Thursday, April 30, 2009

Insanely Active Baby

It amazes me how much my two pregnancies differ from one another! When I was pregnant with Brooke, I rarely felt her move. I don't think that I can recall a time that she woke me up with insanely strong kicks or sharp jabs to the ribs. In fact, towards the end of my pregnancy, Brooke was so still and calm that I actually had to go for a non-stress-test to make sure she was doing okay. Brooke was also a "compliant" baby to carry... If she was poking me in an area that was uncomfortable for me, all I had to do was push on that area of my body and she would pull away from the pressure.

Now.... There's Adrienne!!! Holy cow! This child moves night and day- When I'm walking, when I'm sitting, when I'm lying down, when I'm trying to sleep. Even when she's in one of her calm moments I can still feel her fidgeting and squirming around. Much unlike Brooke, if I push on Adrienne she pushes back and doesn't let my prodding stop her. Lol! It's so odd because my belly is usually moving constantly from her level of activity.

Brooke's level of activity in the womb seemed to carry on into her babyhood. She had to have been the easiest baby to raise... She slept through the night the first night she came home from the hospital, she was almost always content and easy to please, she nursed great from the very beginning, she never went through separation anxiety, etc.. Even now, she is, generally speaking, an easy-going little girl to raise.

I have to ask myself the question- Does Adrienne's difference from Brooke in the womb mean that she'll be a crazy child when she comes out? I shudder to think of what it would mean if that was the truth! Lol! Obviously Adrienne is an individual but I wonder if her behavior in utero is any indicator of who she'll be. I can't wait to see!

Wow, I only have 26 more days of having this baby inside of me. I intend on enjoying every last kick:-)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

"I'm Afraid!"

Miss Brooke has always been a cautious little creature. She takes her time adjusting to new situations, is unsure of new surroundings, and is afraid of most people that she meets. She requires much encouragement when it comes to trying out new things. That's just how my girl is wired!

Lately she has taken on new fears of a whole host of things. The funny thing is that now she talks about her fears constantly. Anytime she doesn't like something or is unsure of something she'll certainly let you know. The latest thing that she is afraid of sitting in the bathtub. I couldn't really tell you why but whenever it's bath time she says, "I'm afraid to sit in the bath." Sure, she's fine once I coax her into sitting but until then it's horrible! Suddenly she's afraid to have rosy cheeks (or blush, for those of you that don't speak my lingo!) put on, to go in public restrooms (because of hand blowers), to walk downstairs in my parent's house, etc... The list goes on and on and I couldn't even tell you why she fears the crazy things that she does!

Brooke has been asking to go to Chuck E. Cheese so today John and I took her. The whole way there she said, "I'm afraid to ride on Barney." "I'm afraid of the slides." She babbled on and on about this too! John decided to break her horrible fear of the indoor play place that they have there and he took her up the slides with him. The poor girl screamed the whole time and refused to even smile when they went down the slide. We really thought that going on the slide would help her to see that she doesn't need to be afraid but it did just the opposite. Oh my!

It's so funny to see Brooke's personality shaping up. She's very timid about things but she has a lot of great qualities that I don't have... She's very persistent and meticulous and will work tirelessly and quietly to figure new things out. Things such as blocks, buckles, books, and puzzles intrigue her and I think that it's because they require her to be analytical. She also is mesmerized by baby dolls and I love watching her pretend to be their mommy. It's really precious! Brooke seems to be the polar opposite of me on so many levels, which is weird, but I love knowing that she's unique and special and just who God intended for her to be! I can't wait to discover more and more about her as she grows! I'm so lucky:-)

Monday, April 27, 2009

Summer Fun on a Spring Day

It was over 90 degrees today. That's just insane! Saturday and Sunday were both sunny and had temperatures in the mid 80's but today was a true scorcher. I feel like we're in the midst of July and it's not even May yet. I am HOT, my feet are swollen, I have NO summer maternity clothes so I'm resigned to jeans, and though I love the hot weather, I look forward to some lower temperatures of around 70 later this week.

John was off today so we have really had a great day of it. We didn't go anywhere today except for the grocery store to get me a HIGHLY desired cantaloupe and some ice cream for John and Brooke. We got lots of landscaping done, John mowed the lawn (though I wish that I could have done it), all my housework and laundry is caught up, and we were able to do a lot of fun things! We cooked out for dinner, went on a long walk, and played outside for most of the day.

