However, we learned today that the best thing we could have ever done for her was to move her up! She excelled and she did things for the teacher that she would have never, in a million years, done for me! She looked so tiny with all of those big kids and watching her go all by herself kind of broke by heart. It was really a big step for her though and I'm so proud of her latest achievement!

I think that just about sums up the latest. Oh yes, and I will add that I love my girls so VERY, VERY much:-)

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

How About Some RESPECT??

When you go to the grocery store and the cashier checks you out, do you scream at her? Or how about when you're going out to eat... Do you harass the server who delivers your food to you? Do you flip out on the doctor who writes you a prescription or swear at the mechanic who does your oil change? Plain and simple... NO, you most likely don't. So, here's my question? Why do people treat police officers with such total disrespect when they are only doing their jobs? I just don't get it.

I know, being pulled over is not fun. I realize that it stinks to encounter a cop because it usually means that you're either in trouble or you're going to get a ticket. Do you know what, though? It's completely avoidable! When I used to work I would hear from people, "Your husband wrote my mom a ticket. Jerk!" Like I'm supposed to apologize to you that my husband was DOING HIS JOB??????? I just don't get people. I tell people like that to not complain when the cop doesn't get there fast enough the next time they're in need of emergent help. Don't criticize their job when you're in the wrong if you're not willing to give up on their help all together.

It just amazes me how poorly John is treated while at work and it ticks me off. He's been called every name in the book, which to me, is completely unheard of to talk to a law enforcement agent like that. Just the other night he had a man throw his license at him when he asked for it. What kind of loser does that? Even worse, he once gave an ER nurse a ticket and she told him that she hoped he was never brought in for a critical injury because she wouldn't help save his life. UNBELIEVABLE! People, in general, are argumentative and rude to John.

I hate how the majority of our society considers cops to be "dirty" or abusive of their power. Many cops are those things and it stinks but many doctors, lawyers, contractors, waitresses, you name it... have inappropriate practices in regards to their careers. You don't hear people saying, "Oh, your dad's a contractor? I can't stand contractors. They're such jerks." It seems like only police officers are grouped into such a broad negative field like that.

Another thing that people don't understand is that police officers risk their lives upon every single vehicle check. The standard American grows immune to the fact that they see cops on the side of the road but they don't truly know what that entails for that officer's life. The fact that John works nights worries me more because most people that are out at night are a little more shady and also, the visibility is obviously not as good as it is during the day. Of course they are going to be suspicious of people they're pulling over... Especially when they have been in potentially life altering situations like John has, along with most other cops. Excuse them if they are not interested in shooting the breeze or chatting about the weather with you.

I know that some cops are gruff and they can be intimidating. It's frustrating and I realize that it's bothersome because I hate that feeling also, but that is NO reason to swear at, harass, or disrespect them and it most certainly not justification to harm them. People these days, I TELL YA!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

"You Make Me Smile"

Remember good old Uncle Kracker from like a million years ago? Well he's back (Or maybe he actually never went away but I'm just too lame to know it) and he has this new song out that I LOVE. The words are really sweet and the music is even better! Enjoy...

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Friday, February 19, 2010

Little Sponge

Sometimes I forget that Brooke picks up on everything... and I do mean everything... that I say. I am daily reminded of how I should chose my words carefully knowing that I have little ears listening. Her speech is a mirror of my own speech and I have to really focus on that!

I don't use foul language and luckily I never have so it's not like I have a habit to break. It's those innocent words that I say like "freaking" or "crap" or "sucks" that I don't really think sound very nice coming out of my three year old's mouth! I say "freaking" the most probably like "Wow, it's freaking cold out here." I never really thought of the influence it had over Brooke until she came up to me the other day and said, "Mommy, do we have to go make my freaking bed." YIKES! I wanted to hide under a rock. I felt so embarrassed that she had picked up on that less-than-ideal word. I had to explain to her that even though I had said it before that it still wasn't a nice word and we both need to work on not saying it. Crisis averted!

She also picks up on the good things! I often call her "honey" and now she has taken to calling us that, as well. She said to John the other day, "Honey, would you please get my toy from under the couch." Lol! This afternoon she said to me, "Honey, can you get me a tissue, please?" Even though it's so sweet and funny that she calls us by this name, it's not really the most respectful of terms for her parents so I keep telling her that it's a nice word that I just use for her. She cracks me up!

