About an hour later I was finally in my room and asking for my baby. As soon as I saw John's face I knew... I would not be enjoying my baby. Apparently my girl has some type of respiratory infection and they quickly gave her an IV and oxygen and put tubes down her throat. Then, they broke the news to me... Bailey would need to be shipped off to another hospital with a higher level of care because this hospital only has a high needs nursery, not a NICU per say. I wept like a baby. Adrienne had a very similar problem but was able to stay within the walls of this hospital. That was hard enough but this is a million times harder as John has had to go back and forth and I've been able to do nothing. The pediatrician on call at this hospital was a very rude foreign woman who told me that "because I didn't have her normally this problem resulted" Yeah, not the best thing to tell a mother who already feels like crap.
So right now I sit here and wait.. I'm in no condition to leave the hospital and neither is Bailey. I have grown to love her through pictures and stories about her temperament but I have yet to really experience her. I'm fearful that she will bond with so many others before she'll bond with me and that's hard to handle. I've been pumping like crazy trying to get my milk to come in but that has yielded very little results. There are not words to express how hard this is.
Here are a few pictures that John took of her yesterday. She is absolutely beautiful and I must stare at this picture in amazement for at least half of the day. Oh how I long to have my arms full. I repeat... This. Is. HARD.
3 comments:
PRAYING and SENDING LOTS OF GOOD THOUGHTS for baby Bailey!Jillian,she is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!
CONGRATULATIONS mommy and daddy♥
Oh she looks soooo sweet!
It's so not fair that you have to go through all this! I know how hard and scary it is to have your baby whisked away, but our NICU was just down the hall. I hope you can heal quickly and get to hold her soon! Keep pumping, even if it seems worthless. You'll want that bonding time once she's better, especially after this rough start! Hang in there, I'm praying for you guys!
Oh, and ignore rude doctors! Better yet, write down what they say and send it in to "My OB said what?!" :-)
Omigosh you poor thing. I usually just lurk occasionally on your blog, but I had to comment and say I'll be praying for you. I can't imagine not being able to hold your sweet new baby. We did go through some medical problems with my 3rd, however, which gave us an extra week in the hospital. The Lord will see you through. God bless.
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