Saturday, December 10, 2011

Hanging By A Thread

This has been a rough week. John and Adrienne got the stomach bug on Thursday. On Friday, Brooke got Pink Eye and Adrienne was running a fever. Then, today, Adrienne caught Brooke's Pink Eye and I suspect that Bailey has an ear infection. It's just been one thing after the other. Nobody has been sleeping great, to top it all off.

We've been couped up due to everyone being sick but there were some things I had to get from the grocery store today. I thought it would be nice to do something fun with the girls so I promised them we could go to McDonald's for a treat after we ran my errands. Once we got the the grocery store I realized that that was a mistake... Bailey screamed uncontrollably the entire time we were there, no matter what I did. It was a pure disaster. Adrienne was grumpy and difficult and that only added insult to injury. It was not easy lugging a screaming baby around while trying to check out and rush out of there. It was horrible.

I wanted so badly to just skip out on my promise of McDonald's but I didn't want to disappoint the girls. So, like any glutton for punishment would do, I continued on. Bailey was only happy unless I was holding her and it was extremely difficult getting our food and drinks, along with everything else we needed. Not to mention, the line was exceedingly long. I finally got our food and sat down, got everyone's food out and boom... Like clock work, Adrienne had to go potty.  After a trip to the bathroom, we sat down again and I'll admit, the girls really enjoyed their chicken nuggets. However, Adrienne spilled her drink and Bailey fussed and grabbed for things, knocking the tray on the ground. I turned around to throw our things in the trash and in that 10 second time frame, Adrienne fall on the ground face first and some random stranger ran over and picked her up. I honestly felt like crying at that point. I have never felt so harried and overwhelmed as a mother like I did today.

This sweet old lady came over to me, put her arm around me and said, "Honey, I promise you, it's worth it. Hang in there during these years." She then had her husband throw out the rest of my trash, zipped the girls' coats and offered to help us out to the car. It was very, very sweet and encouraging to me.

I got in the car and I felt so moody, grumpy and irritable. I kind of set myself on auto-pilot and when the kids would talk to me it was all I could do to respond. I was beyond exhausted and frustrated by the challenges we had met. My goal for the day had been to have fun and spend meaningful time together but it somehow seemed like a total flop.

When we finally got home, I told myself that I would never take all three of them out by myself ever again. There's only one problem with that... That's almost impossible! I keep telling myself that these are just hard years, which they definitely are, and that I will survive the struggles and challenges. That line of thinking bothers me, though, because I don't want to merely survive  them, I want to actually enjoy and cherish them. I know that one day I will miss these days but on a day like today, I'm starting to wonder! I have a sign in my house that says, "Don't just count the days... Make the days count. " So here's my resolution to doing just that! It won't always be easy but I do not want to look back on my life with regret.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have days like this a lot and I only have 2 boys....I can only hope to imagine what it is like with 3....if it makes you feel any better, most days that I come to church alone with the boys, this is exactly how I feel :(