Monday, April 25, 2011


All is well with Miss Bailey! We were discharged from the hospital on Friday evening because all of her test results came back fine. All that showed up was reflux... Surprise, surprise! She's on some medicine to help reduce the acid in her stomach and make her vomiting less painful but it won't stop it. Even though the time in the hospital wasn't fun I'm kind of glad we got all the testing done because now I'm not as freaked out by the quantities of throw up that comes out of her little body! Today it was coming out her nose and that might have REALLY sent me over the edge if I was still so worried about things.

We had a wonderful Easter yesterday. I have lots of cute pictures to share but I definitely won't be accomplishing that tonight. While we enjoyed our day it was LONG. Our alarms were set for 6:45 because I had to be at worship practice by 8:30 so we had to do Easter baskets and all that early. We had church and lunch at my parents house, followed immediately by an early dinner with John's side of the family. Talk about a tiring day! It's worth it to be with family and all of that though.

I'm really looking forward to the next couple of days because the weather is supposed to be in the upper 70's!!!! We're supposed to have lots of rain though which will certainly screw up dreams of picnics, cookouts and trips to the park, I'm sure, but we'll take it! My girls are super sick of being cooped up and who in the universe could blame them? This has been an AWFUL winter!

Alrighty, all three girls are in bed so I should go be productive. If I don't do laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer there's just not hope for it so laundry it is. Life will slow down one day, right???

Thursday, April 21, 2011

What A Day!

Today has been eventful, to say the least. As I've mentioned before, Bailey has acid reflux just like her sisters did. She has good days and bad days but last night she was really struggling and up spitting up quite a bit. Spit up for Bailey is more like vomit, not a little dribble from her mouth. Anyways, it was a long night, which is unusual for her, but I assumed that it was just a par for the course. Her struggles continued into this morning, which didn't alarm me, and we went about our day.

About 11 o'clock this morning she started throwing up green stuff. It's the stuff that you throw up when you have absolutely nothing left in your system. It was a massive quantity, which I'm used to, but it was crazy to me that it was green. In all my experience with my reflux babies I was still uncomfortable with it. I called the doctor's office to speak with a nurse, assuming that I was a worrying mother and that she would just reassure me. By the time they called back it was after one and they told me to come right on in so I woke John up and we got here as soon as we could.

After checking her out, the doctor thought she appeared to be dehydrated and sent her down for an ultrasound to check for an intestinal blockage. That all appeared to look okay but because she was vomiting so much after every feeding he decided to admit her. I was shocked... And still am. I expected to go to the doctor for a quick checkup to put my mind at ease and not to be typing from a hospital room tonight.

Once we got settled into our room they poked her 3 times to try to get an IV in but to no avail. It was awful to hear my precious girl screaming so hysterically:-( They decided that they would spare her the pain and administer her reflux medication through her mouth instead and just monitor her extra closely through the night. I'm kind of confused because they were supposed to give her fluids intravenously, hence the IV, but somehow it's okay that they aren't now. I guess they know what they're supposed to do! First thing in the morning they are going to do a barium test followed by an X-Ray that will reveal any abnormalities going on with her digestive system. I'm assuming that it will come back normal and am hoping to be out of here sometime tomorrow. I probably shouldn't bank on that though because it will leave me VERY disappointed if that's not the case.

I hate that my family is separated right now:-( It's so hard. Nobody wants to have a child in the hospital, obviously! So please say a prayer for my princess tonight. She's resting soundly now so I should probably attempt some sleep. Heaven knows I'm in desperate need!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

My Sweet Adrienne

I love all of my children the same... I can honestly say that not one of them has more of my heart than the others. I just love them differently and that's what makes it so much fun!

With that being said, lately Adrienne has been extra near and dear to my heart. I guess I just feel bad for her because she is SO quiet and hardly demands attention. She is also quite the loner. For instance, my sister has a 4.5 year old and a 2 year old and when they come over to play you can often find Brooke playing with them while Adrienne happily does her own thing. She doesn't feel left out... She's thrilled to be in her own quiet little world figuring things out for herself. This same scenario happens around our house all of the time, too. We'll all be hanging out together playing a game or doing a craft and Adrienne will quietly drift into the other room and do her own thing.