I was trying to think of a creative way to cool Brooke down outside so I came up with a fun activity for her: I took two large plastic bowls of cold water and set them in the wagon that was under our covered front porch. I then brought out spoons, small bowls, measuring cups and plastic cups for Brooke to play in the water with. She LOVED it and it kept her busy for a good, long while. Not only were we cool because we were under the porch, but splashing one another really helped us stay cool too! You better believe that I'll be using the method of entertainment A LOT this summer! Here's a goofy picture of Brooke playing in the water...

In other news, today is exactly a month away from my due date. It feels so surreal to know that a month from today I will be loving, nursing, cuddling, and enjoying Adrienne. I have really wanted to savor this pregnancy and not wish it away and I have been doing a great job of that.... BUT, this heat has caused me to get slightly more eager to evict her:-) Soon enough she'll be in my arms!

Okay, I'm off to enjoy a movie with John. What could be better?!??!?!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Adrienne's Coming Home Outfit

We have searched far and wide for the perfect dress for Miss Adrienne to come home from the hospital in. Actually, John has been doing the searching. He picked out Brooke's coming home dress and he was adamant about doing the same for Adrienne too. He's so cute because he knew that it absolutely had to be a dress. I love that guy:-) Anyways, our search ended tonight at Gymboree. Here's what John decided on:

This is the actual dress. In the picture it doesn't look nearly as special as it is in person. I LOVE it!

When John was searching for the dress, he said that he wanted it to have a sweater to go over in case it's chilly when Adrienne comes home. So, here you have it... A matching sweater:

Of course we have to accessorize with a matching headband!

And, last but not least, here are the precious little socks:

I feel SO excited and relieved to have this off of my "to-do" list. I also hope that one day I will be able to express to my girls how precious their daddy was when he picked out their coming home outfits.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Which is Worse?

Brooke has been playing this crazy no napping game for about 3 weeks now. It's very frustrating because I know that she needs to rest but she just refuses to. Luckily she'll stay in her bed and talk and sing so I can still get a little bit of ME time, but the bad news is that she ALWAYS falls asleep in the car if we go somewhere in the evenings and this makes bedtime NOT FUN.

When Brooke doesn't have a good nap she is itching to get to bed around 7:45-8 and she falls asleep almost immediately after going down. The unfortunate other end of the spectrum is that if she actually gets her much needed nap then she will stay in her bed for sometimes up to 2 hours talking and laughing before sleeping.

So, with all of that being said, I'm trying my hardest to figure out what to do about all of this. The first option would be to eliminate her nap time all together but with a new baby coming, I think I would be drunk to do that. The second option is that I put her to bed later (like 9??) but then I'm stealing one of the only quality alone hours that John and I get during the days. Lastly, I could keep everything the same and hope that this no sleeping nonsense is just a phase? What's the answer? I'm really trying to do what's best for my girl here!

I'm ready for all of these irregularities to end so that we can get back into our awesome routine and normal way of doing things. Kids always have to switch things up, don't they?!??!?!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Isn't it amazing how a couple of Spring days can totally erase the long, miserable, horrible winter? We have been having such beautiful weather and it's hard to believe that a few months ago the ground was covered with snow.

The nice weather has enabled me to do a lot of things that I love... Take walks with my family, play with Brooke outside, sit out on the deck and relax, mow the lawn (my favorite!!!), cook out on the grill, eat dinner on the patio, and work garden. I'm also thrilled to hear the birds chirping once again and to be able to open up some windows in my house. Last night John and I worked outside after dinner and as I walked around the yard, I could see all of my perennial flowers coming back to life. Amazing! It's also cool because some of my annuals are even coming back too. What a bonus!

Though the grass has greened up and the Spring flowers such as Tulips and Daffodils are in full bloom, I'll confess, I still thought that it looked depressing outside because the trees were still dead... Until TODAY!!! I woke up and looked out my window and it seriously seemed as if the trees decided to grow overnight. Unbelievable! There is now green on the ends of the branches and it's incredible alive everything looks now. What a sight for sore eyes!

