Sunday, January 31, 2010

Breastfeeding Issues...

From day one, Adrienne was never a good nurser. She had so many latch issues a newborn and it's been so odd parenting her as opposed to Brooke because she is not a comfort nurser like her big sister was. For Brooke, nursing fixed everything and Adrienne could seriously take it or leave it.

Lately I have to fight with Adrienne to get her to nurse and she is so much more interested in eating REAL food than breastfeeding. I know that a lot of that is her age and that she has a growing awareness of the world around her, also. I rarely feed her out of the house anymore because she is just NOT into it and it turns into a game of her pulling peek-a-boo with my nursing cover. It's just a tad bit challenging when I'm trying to be modest!

I feel sad when I think about the strong possibility of Adrienne self-weening in the foreseeable future. Brooke nursed for 23 months (which is something that I'm proud of!) and I loved the relationship we shared as she snuggled in my bed every morning. I have been planning on letting Adrienne nurse until her heart's content, also, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I had to push her to that one year mark... Which is non-negotiable, if you ask me.

Breastfeeding is such an amazing thing. I love how I can be nursing my baby and she just looks up at me and coos. My heart just melts in those moments. I love that she is so dependent on ME and that I give her something that nobody else can give her. It is a bond like none other... Even if Adrienne uses the time more for recreation and less for eating!

Friday, January 29, 2010

4 Years, 8 Months

Wow, I have not been on the computer at all this week, which is weird for me. I hate not writing because it is definitely my therapy. I missed two very important milestones so I guess I can fill you in...

Miss Adrienne turned 8 months old on Wednesday. Where did the time go?? (I say that so often!) She continues to be the world's most easy and content baby and I adore her... Of course:-) She isn't really crawling yet but she's starting to do an army crawl which is a step in the right direction. She just cut her 4 top teeth all at once and unless you knew she was teething, her behavior and sleeping patterns would not have tipped you off. She's completely unbothered by it all. YAY!! Her happy and easy going manner is so awesome and she truly lights up my life. I am one blessed mommy:-)

Yesterday John and I celebrated our 4Th wedding anniversary and we had an incredible date night. We went out to a really quiet (almost forgot what that was!) and romantic dinner at a very fancy restaurant. We got all dressed up and we were thrilled to death to be tucked away in a cozy, candlelit booth all by ourselves. We exchanged cards and remembered back to our wedding day and the past years that we've spent together. I truly could not have asked for a nicer night! If you had told me 4 years ago that I would love John so much more and so much differently than I do today I wouldn't have believed you but it is so true. All that we've weathered as a couple... Two kids, a miscarriage, the purchase of two homes, a new job, and so much more... has really grown us into a couple that leans on and respects one another. I can honestly say that he's my best friend and being married to him is an honor and joy. I am so crazy in love with that man!

Okay, enough sap. Lol! I hope I didn't make any throw up but hey, I just had to share what was on my heart:-)

Speaking of John, he just left for work and it's below zero with the windchill. I feel so bad for the poor guy:-( Hopefully tonight will be slow but I doubt it because there's a full moon and it's Friday. Maybe he'll get lucky?

Alrighty, I'm off to cover up under an enormous pile of blankest and warm up. Come on, Spring, HURRY UP! Winter is rough... Especially in New York.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Joy Overflowing

I confess, I've been a bit bogged down lately. The girls haven't been napping in sync so I get NO time alone during the days, they both have colds, Adrienne is getting 4 teeth, and Brooke is, well, almost 3... enough said! I love my kids and my life so much very much but it's overwhelming to be "on duty" for the ENTIRE day without even a tiny break. When the evenings get here, I feel just completely done for the day, even though there are several hours left of my day.

Fed up with myself and how I was feeling, I really prayed and asked God to give me true joy in raising my daughters. Happiness is when they are napping on the same schedule. Happiness is when they are completely content and well behaved all day. Happiness is when I can steal a few minutes of solitude in the midst of my day. However, I don't want happiness, it's not enough. Joy is when I am at peace even in the midst of the most difficult of difficult days.