Sometimes I'm challenged by Adrienne's quietness. I know that sounds weird but I am SUCH an extroverted people person and dread being alone. If I'm alone, I pick up the phone and call someone because I can't stand to keep my thoughts to myself. Lol. I guess I kind of transfer all of that on to her and assuming she feels that way. Obviously she doesn't, though. It's also hard because Brooke is so bubbly and talkative and keeps me listening and Bailey is a newborn who demands attention... I NEVER want to neglect Adrienne just because she doesn't "ask" for me aknoweldge her. Does that make sense?

It's interesting because underneath her quietness is a silly little girl waiting to be unleashed. That girl has a great since of humor and unless you were to observe her in her comfort zone, you wouldn't realize it. She's also our tough cookie who hardly ever cries, has absolutely NO fear, and rarely gets her feelings hurt. I can kind of see her being our "Tom Boy" because she's always the one to wrestle with her daddy and holy cow, that girl has a great arm. The kid can seriously throw!

I just love that little girl so much and the very thought of her melts me. Her humoungus blue eyes pierce my heart and I can't imagine her any other way than she is!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Life with Three

Let me just say, having three children is A LOT of work! It's definitely rewarding and worth it but there is always something to be done. Just meeting everyone's basic needs keeps me completely busy whether it's getting someone dressed or changed, feeding someone, getting something for someone, etc.. On top of that, there is also tons of housework, laundry and of course, lots of time for reading books to and and playing with the girls. It's no wonder why I feel like crashing every night at 8!

The first couple of days after we brought Bailey home were a little insane but our issues quickly resolved themselves. Taking care of all the girls definitely requires a lot of work, like I just got done saying, but I don't feel overwhelmed by it all anymore. I'm starting to get things down to a science, too, and figuring out the best methods for accomplishing things.

Right now I do miss the time I had to spend with Brooke and Adrienne. Before Bailey was born we would do a lot of baking and cooking together but having a newborn kind of puts baking on the back burner. She doesn't reliably nap anywhere right now so it's hard to start a project only to have to stop 5 minutes into it. I'm savoring these newborn days but at the same time am eager for the days of a more solid routine for Bailey.

I think my biggest struggle is trying to find time for the house. I'll admit, I require that things be very tidy and I feel frustrated if I go to bed with dirty laundry or dishes in the sink. When Bailey sleeps I go into hyper mode and try to get anything and everything done before she wakes up... She's like a ticking time bomb! Lol. While a clean house is wonderful, I think that time could probably be better served with some one-on-one time with Brooke or Adrienne. I spend time with them all day, obviously, but it probably means that much more to them when it's alone for a few minutes. It's just SO tough to keep all of these things in good balance.

Bailey is a VERY content and easy going baby and only cries when she needs something. That has definitely made for an easy transition and I'm so thankful for that! She also is a great little sleeper so I have no complaints whatsoever.

I absolutely love being a mommy to three and I can only imagine that it just gets better from here on out:-)For now, I just want to slow down and enjoy every minute!

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Story of Bailey Quinn

Bailey's birth story really begins on Thursday, March 24Th. We had fun filled day with Brooke and Adrienne, assuming that it would be our last day as a family of 4. We went to Chuck E. Cheese, Cracker Barrel, and the mall and just soaked up the day to the best of our ability. When we got home, however, we got a call from the hospital informing us that my scheduled C-Section would be post posted due to there being so many women in labor. First it was pushed back to 5 P.M the next day (when it was supposed to be at noon) and then it was pushed back until Sunday.. a whole two days later. I was NOT a happy mama!

Sunday morning FINALLY came, despite the fact that I never thought it would arrive! We had dropped the girls off at my parents' house on Saturday night because we had to be at the hospital at 5:30 that morning. When we got to the hospital, they told me that my pulse was super high and asked if I was nervous... Which I was! However, once I hit it off with a really great nurse and settled in I was more at ease than I could remember feeling in a long time. John was amazingly calm, as well, and that was medicine for my soul!

