Ticked Off and Freaked Out

Last night at about 12:30 John and I were just about ready to go to sleep but for some reason we ended up staying a lot later than that. Around 1:30 John looked out one of the windows in our room and saw that our trashcans were in a blazing fire. I was really scared but the fact that my police officer husband had his gun loaded and ready to go made me feel a lot safer. After searching the house and looking up and down the streets, there was no culprit to be found. We ran outside with buckets and buckets of water and it was apparent that none of our neighbors had had their trashcans touched.

John called one of his friends who was on duty last night and had him circle the neighborhood. Unfortunately he wasn't able to see anyone around who could have been responsible for doing this. I know that he drove by our house many times last night to check on us and for that I am thankful!

Here's the thing... I'm not extremely upset about a $50 trashcan, though it does tick me off because it was fairly new. I'm not really even too angry that my lawn is covered with burnt trash. I am angry, however, that somebody would go out of their way to do that to us and to make us feel threatened. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if we had gone to sleep at 12:30 as we had originally intended. That fire could have so easily spread to our house and I don't even like to imagine the consequences of that. It could have been so bad, but thank God that it wasn't.

I'm also struggling because John is usually at work at night. What's the next step? What else will these morons do to scare or intimidate us. I am not equipped to handle things of this magnitude on my own in the middle of the nights. Suddenly, I am fearful of being in my own home alone and the thought of being here tonight without John SICKENS me. I just can't believe that somebody has the power to make me feel like that.

Ya know, I love my neighbors and I would never wish harm on them, but if this had been a village-wide issue then I really wouldn't give it much more thought. Because we were singled out I feel like this was done as an attack on John as a result of him being who he his. John's had criminals threaten him and his family and what's to say that one of them hasn't figured out where he lives? That scares me SO MUCH.

I'm so exhausted due to not getting to bed until after 3, my hair smells like smoke, I'm angry, and I'm just plain old ticked off. This whole situation is just unbelievable.