More than what I say, I think that Brooke also picks up on how I say things. She is going to notice if I'm short with her (which unfortunately, I sometimes am after answering 72 questions in a row), if I raise my voice, if I am sarcastic. The way she speaks to others will greatly depend on how I talk to her and how she hears me talking to others, mainly John. I saw this reflected the other day in how she talked to Adrienne. She was headed towards something that she wasn't supposed to have and Brooke said, "No, no sweetie. That will hurt you!" She said it so gently and so lovingly and I was kind of proud because that's exactly what I would have said!

Sometimes it's hard to be continually accountable to a small child for how I speak, I'll admit! Molding and shaping her into a Godly young woman is actually requiring quite a bit of growth on my end. Who would have thought?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Desires of My Heart

There's an awesome verse in the Bible that say, "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) Now that doesn't mean that God is some cosmic genie and that we can just snap our fingers and have our every wish granted. It does mean, however, that if our joy is truly in Him and we are completely locked in to His will for our lives then what we desire is going to be what He desires. Pretty cool thought, huh?

I bring this up mainly because I have some heavy stuff on my heart these days. I know so many pregnant women right now...I could probably spout off 15 names between the women I see on a regular basis and women that are old acquaintances that I talk to on Facebook. I wouldn't ever say that I was "jealous" of these women because I am so happy for each and every one of them... And I do say that with all sincerity. I just have this deep longing to be pregnant again and the timing is NOT right, nor will it be for a long time to come. Not only does my doctor suggest waiting 12-18 months after a C-Section to become pregnant again, but it's overall way too soon for us to have another baby. Brooke was 20 months old when we got pregnant with Adrienne and that timing was great. Seeing as how Adrienne is 8 months old now, that's over a year from now! Even though I know that now isn't our time, seeing all of these women show up pregnant is surprisingly making me feel kind of... Empty. It's a horrible thing to say, I realize. I have two beautiful daughters and an amazing life!

John and I had a long talk and as usual, I felt so much better after spilling my seemingly irrational thoughts to him. He was amazing and told me what I needed to hear. He said that when we have another baby we will be so happy that waited until the timing was right for OUR family and that none of these feelings will matter anymore when it's our turn again. Isn't that so true? When we hold that baby one day, THAT will be the best timing for us and in that moment, we will want nothing other than that.

I have been praying that God would help me to be content in the waiting. I want to enjoy precious moments with the girls and not wish the year away until we think about having another baby. I truly want my desires to be God's desires and right now, having another baby to scratch my "baby itch" would not be the best things for us. I keep focusing on the fact that if our family never grew again, our family life would still be beyond incredible with the children that God has given us already. We are blessed beyond measure!

I think another thing that kind of gets to me is that there will be a day when I will be done having babies and seeing pregnant women then will REALLY bring up these emotions. I obviously can't keep having babies because I love being pregnant or because I want to "keep up" or because I have a case of baby fever. When we officially "call it quits," I hope to be fully content with that decision. Ya know what though? I don't think that I'll ever get past the amazing experience of bringing new life into the world. As a woman, I think that it's something that I will always desire.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Happy Birthday, Brookie!

Dearest Brooke,

It is so hard to believe that exactly three years ago from today you were placed in my arms for the first time. From that moment on, I have been striving to put your needs over mine and to place your desires over my own. Sometimes I fail miserably, Baby, but I promise you that I always try to consider you over myself. I do this happily out of love for you. Your life and truly changed mine forever.

I love the way you see the world with such enthusiasm and excitement. It has truly inspired me to do the same! It takes so little to make you happy and you are amazed at the small things like stickers, baby dolls, mac and cheese, and Big Bird. You light up with joy so easily and I hope that this part of you never changes.

You are such a "girly" girl in every sense of the word! You carry your little purse with you wherever we go, you love wearing stick-on earrings, you always make a big fuss over your shoes and your hair, and you absolutely hate to be messy. I can't help but laugh when I watch you because you remind me so much of myself! I love having you as my daughter and that I get to share my love of all things dainty and pretty with you. You are so much fun!

It seems like we cannot leave the house without hearing from someone how beautiful you are. As my mom always said, though, "Pretty is as pretty does," and you are more beautiful on the inside than words could ever express! You are kind and gentle with your baby sister. You share nicely with others (most of the time!) and are considerate of them. You are always very thankful and polite and I rarely have to remind you to use your manners. When I am sad, you give me a hug and cheer me up. You are always very helpful and when you make a mess, you are sure to clean it up. Who you are is just incredible and I am so proud that you are my daughter! I am thankful that God chose me to be your mommy!