Well, I am so proud to say that I am experiencing the joy of the Lord now! I have had a sweet and refreshing day with my two daughters and I feel so wonderful inside. Much of my afternoon was spent playing Candy Land, Memory, and Chutes and Ladders (over and over again) so my housework is far from complete. That's okay though. Adrienne has been extremely grumpy, thanks to a combination of a nasty cold and her teeth coming in, but that, too, is alright. I was placed on this earth to serve God and to follow His will and by raising my children, I am doing just that.

God has been filling my head with thoughts of Him throughout the day and that, my friends, is the only place that TRUE joy comes from. The song that I've been singing an awful lot of lately is, "The Joy of the Lord is My Strength." It's SO true! I have come to determine that staying home is the hardest job in the world but with the joy of the Lord, it can be done and it can even be done well!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

A Few Adrienne Pictures....

Adrienne was so cute today (as usual) and I couldn't resist taking a few pictures of her. Here they are. Enjoy!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For

Brooke has been out of her crib for almost a year now. I can remember countless mornings of her calling, "Mommy, Daddy, I want you," or, "I'm ready to get up!" Each morning I found myself wondering why she wouldn't just get of bed on her own and come see me. However, all of that has changed recently. Miss Brooke now takes it upon herself to get out of her bed and it's not always at the right time...

John and I are fine with her getting up when she's done with her nap or when she's ready to get up for the day. After all, that's what I always wanted, right? On the other hand, we are NOT okay with her getting up two seconds after she goes down for nap and declaring, "I'm all done with my nap now." Yeah, NOT COOL.

Last night she staggered into my room around 3 and I was so tired that I didn't really feel like arguing with her. John was working so it wasn't a huge deal. About fifteen minutes later she had to go potty so of course we got up. Obviously waking up to go to the bathroom is something that cannot always be avoided but coming in to cuddle with me in the middle of the night is not okay.

Another popular game in our house now is that Brooke ALWAYS uses the potty as an excuse to get out of bed when she can't sleep. Each night we take her right before bed but I can't even tell you how many nights she claims to need to use the potty a few minutes after we tuck her in. It is SO frustrating!

So, how in the universe do I help Brooke to differentiate between when it's not acceptable to get out of her bed and when it is? Or maybe she DOES know the difference but she's just taking me for a ride on this? Something tells me that that's probably true. This is uncharted territory for me. Does anyone have any advice?

Monday, January 18, 2010

Finish The Sentence

I'm bored but I have writer's block for some reason so I'm doing this. It looks kind of interesting. Why don't you join me?

Finish the sentences:

1. My last kiss... was at 10:25 tonight when John left for work.

2. I am listening to...Brooke's CD that she has on while she sleeps. She listens to ONE song on repeat all night, believe it or not. After a while, we kind of tone it out!

3. I talk... constantly, too openly, and too often. Lol

4. I love... my little family (as well as my extended family) and of course, Diet Coke. Haha

5. My best friend... is my amazing husband. My best girl friend is my wonderful sister, Alison.

6. My first true love was... My husband.

7. Love is... a beautiful but rare gift from God.

8. Marriage is... two totally different people working together, through the thick and thin, to make one another feel loved and secure. It's amazing, challenging, incredible, and SO worth it!

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking... that they have a big butt. I know I am! HAHA

10. I'll always... depend on my relationship with Jesus Christ to guide me through this life.

11. The last time I really cried was... Friday. John's going through some work related stuff and I feel helpless and sad.

12. My cell phone... SUCKS! I tend to go through them like water so right now I'm using an old one to get me through until September when I'm up for a new contract. Oh the joys...

13. When I wake up in the morning... I hear John coming in from work. He then brings the girls in our room (if they're up) to watch some cartoons.

14. Before I go to bed… I check on the girls, call John, put lotion on, brush my teeth, take my medicine, and watch TV.

15. Right now I am thinking... that I hope John has a good night at work tonight and that he's not too tired (he didn't sleep too well today).

16. Babies are... incredible bundles of joy. They're LOTS of work but so worth it!

17. I get on Myspace... NEVER.

18. Today I miss… being a waitress. Isn't that weird? I just really enjoyed waiting tables and today I was thinking about how much fun I had doing it, not to mention the incredible money. I also miss being pregnant... Big time.

