A Year Ago

It's hard to believe that exactly a year ago from today I found out that I was pregnant with Bailey! I never really had the chance to write about how I found out that incredible news because I didn't want to announce my pregnancy until I was further along so today seems like a good day to tell the story.

It was the week of Vacation Bible School at our church and it was HOT. I remember that John and I had been talking a lot about whether or not we would have a third baby and we had pretty much decided that we would stop at two. Then, on the first day of Bible school we were swarmed with kids and that only added to our feelings of wanting to be done. Lol

I had been feeling a little run down that week but because I was doing all of the cooking for church I thought that that was the culprit. I had another really strange symptom, though... I was dropping EVERYTHING. When I'm pregnant I don't what it is but I always drop and spill things left and right. It was so bad that my friend, Lindsey, who was working with me even noticed how clumsy I was being. I took a Dollar Store pregnancy test that night and got a faint line but decided that it looked more like an evaporation line than a positive and I just brushed it off.

The next day we were at Bible School and I had finished cleaning up the kitchen and needed a few groceries. While John finished doing the games and the girls stayed in their classes I ran out to get those errands out of the way. As I walked by the pregnancy tests on the shelf, they were calling out to me. I couldn't help but buy one just to make sure that the previous test was accurately negative. I got back to church and there was still like an hour left to kill so I went back and forth to the car... One time leaving the pregnancy test in there, another time shoving it in my bag, and so on. I couldn't decide if I really wanted to pee on it at church.

Because I was completely certain that the test would be negative, I went ahead and peed on it in the church bathroom. BIG MISTAKE. It was a First Response pink dye test and when the bright pink line quickly appeared I just about had a heart attack. It was the most unexpected shock of my lifetime, to say the least. We certainly were NOT trying to have a baby!! I could hardly compose myself.

John was outside with the kids and I was shaking. I went out to hug him just to get some type of reassurance or comfort. He said, "Baby, what's wrong?" I said, "Oh nothing... We'll talk later." He got worried... "Jillian, did you lose your debit card again? What's wrong??" I then told him that it was MUCH MORE than that. Lol. And for lack of better words to say, I blurted out, "I'm pregnant." He just held me as I cried and a million kids ran all around the church yard while I melted in his arms.

It's a funny memory to look back on that time. It's not that I didn't think I could handle another baby or not already love the baby that was growing inside of me... I was just shocked. It was a lot to process and definitely a lot to think about. Now that it's all said and done, though, I can't imagine never knowing Bailey's beautiful face. Never having the experience of being pregnant with her. Never knowing the joy of her smile or the music of her laughter. I am so thankful that God added another little life to our family! I'm pretty positive that He won't be doing that again though! Lol