Two hours after arriving at the hospital the nurse told me it was time. 9 months of waiting were about to come to an end! I walked into the freezing cold operating room, leaving John outside until I was completely prepped. The time where I have to part with him is usually when I lose it but I felt surprisingly okay with everything that was about to take place. They administered my spinal, which I hated but it quickly passed. As soon as they laid me down, my blood pressure dropped and I began to throw up and I literally did not stop for the entire surgery. It was awful!

They brought John into room after about 10 minutes and made the incision around 7:40. This being my third C-Section and all, I was expecting to hear a baby's cry within minutes. The other girls were out in minutes but Bailey wasn't delivered until 8:15, and whole 35 minutes later. I began to feel a familiar tugging and pressure and at last, my sweet girl had made her arrival! I'll never forget... "Welcome to the Hotel California" was on the radio at that exact moment. Kind of funny! Anyways, the nurse and doctors were all upbeat and they quickly brought her to me to show me the fruits of my labor. Adrienne was very sick at birth due to some breathing problems related to her having excess fluid in her lungs so I was really anxious that Bailey would follow in that same path. I just knew she was okay, though, because they let me look at her and enjoy her in the OR before sending her out to the nursery with her daddy.

After John left they finished sewing me up and all of that fun stuff. When my doctor pulled the gown down that was blocking my view of all that was going on, I noticed that his shirt was covered in blood, along with his mask. I was freaked out! He went on to tell me that they had encountered some scar tissue and cut into a blood vessel so I had lost about 1000 CC's of blood. My blood pressure was also very low at that point. He said that would monitor me closely and hopefully avoid a blood transfusion down the road. Apparently that is what had taken so long for them to get Bailey. They had to stop the bleeding before they could move on to deliver her. Interesting..

I went back to my room to recover and quickly asked for my phone so I could call my mom. I was so happy at that moment and I couldn't wait to brag about what I had just conquered. Halfway through that conversation, however, John came in the room with an upset look on his face. I remember saying, "NOT AGAIN!" Then he put his arm on me and said, "Yeah, honey, again." My mom was on the other end of the phone so when I hung up with her, she was greatly worried.

Before I knew it, Bailey had a tube in her throat, oxygen on her to help her breathe, and an IV in her arm:-( I had never even held her or really met her and the pediatrician told me that they would have to send her to another hops ital to adequately care for her. I can remember crying so hysterically that my contacts fell out of my eyes with all of the tears. I can't remember ever being so sad. I knew I would not get to be with her at all which was so, so awful as a mother. Adrienne wasn't as sick so they kept her in the hospital with me. It wasn't ideal but at least I could go down the hall in a wheelchair and see her. This was WAY different.

A team of strangers arrived shortly after that and brought my little girl down to my room in an incubator that was all packed to be loaded on the ambulance. They let me hold her for about 60 seconds and then they took her:-( I was in such a fog when they took her but I remember looking at the nurse and saying, "Don't give her formula." And then looking at another man, "You better drive safely." It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Awful, awful.

I was in a tough spot.... Brooke and Adrienne was dressed in the "Big Sister" shirts ready to meet this baby they had heard so much about. My mom broke the news to them gently and when they came to visit me I had to put on a brave face. It was not easy. Shortly after, John and his parents went up to the other hospital with the girls for the day. My mother stayed by my side the entire day and wouldn't leave me... Which I'm so extremely thankful for. I would have otherwise lost it.

The next 2 days were spent with John shuffling back and forth between Bailey and me. I was deeply depressed and while I was motivated to get out of there for the baby, it was also hard to find the strength to get out of bed. The sounds of babies crying down the hall were a constant reminder of what I was missing. I'll never forget that horrible feeling the first time I realized that ALL the baby stuff had been removed from our room.. No cradle or blankets, diapers, or wipes. It was like she was dead. I know that sounds awful but that's how I felt.

It was also very hard because I pumped every two hours for days to encourage my milk to come in. I would pump for twenty minutes on each side and just cry when I looked down and saw no milk in the bottles. That meant that there was no food to send to my baby:-( She ended up having to eat a little of formula which KILLED me but I can't dwell on that.

I was finally released on Tuesday afternoon and I was quickly reunited with my sweet daughter. I can't even express how amazing and emotional that was. She was released from the hospital shortly after we went to pick her up and our new life had began!