Happy 3rd Birthday, my sweet Brooke. Never, ever forget how special and loved you are. I look forward to the new challenges and adventures that we will face together over this next year. Being your mommy is a true joy!

With All My Heart,

Mommy

Friday, February 12, 2010

Love and Marriage

I talk a lot about how much I love being called "mommy." It's amazing and wonderful in every way and that title is a precious one! I fail, however, to mention just how much I love being called John's wife. "Wife" implies so much... That I'm HIS, that we're linked for life, and that he chose me. What an honor!

I love taking care of my husband. I know that sounds old fashioned and so perpendicular to the many feminist views that are out there but it's the honest truth. I enjoy serving my husband and tending to the needs of our household so that he can more easily focus on being a provider for us. This was all going through my head last night, especially, when John was working overtime and got home around 8:30. I had just finished putting Brooke to bed when he called me to tell me that he was on his way home. I hadn't stopped all day but I knew John was going to be starving so I quickly threw together a meal of shrimp scampi pasta. Watching him come in the house and have a nice hearty meal just put a smile on my face. At that moment, I thought to myself how much I love being his wife! I love to make him happy and I love, love, love to take extra measures him to show him that he a number one priority in my life.

Yes, I love that John can count on me when he needs creases in his work shirts or when he needs something laundered or ironed. I love that he can ask me to cook for a party or a gathering and not have to worry about it again. I get a huge sense of pride when I can help him in any way. And ya know what, he genuinely appreciates all of my efforts to make him happy and he demands nothing from me.

I don't want you to get the picture of John sitting on the couch all day, screaming at me for a soda, and then me coming in with an apron and a smile on my face to deliver it to him. Lol! That is most certainly NOT my man! He is the exact opposite, in fact... He's helpful and tidy and constantly seeking ways to lighten my load. He came home this morning and did the dishes that were in the sink before going to bed for the day. What a man! He's my right-hand-man and is always there to help and support me in any way that he possibly can! On top of that, he's an incredible daddy, which makes my role as mom so much easier. Mostly though, he's my best friend and being with him just makes me feel at ease. We genuinely love to be with one another.

I think that all of the views of feminism are stemmed from the incorrect thought that women have to become doormats to serve men. That couldn't be farther from the truth! I submit to John and he has my utmost respect, but I am by no means a "Stepford Wife" who asks "How high?" when told to jump! I've once heard it described as a cycle... If John loves and values me, in return I'm going to be fueled up to honor and respect him. If he feels honored and respected, he's going to naturally make me loved and valued. On and on it goes. Even though there are times when we fail and don't give each other what we need, love is a choice, not simply an emotion, and we need to choose to press through those times for the good of one another. I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying we've got it mastered. Trust me on that one! :-)

I don't mind being called "the weaker vessel" and I don't mind relying on a man to take care of me. I'm sick of society making that seem like such a horrible thing! I'm an old fashioned, traditional wife and PROUD OF IT!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Two Parties!!

My dearest Brooke is going to be 3 on Monday. How can that even be possible? It seems like just yesterday that I was anxiously awaiting her arrival, not knowing just how much her life would change mine. I could cry!! I'm a sap though:-)

Anyways, it's hilarious because we're having 2 parties for her.. One for our large family on Saturday night (two days before her birthday) and then another one at Chuck E. Cheese for a few of her little friends on her actual birthday. Because she doesn't need a single thing, our gift to her is mainly her Chuck E. Cheese party and she's so excited! Our days are filled with many, many questions about her parties... "Who's going to be there?" "And why am I having two parties?" "What color will my cake be?" It's so precious to watch her glow with excitement so I'm going to be pretty sad when her birthday is over and done with.

On Saturday night Brooke requested that we have soup (her favorite) so my mother-in-law is making a huge pot of her amazing chicken noodle soup. I'm also getting all kinds of chips and sandwich stuff so it will be nice. Then, John's aunt is making her a (Drum roll, please!)..... BIG BIRD CAKE!!!!!!!! She is most excited about that and you better believe that we hear about it constantly!

