Can I be Honest?

To tell the truth, I hate change. With each new season of life and every addition to our family, I'm overwhelmed with anxiety about the transition. I can remember hating high school with every fiber of my being (and that's putting it lightly) but still crying on my last day before I graduated. I can also remember being so excited and ready to get married but becoming an emotional wreck when all of my stuff was moved into my new home. I guess I'm just wired that way and you would think I would learn to just realize that and give all of my worries to God but it's a struggle for me, nonetheless.

Please don't think that this is at all a reflection of my feelings and love for my daughter who is still in the womb, but the thought of managing three children is leaving me with so many worries. How do I say it? Life right now is pretty close to perfect- The girls are on a great routine, one that gives John and me plenty of alone time and more than enough sleep. When we go anywhere, John and I each strap one girl into her car seat and head out. Then, when we get to our destination we pretty much have no issues... Both girls cooperate beautifully at stores and restaurants and it's not stressful to be out and about. When John is working I feel confidant enough to get out of the house with the girls and I never worry if I'll be able to manage them or not. John and I also have some freedom now as far as being able to go on date nights and movies from time-to-time.

Here's the beauty of it though, the very instant that I hear that baby cry I will be completely fine. I know this in my heart but translating that into my brain that likes to over-analyze and stew over things is hard. I love Bailey already but when I see her precious little face and hold her, suddenly none of these so-called worries will matter to me anymore. I've been down this road before and I know all of this to be true!

I'm going to do my best to spend these next ten days prayerfully waiting instead of sinfully worrying! I also have tons to do so I'm sure that will help keep me occupied. Things are going to be wonderful when it's all said and done.. I just know it.