19. Tomorrow... I have nothing to do.

20. I really want to be... a better wife and mommy. My family deserves the best.

That was kind of fun! Try it... You won't be sorry! :-)

Sunday, January 17, 2010


I haven't had a chance to get on the computer the last couple of days because John's been off and we've been busy. Here's an update:

*Brooke has had a strange bug. It started around 4:30 Saturday morning when she woke up with a 104.3 degree fever. We took her to the walk-in that morning because we were just sure that she had an ear infection but everything checked out fine. So weird! Oddly enough, we gave her medicine and she didn't get another fever the rest of the day. Late last night (around 8:30) her fever was slightly elevated so we gave her medicine and sent her to bed. She slept through the night last night and woke up fever-free but John stayed home with her today while I went to play the piano at church just to be safe. I felt so bad because he only gets to go to church twice every 6 weeks so it was a big sacrifice for him. Anyways, apart from being clingy and a tad bit grumpy, Brooke's fine. Isn't that weird? I feel like she gets lots of random fevers.

*Adrienne's top gums are BULGING and I think I can see two teeth just about to pop through. However, she continues to sleep like a champ and she acts like her usual self. She's such a good baby:-) Oh yes, and Adrienne now out-eat her big sister. That girl can eat... Let me tell you!

*We are planning a vacation to Myrtle Beach in early March! March is the time of year when we are just completely fed up with winters in Upstate New York so we're going to plan our vacation for then. We're looking at hotels and condos right now and I'm SO EXCITED!! It's also extra motivation for my weight loss goals!

Other than that, nothing else is new with us. John goes back in to work tonight which stinks but before we know it, he'll be off again!! :-)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Finding that Perfect Balance

I don't know about any of you other moms out there but I have a hard time finding the balance between spending time with the kids and attending to the other affairs of the home. I want my girls to know that I love them and put them first but by folding laundry while they're playing, are they really feeling any less important to me?

I struggle with this issue so much. For the longest time (until recently, actually) I would sit on the floor of the playroom or living room and play, play, play all day and then do all of my housework during the girls' nap time. Now that I am super committed to exercising, nap time is pretty much booked. Now I kind of try to scatter the chores throughout our morning while looking after them at the same time.

Brooke is quite the independent player. She could seriously occupy herself for hours on end. Because of that, however, I have to caution myself against not taking as much of an interest in playing with her. Ya know? Sometimes it's easier for me to carry on with what I'm doing than to get involved with something she's happy doing on her own.

Adrienne is the same as Brooke. She is happy to sit in her pile of toys and play. She seriously rarely fusses. She's also as happy as she can be in her Jumperoo but I try to reserve that for when I'm preparing meals so she doesn't get stuck in there too often. I'll usually play with her for a bit but if I have something to do I'll just transfer her into the room that I'm working in.

I tend to feel guilty when I don't devote every waking moment to my kids. It's ridiculous. I know. They are extremely happy, loved and and safe so I'm not sure what it is that makes me feel so bad! I love a clean house but I do NOT put it above my kids but there is also necessary time to get things done, as well.

I think that some alone time is beneficial for them, too. Everyone needs that from time-to-time so I'm not sure why I feel like I have to directly entertain them 24/7!

Does anyone else out there feel like this or am I just really crazy??

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

All Attitude

Brooke continues to be a total drama queen. Everything to her is a HUGE deal and she has one heck of an attitude on her. It's comical because one second she'll be laughing and kissing me and telling me she loves me but in the snap of a finger she is on the floor screaming. I can imagine how pleasant that will be when the hormones kick in. Yikes! This should be giving me a nice preview of her teen years. Lol

Most of the issues we have are basically over her willfulness. As I've said before, she likes to have things done her way and in her timetable. It's my job to teach her that that's just not how life works and it's not very easy! Even though it would be easier for me just to let her do her own thing I know that I'm only doing her a disservice in the end.

While I was doing the dishes from dinner John had the dog out and Brooke was running back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. I caught her sneaking the dog hand fulls of food behind my back. When I told her to stop doing it she screamed, "NO! I won't!" Then, she shoved the dog food IN HER MOUTH. I mean seriously, how do you not laugh at that? After I disciplined her (which is never fun) and we got settled down from that whole incident, the stupid dog threw up everywhere due to all of that excess food. Who knows how much she gave him! This is my chaotic life for you but somehow, I still love it anyways!