The verdict is still out on what we'll be having for dessert at Chuck E. Cheese. First she wanted to buy cupcakes at Sam's Club (because we saw some pretty Elmo cupcakes there), then she wanted to make them with me, and now she says she wants a pink and yellow cake. Oh Brooke, make up your mind!! Lol! I'm not so worried about the details because I know that she'll be thrilled to death and grateful for whatever we do for her. She's just that kind of a girl!

My mother-in-law got Brooke the most adorable YELLOW outfit to wear to her family party on Saturday night. She is going to FLIP when she sees it! Check it out:







For the Chuck E. Cheese party, my mom ordered her this:



I think we'll party in fashion, don't you??

Each day is a cause to celebrate Brooke and the miracle of who she is but I'm especially excited to give her an amazing birthday. I can't wait to watch those big blue eyes of hers as they take it all in! Being a mommy is the best:-)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Take Nothing for Granted

We were hit with a nasty snowstorm here in the wonderful North East. Winters are so long, hard and at times, treacherous. It's awful! We woke up to snow covered roads that looked absolutely awful and I was thankful that we didn't have to go out today.

Before I could get out of bed, I heard my phone beeping to tell me that I got a text message. Still extremely groggy, I read the message from my mom that told me she had been in an accident and that she was going to the hospital for observation. My heart stopped. She drives about 30 minutes to work each day and in New York winters, that's no small feat. Each day that we are hit with snow (which is often), I worry sick about her traveling to and from work and that message from her was one of my worst fears.

I figured that because my mom was able to text message me that she was in dire straights but I was still feeling sick inside. After talking to her, I got the full story... She lost control of her car on the highway and spun around. She looked up and saw a tractor trailer heading straight for her and she said to herself, "I'm going to die today." However, at the last second, the truck swerved and only swiped her car instead of colliding with her head on. The cop who handled it told her that she was very lucky because the truck driver didn't have to get out of her way because the impact would have been minimal to him but the fact that he did saved her life. I beg to differ.. The hand of God is what saved her life. She walked away from that accident with a major headache (because her head broke the window) and just feeling sore all over... No broken bones or anything else. Amazing.

Today could have potentially been the worst day of my life. If things had gone just slightly different, my mom would not be alive anymore. It's a sobering thought to think that the woman who I call multiple times a day for advice, encouragement, and wisdom could have disappeared from my life so quickly. My girls could have lost the grandmother that they love so dearly. My dad could have lost the woman who is everything to him. She wears so many hats and means so much to so many people and I'm honestly not sure how we would have all gone on with her. She is truly the glue of our family.

I pray continually that God will protect my mom as she drives to work everyday and today, I saw my prayers answered. How he protected my mom was truly a miracle and I praise Him for how he carried her through. I like to say that my faith is strong enough that I would be praising Him even if the circumstance was worse, but thankfully I don't have to think about that right now.

Take nothing for granted, folks. Life is so short. It takes a blink of an eye to have everything taken from you or for you to lose your life. Live every second to the fullest and don't waste the little time you have on this earth. Do you know where you're spending eternity?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Overwhelmed

I just need to sit down and take a deep breath. HOLY COW! I feel this constant tug to be doing something...anything... that I'm feeling a sense of frustration within myself that I don't want to be feeling! It's okay to sit still and take a break from time-to-time!

The last few days have been great... But busy. Tonight is the last night of John's 3-day-weekend (he took Superbowl Sunday off so that was his extra day). We threw a party and that created all kinds of housework and cooking for me, which is wonderful, I don't mind. However, the aftermath is never fun. I still feel behind from that alone.

I have lost 14 pounds since January 1St and while I feel great and have so much more confidence in my appearance (and people are even noticing!), it has come at a price... There is NO catch up time for me because I exercise while the girls take their naps. I am always at war with myself over what I should be doing and no matter what I do, I feel guilty. If I'm cleaning, I feel like the girls are missing out on quality time with me. If I'm playing with the girls, the laundry and housework around me just drives me crazy. The time that I'm now devoting to exercise was once devoted to the house and I'm not quite adjusted to that. So, yeah, I'm overwhelmed. I just need to slow down and realize that a messy house isn't the end of the world!

John's wonderful... He's giving the girls a bath so I can take a breather. It feels GREAT, let me tell ya! However, I think I'm going to go do some laundry. Figures, huh? It won't always be quite this hard!! :-)

Friday, February 5, 2010

More on Blog Security...

Thanks for all of the feedback on my last post! I want to go private to have the freedom to blog openly about my feelings and issues that are more sensitive but I don't want to miss out on having new readers. It's a tough line, isn't it?

