Having my first baby just months after my 21st birthday has made it very difficult to find friends that I can relate to. People my age are really living it up right now... Traveling, partying, going to school, etc.. NONE of my friends from high school have kid and the majority aren't even married yet. Because of that, I tend to click more with older people because they are the ones that share a similar lifestyle with me. However, I'm insecure about talking to these types of people because I feel like they think I'm just a kid or like I'm not as good of a mom due to my age. I know these are just feelings but maybe they're true? I'm too strapped down for people my age and too young to relate to people that have children the same age as mine. Very weird.
I've been feeling like this for a while now but when we go to gymnastics I feel it the most. All of the moms sit there and watch the kids in class and they are all probably 8 to 10 years older than me! One of them was actually a teacher in the high school I went to and now our daughters are the same age. All of the moms talk and laugh and I try REALLY hard to fit in but somehow I don't think I do. I realize that this is a silly 45 minutes out of my life each week but it kind of lends to the feelings I already have about not really fitting in.
There are so many misconceptions about young parents, I feel... Like we're not as stable or like we got married because I was pregnant (which is SO not true) or like we somehow lack the responsibility that older parents have. These are just stereotypes but sometimes I feel insecure about being a young mom. It's just weird... some moms have kids into their 40's and when I'm 40, Brooke will be college-aged. Very odd!
Does anyone else have a hard time "fitting in?"
6 comments:
Hey! So I totally know what you mean, except the complete opposite! Here I am, almost 24, and still in college when all I want to do is get married and have adorable kids, just like you! All of my friends are so much younger than me, some even 6 years younger! It's been like that for a while though, I can never seem to become friends with people my age. Before I went back to college, I was working full time - and all my co-workers and friends were older.
I love your attitude when it comes to being a mother and admire you greatly. The thing I have come to realize (which I'm sure you know) is that each person is different and will go through certain things in their life at completely different times! I think you are SO lucky to be able to stay home and raise your children. I know you enjoy it! You are a WONDERFUL mother and have amazing girls. I know you thank God daily for them, so just keep doing that and change those misconceptions people have about young mothers. Prove them all wrong!
I've so been there (and sometimes still am)! I had my first daughter at age 22, and especially at first felt I neither fit in with people my own age or with other moms. However, after being a mom for a few years (we're now expecting our third), I've been blessed to find some other young mommy friends, who are a huge blessing. But even more importantly, I've found that being a mom connects you more than age does. My best friend is 9 years older than I am, but we couldn't be closer. Have confidence in yourself and your calling! God bless.
I feel the same way! Most of our friends at church are 5-10 years older than us, and I still feel like a college kid! It definitely makes it hard for me to find close friends. I feel intimidated by them, and have a hard time opening up to them.
YEP, I had my first daughter at 19 years old. So I missed the normal 'young'years now at 29 and the mom of 3 I really dont fit with my friends from high school. All who are still in or just recently graduated college. Some are married but no kids and just enjoying life.
So I tend to just stick to myself and enjoy my kids and not really care about 'friends' although it would be nice to have a girls night out.
I could've written this myself!! Literally, you've spoken words that I've been thinking for a long time now. All of my good friends up here are moms, and are at least 3 years older than I am. I have one friend who is a year younger than I, who is not a Mother, and I used to hang out with her a lot. I didn't realize it at first, but I started feeling really badly about my choice to start a family young, and becoming envious of her freedom and lack of responsibilities, and even she made me feel badly sometimes about being a Mom young. We are still friends, but needless to say, we don't hang out nearly as much as we used to. My best friend up here is awesome, but sometimes I feel inadequate compared to her just because she's older than me, and more mature, etc... I'm also in a parents & tots swim class with Molly, and I just know I've got to be the youngest mom there, and people probably thought I was a teenage unwed mother when they first saw me, compared to their ages. So believe me, I completely understand where you're coming from, and can totally relate. I guess us young, responsible, great moms just have to prove ourselves to the rest of the world. I just think it's all funny because our parent's generation had kids when they were our age and that was the norm! My how things have changed.
Yep...I feel it too but I wouldnt change it if I could because i love the fact that my mom is so young and we are so close. I know that I will be a "cool mom" :0) and so will you!!! lol. We wont be old and out of the loop when our kids are teenagers! I love the thought that my children will be independent by the time andy and i are in our 40's and then we will get to enjoy life together at a young age and watch our children have grandchildren and actually be young enough to have the energy to enjoy them! But...I totally get what you are saying. I feel disconnected from my friends often and it hurts to know that they dont invite me to things bc i have kids and they dont think I can go or whatever but then i look at my boys and know that i wouldnt trade them for 1000 girls nights! lol. And...we shouldnt care if the old people think we are bad moms...we know the truth :0)
Post a Comment