Having lived down south, I really think that Spring means SO much more when you've endured an awful winter, such as the winters that we get in Upstate New York. I, for one, feel so refreshed and renewed each year that Spring faithfully arrives. I am always reminded of God's faithfulness when this special time of year comes because He never fails to send the beautiful weather and he never forgets that my perennials need to come up again. What an awesome God we have!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Reverting Back to Babyhood

Man, I'm fried! Brooke used to be so independent and so seemingly "grown up," but lately, she's been acting like a baby to get my attention. She refuses to feed herself, she won't walk anywhere, especially if we're out of the house, and the list goes on and on. I know she's capable of doing SO much and the fact that she just isn't doing them anymore is a bit disheartening with Adrienne's arrival so close.

Another thing that she has been doing is coming up to me and saying, "Mommy, hold me like a baby." She'll sit in my arms and make baby noises and do this pretend cry. I'm not sure whether or not to play along with her during these times or to discourage it. It's so confusing being a mommy sometimes!

During this recent stage it's been easier for me to just do things for Brooke. If I encourage her to walk or feed herself or whatever, there's a big fight and anyone who has a toddler knows that temper tantrums are to be avoided at all costs. HOWEVER, I also know that I'm doing myself a big disservice by not teaching her to do a few things for herself because with a new baby I won't be able to cater to her every whim.

I'm not trying to make it seem like I want Brooke to be all grown up and that I don't want to do anything for her in light of the new baby. I hope nobody takes this as such a claim. I realize that she's still young and in need of lots of help and guidance. I'm also not trying to make her do something she can't do just yet... I just want to help her realize that there are things she is more than capable of, which will help me out big time!

She has been such a sweet and lovable little girl lately and just being around her gives me so much joy. Oddly enough, she's sleeping like absolute crap... Refusing to nap, lying in her bed wide awake for hours after we put her to bed at nighttime, AND waking up very early. This morning she even woke up with NO diaper on. Fun times. You would think that with all this non-sleeping that she would be a wreck but she's been the exact opposite. So weird.

I just wish I could get into Brooke's head and figure out what the heck she's thinking in there! I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed about how I'll handle a new baby in the midst of this phase but I know that the grace of God will keep me!

Friday, April 17, 2009

33 Week Ultrasound

I had another ultrasound today because, as the doctor said, I "twisted his arm." He said he doesn't do them routinely unless he has a need to but because I asked he would work it out for me.

It was wonderful to see my precious baby girl again:-) First and foremost, we got clarification that she is DEFINITELY a girl. I had thought about fooling everyone and saying that she was a boy but I'm such a bad liar. Lol! Anyways, everything else checked out wonderfully and we even managed to get a really cute 3-D shot. It was hard for the tech to see much of Adrienne's face because she's folded almost completely in half and she has her feet pulled over her chest. Silly girl! We saw lots of hair on her head too so I'm guessing she'll have lots of hair like Brookie did at birth? We'll see in a few short weeks!

This is part that had me all up in a tizzy... The technician provided Adrienne's estimated weight based on her measurements and it said that she's 5 pounds, 15 ounces. HOLY COW! Now THAT is a big baby! I was a bit concerned that she would be like 12 pounds when she came out but when we went to see the doctor he reassured me by telling me that those estimates usually run big. He also felt my belly and guessed that she was more like 5 pounds right about now. He said that she'll probably be a good 8 pound baby plus a couple of ounces, just like Brooke. Phew! I know it sounds silly, but I want her to be tiny for at least a couple of weeks. They get big SO QUICK as it is!

That's the update on my precious little girl. I only have 5 weeks and 6 days until I get to meet her and I am so unbelievably excited for that moment! I'm so blessed:-)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Spring Cleaning

Today has been a wonderful day! John is off, which is always great, but today has been particularly enjoyable because we have just been taking it slow. On John's days off we usually get up and go somewhere and spend most of our day running errands but today we have been working around the house and yard. It's nice to stay close to home sometimes!