The more and more about think about my security, I become freaked out. John has to wear our last name on his name tag (Obviously) and I just think it stinks for criminals to be able to know it. Maybe I'm being stupid, but I think it would be much safer for our family if he only had to wear his badge number or something. It's a sick world, ya know? When we put up our new mailbox I wanted to write our last name on it to help identify our house but I wasn't able to because of the increased risk. Little things like that just really stink.

John's brother works in the jail around here and he has had criminals threaten to harm John. Sure, many of them are angry/drunk/high and just going crazy, but it scares me, nonetheless. Even worse, direct threats have been made to John regarding him and our family. People are such lowlifes. Cops should be respected and not have to worry about such crap for DOING THEIR JOB.

I'm not sure if anyone remembers or not, but we had our trash cans burned in April. Thankfully it was a night that John was off and we were up super late. We noticed something outside around 1 in the morning and looked outside to see our trash cans totally up engulfed flames in our front lawn. I am so thankful that we were able to catch it because the fire would have spread. I'm sure of it. It was really scary and stuff like that doesn't really help to put a mind at ease... Especially since I stay home alone most nights!

With all of the risks being stated, I still don't think that I'm putting my family in danger by blogging because I never state our last name, our location is never mentioned (except for generally), and I never show pictures of John in his uniform. Am I naive to think that all of those precautions will keep us safe? Is it possible to separate our real life from our "cyber" life?

On top of security, I was also worried about gossiping people reading my blog. However, as someone pointed out, if you're that miserable about your own life that you have to spread garbage around about my family and me, you're not worth the trouble. That's easy to say but it's hard to truly get to the point where hurtful words of other people don't get the best of you.

So, for now, I'm still public. If I choose to make my blog private (which I quite possibly will), I'll let the blogging world know so I can invite you all to read it. Thanks again for the input, everyone!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Going Private?

So, I installed something called Google Analytics on my blog and I have been amazed at the crazy amounts of hits I get. Also, I discovered that people from foreign countries read my blog. I think that's so weird... I don't find myself to be all that interesting!

I like that people read my blog. I think it's cool to "meet" new people and to be able to share my thoughts. I'll admit, though, it kind of bothers me that the number of comments I get don't even compete with the number of readers I supposedly have. If you're reading this, leave me a comment! I promise I don't bite:-)

I started my blog for my own personal thoughts.. To record them, to get them out, for enjoyment... But I'm finding myself becoming more and more inhibited as to what I write because of all of the various people that read it. Something tells me that that defeats the purpose? I don't know, maybe it doesn't? I think I'm also paranoid because John has had criminals "threaten" to harm his family so I'm semi-paranoid. It just comes with the territory, I guess!

In addition, there's an individual who spreads gossip and slander about my family and me (and every other breathing creature) and I don't really want to fuel her conversations anymore. You can completely cut off communication with negative, poisonous people all you want but when they can read your thoughts whenever they want, it's kind of hard to not give them a foothold into your life.

So, that leaves me with this question, how do I make my blog less accessible to people? Can I password protect this and if I do, how do I go about only allowing certain people to view it? I'm not nearly as computer savvy as I would like to be! My biggest hangup with password protecting my blog is that I don't want to miss out on "meeting" new people. I have talked to a bunch of you police wives out there which has been great and I don't want that all to stop!

Thoughts, anyone??

Oh, and for the record, this is the first post in I can't even tell you how long that didn't include the names, "Brooke," or "Adrienne." WOW!! Lol

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Breastfeeding Issues, Take 2

I failed to mention the other day that Adrienne also bites VERY HARD while nursing. She has 6 teeth and she doesn't just nibble or bite down for a second, she bites as hard as she possibly can and clamps down, refusing to let up. I flick her cheeks, scream (it's kind of a natural reaction, unfortunately), and push her into my breast so she has to come up for air, but she still won't let up instantly.

Adrienne has drawn blood twice in the past 2 days and I'm growing weary. Every time I go to nurse her, I'm apprehensive. Just when she gets latched on and I sit back and relax, that's when she bites. It is the most awful pain ever and I have scars to prove it.

Do any of you nursing mamas have any tips for me? I consider myself to be very knowledgeable with breastfeeding but this one has me stumped. I sure hope that it's just a phase and that nursing turns into something beautiful and relaxing again... And SOON!