Brooke really is at a fun age so I don't want this post to seem like I'm upset or complaining. I'm just noting that she has an attitude and she knows how to use it! She also is the most affectionate, hilarious, beautiful, and creative little human beings you will every meet. Her attitude just gives her some spunk and I hate to admit it, but she's A LOT like me. I guess I had it coming, huh??!??! :-)

We really had a more difficult day today but that's what motherhood is all about... Some days are easy, many days are hard, but regardless, my daughters are an amazing source of joy for me. I am confident that tomorrow will be a new day and if it's not, there's the next day!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Taking Care of ME

As a wife and mommy, I tend to focus very, very little on my wants and often my needs. My girls come first and taking care of them is more important than anything on my own personal agenda. On top of them, I of course have this big house to clean, meals to cook, laundry to do, and a husband to take care of! I LOVE my life and I wouldn't trade my duties around this house for anything because it is so rewarding to do what I do. However, I am putting a stake in the ground and taking better care of myself for a change!

The main way that I'm going to implement this change is by sticking to my exercise routine. I seriously love to do aerobics.. It's very challenging but it energizes me, increases my self-esteem, and overall, is just so good for my health. I am keeping exercise time sacred and I am going to try so hard to not give in to the temptation to let this go. I had been trying to fit the workouts in during the girls' nap time or getting up before they do but on some days that's just not feasible. John is going to make sure that we reserve some time after he wakes up in the afternoon for me to get my aerobics in. I am so thankful that he values this as much as I do! He's amazing:-)

On top of my renewed commitment to exercise, I am drinking more water (tons of it, actually) and making smarter eating decisions. I'm not going crazy with my diet and jumping off the deep end but I'm working on becoming more healthy. I've lost 8 pounds since the new year and I feel GREAT! I want to lose a little bit more weight and then I'll just work on maintaining my new weight.

I'm not going to be a slave to exercise and even though I'm going to try to be faithful to it, my family comes first. If one of the girls is sick or happens to need me, I'll give it all up. If we aren't home due to another obligation, I'm not going to get upset or feel guilty about taking a day off. This is supposed to be fun, after all!

So wish me luck! It's easy to go full steam ahead with things, only to forget about them a few weeks later. HOPEFULLY that won't be me this time around!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Dream Baby

Adrienne is going on 8 months now and I am continually amazed at how easy of a baby she is. I could go on and on about how content and "low maintenance" she is....

*She continues to sleep through the night for about 13 hours. She goes down around 7each night (wide awake, might I add) and I don't hear from her until 8 the next morning. If we happen to be out of the house around her bedtime, she falls asleep in the car and transfers right into her crib without so much as a peep.

*She takes two naps these days... A two hour nap in the morning and at least a 2 hour nap in the afternoon (sometime up to 3 and half hours). If she happens to miss one of these naps or the nap is cut short, she is really fine and when she's tired, she finds her thumb and goes to sleep, regardless of where she is.

*She loves foods and will eat ANYTHING... Prunes, green beans, peas, you name it. She has yet to gag at one food.

*She got two teeth.. One on December 30th and another on January 1st. They caused no night wakings and very little fussiness.

*She plays happily and socializes constantly. All you have to do is look at her and she smiles.

*She nurses quickly and only for hunger.. Not for comfort. Brooke would have nursed all day long as a baby if I would have let her!

Oddly enough, Adrienne's content nature almost worries me. I spend my days being overly concerned that she's not getting enough attention. I shower her with affection, love, and much quality time but she is just so happy that I don't tote her around the house constantly if I'm trying to vacuum or something. Any mother would say that that's healthy but for some reason I tend to beat myself up over motherhood. Silly me!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I'm not sure why I think it's so cute or why it melts my heart so much but Brooke now has a favorite color and, as you could have guessed by the title, it's yellow. Yellow, really? I kind of assumed that her favorite color would be pink because after all, that's MY favorite color. Lol! Yellow's an okay color but it's certainly not the best one out there, in my opinion.