This morning I had a major task on my agenda... I had to dice 20 pounds of raw chicken so I could marinate it for chicken Spiedies at church tonight. Talk about work! I usually have help with the church dinners but when there's something that needs to be done ahead of time, yours truly usually does it. Anyways, my kitchen was a WRECK from all of the different bowls and chicken slop so I started my day of cleaning by giving the kitchen an incredibly thorough scrub-down. I then ventured out to the rest of the house where I did all of our laundry, scrubbed the bathroom, did the windows, vacuumed, made beds, dusted, and organized some shelves. Brooke played with her dolls by herself for quite a while and then she had John ran a quick errand. It was nice to have that time to work without interruptions! John also found some time to organize his office, which was in desperate need of some help, so our house is looking very nice right about now! I love cleaning days!

We had really intended to take more advantage of this beautiful, sunny 60 degree day and do some yard work but time has passed far too quickly! We have some major weeding and pruning that needs to be done in the garden that we have just not had time to get to yet. Tomorrow, maybe?

Brooke is supposed to be sleeping now but she's in room singing and talking. It's actually pretty hilarious. What am I going to do with that silly girl?? When she wakes up John is taking her to the park while I go up to the church to make dinner. It should be a nice afternoon for us all!

Alrighty, I'm off to RELAX for a few minutes. All my work is DONE so I can happily sit and enjoy this beautiful day. What a great feeling:-)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

Before I can rant and rave about how wonderful my Easter was, I first need to call attention to the true meaning of the holiday. Each time that I hear the Easter story I am shocked over and over again that Jesus gave up SO much for me. Not only did He give up His life for the sins of all mankind but He also gave up his pride, his entitlement to what's "fair," and His dignity. What He did on that cross for a bunch of sinners is incredible and it's the biggest sacrifice that He could have ever made. Thank you, Jesus, for spilling your blood for my sins so that I can have a hope and a future. Amazing...

We had a wonderful day today! When John got home from work this morning he hid Brooke's Easter basket and then he woke her up so they could find it together. She was elated when she saw an enormous basket filled with all sorts of goodies! She also got a kick out of it being hidden in the kitchen cupboard. Of course it was a bit of struggle pulling her away from her treats in order to get ready for church but somehow I coaxed her into getting dressed!

After a really awesome church service we headed to my parents' house to eat lunch with my family. We scarfed down a delicious lunch and then headed home to pick up John (who had been home sleeping after working last night) so that we could head to his grandma's house for another Easter feast. Let's just say that I'm STUFFED and won't be hungry anytime soon!

At John's grandma's house they had an Easter egg hunt for the kids and Brooke was so hilarious! She loved finding the eggs but she wouldn't pick them up off the ground because she didn't want to get messy. Lol! She's her mama's girl for sure:-) Miss Brooke ended up making $10 off of her Easter eggs and she was very eager to put all of her cash in her piggy bank when we got home.

This is hilarious... There was a pair of white shoes at Target that I fell in love with to go with Brooke's Easter dress, however, when I went back to pick them up they were sold out of Brooke's size. I asked Patty to check another Target for me and sure enough she found the much-wanted patent leather white shoes that I had been searching for. She picked them up Saturday night and the plan was that she was supposed to drop them off to Brooke during Sunday School. Sounds like a pretty reasonable plan, right? Not so much. My mom and my sister, who were both in the nursery this morning, tried repeatedly to put Brooke's new Easter shoes on her and screamed HYSTERICALLY every single time that they made an attempt. They had been in Patty's car and apparently they were cold from being in there overnight so Brooke kept claiming that they were "wet." Long story short, the shoes have not been on Brooke's feet, despite much effort, and I will be taking them back tomorrow. Only MY goofy girl would be petrified of new shoes. Lol! I think that it's hilarious! From this story, I actually learned a lesson... The absence of white shoes on Brooke's feet wasn't the end of the world after all. I insisted that she had them because I thought she "needed" them but the day wasn't any less special because her shoes were brown. Go figure!