There are so many things I could say about this experience... How robbed I felt of my daughter's first days, how depressed I felt, how lonely I was at times or how extremely empty my heart was. I could also mention that not one of my three births have been magical or what I wanted them to be. Those things are all true but the bigger picture is that I watched my husband draw near to the Lord in the midst of it and bring me along with him. He and I had such sweet moments together and I fell even more in love with him. It was incredible. I also was overwhelmed by the love and support from my family.

I feel so blessed because Bailey has been my best nurser, which is something that worried me while she was being formula fed in the NICU. I also have experienced little to no "Baby Blues," which is something I usually really struggle with. God has really taken care of me in these areas and through it all.

No matter how difficult it was getting her here, Bailey is here now and doing great. I suppose that that's really all that matters when it's all said and done!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Reflux... Take 3

Both of my older girls had nasty acid reflux as babies. Brooke's was awful and Adrienne's was bad but better than Brooke's. My mom bought me two packages of burp cloths before Bailey was born and I jokingly told her that I wouldn't be needing them because she wouldn't have reflux. Well, I definitely jinxed myself because here we are again... Cleaning up baby puke all day long. It just breaks my heart!

I'm a little concerned that Bailey might be uncomfortable with all of this. Today she would pull away and scream every time I tried to feed her and it was a constant fight. She drenched me with spit up several times, along with the couch, the floor, her car seat, etc.. I can deal with the throw up but I don't want her to be in any pain. My other girls were "happy spitters" and never acted bothered so I'm hoping that today was just an off day for her as far as the grumpiness and difficulty eating.

I've been down this road three times so by now you would thing I would have it figured out. However, nothing could be farther from the truth! I find myself wondering if I can cut something out of my diet to make my breastmilk easier for her tolerate but I've found no common denominator. I then think back to Brooke's infancy and how me cutting out all dairy, soy, nuts, beef and eggs from diet did nothing to help her spit up. I would do anything to help this go away for Bailey.. I just don't know what the heck to do! It's also unnerving and scary to have a baby who throws up so much because I worry that she'll choke on it. It definitely freaks me out.

Speaking of throw up... A certain baby just woke up in her cradle covered. Time to go clean it up. Poor little princess!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Back to Reality

Tonight is John's first night back to work after two wonderful weeks. We had the best time together as a family and I fell even more in love with my husband. The trials we faced with our plans being switched around and then Bailey being sick and away from us really helped us pull together as a couple. Tough times are never fun in the midst of them but when you can say that you've grown from them it helps put it into perspective.

I'm a little anxious about "flying solo" tomorrow. My incision is still a bit uncomfortable and I don't move around as easily as I would like to. I'm also not supposed to lift anything heavier than the baby, which is a hard rule to follow when you have a 22-month-old who still wants her mommy. Despite dreading John going back in, I think that tomorrow will be good for my confidence. I'm not ready to leave the house on my own but I'll get there eventually. We're definitely staying put for now!

My girls are doing so well and it is truly joy in this mama's heart to watch them all together. Brooke and Adrienne huddle around Bailey and speak sweet words to her and they call her "honey" and "sweetie" just like I do. It's hilarious but precious all at the same time. Adrienne told Bailey today, "I know, Bailey. I know." Haha. I dream of the day when they're older and I can already imagine the bond that will be shared between the three of them. It's so much fun to think about!

It's hard for me to believe that I once thought we had the perfect family without knowing Bailey. I remember seeing those 2 pink lines on the pregnancy test and having my heart beat with fear and shock but now I ask myself what this world would be like without her beautiful face in it. Isn't it amazing how God just opens up our hearts to love each new addition to our family? It's incredible!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Quick Update

I haven't had time to update my blog but I wanted to drop in and let everyone know that we got home Tuesday evening and Bailey is doing great! We had a sweet reunion in the NICU and she nursed like a champ as soon as I tried to feed her. That was a major blessing after the former struggles we had had.

Life with three has been crazy and things seem so chaotic right now. I long for the day when this is "normal" but I know that the crazy pain I'm in is most of my problem.

I feel emotional over the events of this week and how differently I had wanted things to go. I feel so robbed of so much but I have to remember the bigger picture... My healthy and beautiful girlis here!

Thanks for the kind messages and prayers. Hopefully I can get around to blogging every now and then:-)