Friday, February 12, 2010

Love and Marriage

I talk a lot about how much I love being called "mommy." It's amazing and wonderful in every way and that title is a precious one! I fail, however, to mention just how much I love being called John's wife. "Wife" implies so much... That I'm HIS, that we're linked for life, and that he chose me. What an honor!

I love taking care of my husband. I know that sounds old fashioned and so perpendicular to the many feminist views that are out there but it's the honest truth. I enjoy serving my husband and tending to the needs of our household so that he can more easily focus on being a provider for us. This was all going through my head last night, especially, when John was working overtime and got home around 8:30. I had just finished putting Brooke to bed when he called me to tell me that he was on his way home. I hadn't stopped all day but I knew John was going to be starving so I quickly threw together a meal of shrimp scampi pasta. Watching him come in the house and have a nice hearty meal just put a smile on my face. At that moment, I thought to myself how much I love being his wife! I love to make him happy and I love, love, love to take extra measures him to show him that he a number one priority in my life.

Yes, I love that John can count on me when he needs creases in his work shirts or when he needs something laundered or ironed. I love that he can ask me to cook for a party or a gathering and not have to worry about it again. I get a huge sense of pride when I can help him in any way. And ya know what, he genuinely appreciates all of my efforts to make him happy and he demands nothing from me.

I don't want you to get the picture of John sitting on the couch all day, screaming at me for a soda, and then me coming in with an apron and a smile on my face to deliver it to him. Lol! That is most certainly NOT my man! He is the exact opposite, in fact... He's helpful and tidy and constantly seeking ways to lighten my load. He came home this morning and did the dishes that were in the sink before going to bed for the day. What a man! He's my right-hand-man and is always there to help and support me in any way that he possibly can! On top of that, he's an incredible daddy, which makes my role as mom so much easier. Mostly though, he's my best friend and being with him just makes me feel at ease. We genuinely love to be with one another.

I think that all of the views of feminism are stemmed from the incorrect thought that women have to become doormats to serve men. That couldn't be farther from the truth! I submit to John and he has my utmost respect, but I am by no means a "Stepford Wife" who asks "How high?" when told to jump! I've once heard it described as a cycle... If John loves and values me, in return I'm going to be fueled up to honor and respect him. If he feels honored and respected, he's going to naturally make me loved and valued. On and on it goes. Even though there are times when we fail and don't give each other what we need, love is a choice, not simply an emotion, and we need to choose to press through those times for the good of one another. I'm not saying it's easy and I'm not saying we've got it mastered. Trust me on that one! :-)

I don't mind being called "the weaker vessel" and I don't mind relying on a man to take care of me. I'm sick of society making that seem like such a horrible thing! I'm an old fashioned, traditional wife and PROUD OF IT!


mrsofficer said...

GOOD for you girl! And well you should be proud. We all know marriage is never fifty fifty or equal. We have our roles we naturally get into. I always tell people who call me mommy homemaker and say they didnt know I was so domestic that I do it outta love and appreciation of what he does. Just like he gets up every morning and deals with what he does at work.And does his own home duties.I know I much rather wash dishes than cut a lawn! LOL Now that im in school he is doing alot more! Some people ignorant enough have been saying he is turning into a sissy and horrible things and you know what I dont make him do a thing! I would still carry more if i had to. He chooses to support me, to do more. Everything we do for each other is outta love and respect.Its reciprocal. No expectations but when your in a good place you just wanna do for one another. I dont know about you but I love nothing more than putting a smile on my mans face, that look you know they give, melts me. SO enjoy doing what you do in your relationship, its only problem when you find it a problem, it NEVER matters what people think, EVER! He married and chose you and vice versa...Have a Happy Valentines girl , sounds like you alreadyhit the lotto with your man! xoxoxo Michelle

rccalyn said...

Wow, you certainly have a wonderful husband! I try, but I'm NO WHERE NEAR the level of "homemaker" you are! I always say I'm glad I live in the 2000's instead of the 1950's because the expectations for women were through the roof! Guess that makes you a 50's housewife :-P I'm just thankful our world is different and we get to choose to do it that way or our own way - Dan helps out a TON, and does at least half of the cooking around here. Haha.

MrsMonicaLB said...

ahhh what a great post and to be so open and honest about the love for your dh and your marriage is fantastic,you should be proud!
HAPPY Valentines Day!

Simply Complicated said...

I like this post. Thank you for being so honest - I agree with you 100 percent! :-)