Before I close, I have another funny story that I would like to note... I went to the grocery store before church this morning to pick up a bagel for breakfast. I felt something dripping down my leg but figured that maybe I swept by something cold or that it was in my head. I then felt the drip again and again. I looked down at my leg and saw that a fluid was running down it. My heart stopped because I truly, with all my heart, thought that my water had broken. I had a slow leak with Brooke and it was reminiscent of that. All these horrible thoughts of, "It's too early!" ran through my mind and I was sick. Finally, after a second of taking a deep breath, I realized that the stopper in Brooke's sippy cup had dislodged so her milk filled cup was slowly leaking through the bottom of my diaper bag. HAHAHA! I'm such a moron! Lol

Anyways, I hope that everyone enjoyed their Easter as much as my family and I did! Remember that Jesus died for YOU!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Ticked Off and Freaked Out

Last night at about 12:30 John and I were just about ready to go to sleep but for some reason we ended up staying a lot later than that. Around 1:30 John looked out one of the windows in our room and saw that our trashcans were in a blazing fire. I was really scared but the fact that my police officer husband had his gun loaded and ready to go made me feel a lot safer. After searching the house and looking up and down the streets, there was no culprit to be found. We ran outside with buckets and buckets of water and it was apparent that none of our neighbors had had their trashcans touched.

John called one of his friends who was on duty last night and had him circle the neighborhood. Unfortunately he wasn't able to see anyone around who could have been responsible for doing this. I know that he drove by our house many times last night to check on us and for that I am thankful!

Here's the thing... I'm not extremely upset about a $50 trashcan, though it does tick me off because it was fairly new. I'm not really even too angry that my lawn is covered with burnt trash. I am angry, however, that somebody would go out of their way to do that to us and to make us feel threatened. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we had gone to sleep at 12:30 as we had originally intended. That fire could have so easily spread to our house and I don't even like to imagine the consequences of that. It could have been so bad, but thank God that it wasn't.

I'm also struggling because John is usually at work at night. What's the next step? What else will these morons do to scare or intimidate us. I am not equipped to handle things of this magnitude on my own in the middle of the nights. Suddenly, I am fearful of being in my own home alone and the thought of being here tonight without John SICKENS me. I just can't believe that somebody has the power to make me feel like that.

Ya know, I love my neighbors and I would never wish harm on them, but if this had been a village-wide issue then I really wouldn't give it much more thought. Because we were singled out I feel like this was done as an attack on John as a result of him being who he his. John's had criminals threaten him and his family and what's to say that one of them hasn't figured out where he lives? That scares me SO MUCH.

I'm so exhausted due to not getting to bed until after 3, my hair smells like smoke, I'm angry, and I'm just plain old ticked off. This whole situation is just unbelievable.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Less Than 7 Weeks To Go!!

I'm semi-freaking out inside. I'm 32 weeks pregnant today and in less than 7 weeks, Adrienne will be HERE. Amazing! Where in the world has this pregnancy gone? I keep asking that but seriously, time has flown like you cannot even begin to imagine. I can't wait to meet my daughter and I'm eager to incorporate her into our family's life, but right now I'm feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed about the things that need to happen before her big debut. Here's my to-do list....

*Get Adrienne the perfect coming home dress. This is John's special job but the fact that he still hasn't gotten it kills me! We think we found THE dress at Gymboree but we didn't snag it just yet. SOON, hopefully!

*Ah, the nursery hasn't even been started. My dad is going to paint at some point... I sure hope that it's in the very near future! On top of that, we need to replace the disgusting primary colored fan, find some cute window treatments, AND I need to get jumping on her wall letters (which are time consuming). I think that when the baby's room is done I'll feel better but until then, I'm kind of high strung about it.

*I need to figure out something to bring my post-baby body home in. My mom bought me lots of things for after I had Brooke but that was in February and this is May we're talking about. I'll probably roast if I use the same clothes! This task is NOT something I'm looking forward to because who really LOVES buying large clothes to accommodate a big body?

*Adrienne needs clothes. Both my mom and John's mom have both recently gone to the outlet malls and of course the baby was the recipient of many nice outfits. Also, my sister has gotten her many l nice things. Thank you God for family! However, I still think that she needs several more outfits to get her through the summer. John keeps assuring me that she'll have everything she needs but I keep stressing over this too.

*I need to reassemble the baby swing and get batteries for the bouncy seat.

*I'll eventually need to pack us a hospital bag but I obviously still have time to do that.