Brooke got Candy Land for Christmas and she always has to be the yellow guy. It's hilarious because if I ask her if I can be yellow she says, "No Mommy, you may be blue or green.. NOT yellow." Haha! That girl is too funny! She also gets very disappointed if she picks up a card that is any other color than yellow. She says, "But I wanted my favorite color, yellow." She took her love for yellow pretty hard!

All throughout the day she points out things that are yellow. Just the other day at Wal Mart she pointed to a box on the shelf and said, "That box is yellow and it's my favorite color." I guess we can start playing "I Spy" an she would love it.

I think it's so precious that she has a favorite color now because seeing her become more of an individual is the best. Brooke is turning into a little girl who is unique and particular and the transformation is an absolute blast! Have I ever mentioned just how much I LOVE being a mommy? :-)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Here and Now

There is a lot of buzz over babies and pregnancy amongst the women in our church right now. There are a couple of women who are pregnant and even though I know that now is not a good time for another baby, a small part of me aches to be in their shoes. I really can't describe the feeling. It's not jealousy because I am so happy for them but it's more of a mourning for my two pregnancies that so quickly flew by.

I have known that I want another baby since Adrienne was born (despite the terrible birth experience and all). I didn't realize how strong that desire was until recently. I have no clue what our timetable is and our future plans are far from decided on but it's still fun to dream about.

My doctor has encouraged me to not have any more than 3 babies because I have to have C-sections and the more and more you have, the risk goes up. With that being said, the next baby we have will be our last. That fact really, really, really makes me sad. How could it be that these wonderful childbearing years will come to an end with in the foreseeable future? I wish that I had savored my pregnancies more and not wished one second of them away.

This aching that I feel over others having babies is bearable to me now because I know that, most likely, I will experience pregnancy again. However, I have to wonder how much more painful it will feel after our last baby is born. Does this feeling ever go away or is it so ingrained in me to be a mother and have babies that I will always feel the urge for more?

My prayer is that I will learn to be content with the here and now.. Not wanting what I once had and not wanting what is yet to come. For me, it's hard to live in today, even though it's a wonderful time in my life. I know that one day I will look back on these times and wish so badly that I had savored them. I do NOT want to miss out!

Friday, January 1, 2010

10 Goals for 2010

Happy New Year, everyone! I rang in the new year last night by watching House Hunters reruns all alone while John worked and the girls slept. I'm such a party animal, huh? Lol

2009 was a very fulfilling year for my family and me! We spent much of it adjusting to life as a family of four and I have to say, it was such a natural and amazing progression for us. Adrienne has been the most perfect addition to our family and it's so hard to think that she was ever not here. Having two kids has reconfirmed my love for being a stay-at-home-mom. I can honestly say that I am extremely content in my role as a housewife and even though many of my days are spent at home, I am deeply satisfied! I have an incredible husband who works so hard to support us and on top of that, our extended family is out of this world. We are so blessed!

In honor of 2010, here are some goals for the upcoming year:

1. I want to place Jesus as my number one priority. I feel so convicted that I let my spiritual life fall through the cracks when life gets busy and I know that if I'm not putting Him first then I will miss out greatly. I want the flood gates of heaven to be able to pour down on my life and I can't afford to be a "lukewarm" Christian!

2. I want to strengthen my marriage. John and I are blissfully happy and love each other so much but there's always room for improvement! I want to be the best wife I can be.

3. I want to be a better mom. Being the best I can be for my daughters is so important to them and they need and deserve my best. I love those girls so much!

4. I want to actually stick to my diet/exercise plan. I love doing my aerobics but making/finding the time for it is so challenging. I want to find a time that works and faithfully commit to it.

5. I want to be a better planner when it comes to meals in our house. We're always fed but I think that I could save more money and time by planning out our meals ahead of time.

6. I want to spend less and save more.

7. I want to slow down and soak up life more than I do right now. We get so busy sometimes that it's easy to forget to see the beauty in everyday things.

8. I want to take a vacation... Even if it's not to San Diego or Florida (like in years past) and even if it's just for a day or two.

9. I want to become more organized and stop losing/misplacing car keys, my cell phone, my debit card, my license, money, etc.. I'm sick of this!!

10. I want to love more and see others through God's eyes.

I know my goals are lofty and it's easier to talk the talk than to walk the walk but I really do want this upcoming year to be my best year yet! Why can't it be??