Those things are all seemingly unimportant things when I think about Brooke's emotions through all of this. I feel like 7 weeks is so little time to prepare her for how this baby will change her life and like I don't have enough weeks left with her alone to fully soak her up. It's hard because even though I'm incredibly happy to have Adrienne joining our family, I still kind of feel bad for Brooke. Brooke is my entire universe and just the thought of her feeling displaced really breaks my heart:-(

I'm sure that I will continue to stress and be concerned about these until that defining moment when my new daughter is placed in my arms. I long for that time to come because I know that when I see her face that I'll realize that none of these silly things were ever that important. Until then, I just need to take a deep breath and enjoy this very special time in the life of my family! Life is too short to stress about everything... Especially about something as wonderful as new life!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Oddities.. Continued, Unfortunately:-(

I am feeling VERY frustrated at the moment. It's 10 PM, John is getting ready to leave for the night and, you guessed it, Brooke is SCREAMING. What in the universe is going on? She's been in bed since 8. That's an awfully long time for her to keep herself awake.

I have recently questioned whether or not Brooke's been getting too much sleep but with John's new schedule I'm positive that that's not the case right now. When John comes home in the morning, around 7:20, she hears him and wakes up. This is WAY earlier than her her usual 9-9:30 mornings that she's been having for the past 3 months or so. So, between waking up lots earlier, coupled with the late, late nights, you would think that this kid would be an absolute terror... WRONG. She has been even better behaved since she started sleeping less and that's why I can't attribute these sleep struggles to pain or sickness.

Today Brooke took a great nap from 1-3:30. That nap is maybe slightly longer than usual but I would guess that she would be a lot sleepier due to her recent sleep regression at night. I'm not ready to cut out her naps because she really needs that sleep in the middle of the day and I need that time also. In addition, I'm not willing to put her to bed much later than 8 because with John being on the night shift, we only get a couple of hours of adult time before he heads out the door.

If I think about all of this I get very stressed. I could worry endlessly about how we'll adjust to this schedule and how it will all work out... Especially after the baby comes. I know that these things will all iron themselves out but in the meantime, I think I might pull my hair out. Luckily John has tomorrow night and Thursday night off and we'll have a short break from the chaos!

Monday, April 6, 2009


I'm not really sure what's going on with my Brookie lately but some things are just off about her. I'm perplexed by some of her recent behaviors and it's killing me that I don't have all of the answers.

First of all, she is not going to sleep easily. We have been putting her down at her normal bedtime, 8, and for the last couple of nights she has fought going to sleep. Sunday night she was up several times before 11 and then she was up screaming hysterically at 3:30 in the morning. Last night she was fine, thankfully, but tonight she screamed/talked/sang/cried for about 2 hours. It's 10 and she is finally sleeping. What the heck???? I would be convinced that she had an ear infection or something but she was the model child today. When Brooke has an ear infection she does NOT act as wonderfully as she did today! I also would suggest that maybe she's cutting her two-year-molars but her gums aren't even swollen. I'm out of guesses here.

As I have said in previous posts, Brooke has now become extremely clingy to me when we're out and about. At home she is her happy, independent, goofy self but all bets are off once we're out. This whole issue makes going to church kind of difficult because she screams for me when I bring her to church nursery. My mom, who Brooke is very, very fond of, is one of her Sunday School teachers and Brooke STILL freaks out. I just don't get it.

Also, Brooke has taken on new fears of things that never bothered her.... For instance, the rides at the mall that she has enjoyed for ages now cause her to scream hysterically at just the sight of them. Why the sudden change of heart? That is just one of many examples.

I'm not really sure what the deal is with my girl but it makes me sad that she's "off." I feel like many of these issues are related to Adrienne, which totally makes sense. I also wonder how much of this pertains to John's new schedule. The transition has sure been difficult just because our lives are so different and I bet Brooke senses all of that.

I hope that I figure out how to make Brooke feel more at ease. It kills me that she's struggling in some areas and I know that this is just a phase but my mommy instinct tells me to FIX it! Any suggestions?

Friday, April 3, 2009

31 Weeks, 1 Day

Here's are some pictures to show my belly's progress. Believe me, I'm feeling larger than life and I don't think anyone could argue that I've gotten HUGE. Lol! I love it though and I'm really, really enjoying being pregnant.

This is me at around 15 weeks... I was MUCH smaller. Wow!

Here's me today... I also got a new haircut this afternoon and I've been lamenting over how ugly it is. What do you think? I'm bummed:-(

Alrighty, off to enjoy dinner with the family. I'm out!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Baby Talk

Brooke talks about her baby sister all the time it seems. Most days she is excited and upbeat about sharing with her sister and loving her, but other days, that are few and far between, are filled with mean, envious conversations about her sister. Either way, it's pretty hilarious to hear her so engrossed in the baby's arrival! Here are some cute conversations:

All about Adrienne's Arrival-

Me: Brookie, are you having a brother or a sister?
B: Baby sister!!!!
Me: What's her name?
B: NOT Suzy!
Me: No? Then what is it?
B: Adrienne Reese D******! (Each word gets louder and louder)
Me: When will she be born?
B: May 27Th. She'll come out at the "ha-sible." (hospital) You'll be there but you actually no be hurt.
Me: You're right! Mommy will be in the hospital but just to take care of Adrienne, not because I'm sick or hurt.
B: I ride the "ele-gator!" (elevator)

Help with Adrienne-

Me: Are you going to help mommy with your sister?
B: Yep!
Me: What will you do to help?
B: Ummm, I give Adrienne a bath, change her diaper, give her a paci, kiss her...
Me: Wow, mommy is going to have such a BIG helper!
B: I'm gonna be a good big sister.
Me: Yes you will! Will you give Adrienne a bottle?
B: No, she'll actually nurse.

We were shopping for some clothes for Adrienne and I said-

Me: Do you like this dress for Adrienne?
B: (Ripping the dress out of my hands) NO! I like it for ME.
Me: Honey, it's way too small for you and you have lots of pretty dresses at home.
B: Adrienne NO wear this. (Followed by tears and a temper tantrum)

Moments like that make me think that she's slightly jealous of her sister already but I know she'll do just fine after some time.

Every time we pass the ice cream store, we have this conversation-

B: Hi ice cream! I go with you sister when it gets "warms" out.
Me: How fun! Can Adrienne have ice cream?
B: NO! It hurts her belly. She no have "frinkles" (sprinkles) or ice cream.

That little girl is so funny! I think I spend most of my days laughing at her because she's this tiny little creature who carries on the most mature conversations with me. She is definitely good company and I cannot wait to see what a wonderful big sister she'll be!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Battle Within

For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you know that something that I have had a really hard time accepting is that I will not be attempting to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with Adrienne. My C-Section with Brooke caused a lot of emotions and guilt on my part and even though I have come to grips with that whole aspect of it, it does not change my desire to try to do things naturally this time around.

My C-Section has been scheduled for May 27Th since late December so you would think that I would not even question the best mode of delivery for Adrienne and that I would be at peace with it. Wrong! I'm truly wrestling inside as the date of the schedule C-Section quickly approaches. One of the things that has always been somewhat reassuring to me is that Adrienne has been in the transverse position, meaning that I would not be able to deliver her naturally even I had wanted to. However, yesterday my doctor notified me that he thinks she has moved to the head down position. Now that I realize that I could try for my much wanted VBAC, I'm DYING inside. I wish that I could just go for it but the doctor doesn't think it's the most prudent decision and I can't help but wonder if I would be foolish to not heed his advice.

Another thing on my mind is an article that I read yesterday in the waiting room at the doctor's office. This lady wrote about how she had a scheduled C-Section with her first baby (because the baby was breech) and when she chose to have a VBAC the next time she said, "Labor is like driving on the freeway at 4:30... something to be avoided." WRONG! Labor is NOT something to avoided... It is a beautiful, natural process that God has intended for the female body to accomplish. There is nothing more empowering and wonderful than being in labor to bring a healthy life into the world. That lady continued to say that she would never suggest a VBAC because it's just too much work to be in labor and I completely disagree. This is going to sound silly, but I feel like when people hear that I'm having a scheduled C-Section that they think it's because I don't want to be in labor or that I'm just lazy and taking the easy way out. I hate that stereotype because that is NOT why I'm doing this dreaded C-Section.

So, with exactly 8 weeks left until Adrienne's birthday, I'm struggling and I shouldn't be. I should be ridiculously excited but my fears and frustrations of this whole surgery are somewhat surpassing the joy. When will I ever come to grips with this???