I have encountered several "holier than thou" type women lately that claim that they never clean or do household chores while their children are awake. One person said, "My children need to know that they come before the mop and broom." While that statement may be true, there is a fine line between cleaning and being consumed with cleaning.
My thoughts are that I am called to be a keeper of the home. This sometimes means that I step away from playing with blocks and reading books to mop the floor or to do the dishes. My girls know that they are my priority but allowing them to have time during the day to play with each other alone does not diminish that. On top of that, if I just so happened to be mopping the floor it doesn't mean that I let them scream hysterically in the other room... Most of the time I'm required to stop several times to tend to different issues they have.
Furthermore, I feel as though it's VERY important to teach my daughters how to run a household. If they see me constantly "eating the bread of idleness," (as it is referred to in Proverbs) what kind of message is that sending to them? I try to include them in the different chores that I do and they really enjoy it! Both girls love "folding" laundry and Brooke already knows how to help me sort the lights, whites, and darks. If I'm vacuuming, they get their little toy vacuums out and follow me. If I'm hanging up clothes, I let them pass me hangers. I really don't think that they're too young to be included in these tasks and in the process, they're learning responsibility. These are small steps in teaching them how to keep their homes one day.
Besides, if I only cleaned after they went to bed at night or during nap time then what time would that leave for my husband? I absolutely love my children with every ounce of me but my husband has needs, too. If gave up the little chores I did throughout the day and used my evening time alone with him to make up for it, I would never get time with him. It just doesn't make sense to me.
So what about you? Where do you draw the line? Am I some evil mother for occasionally dragging out the mop and broom? I truly don't think so and not much of what anyone has to say could convince me of that. I am interested, however, on how the rest of you manage your homes.
5 comments:
Ignore the crazy people who try to judge you.
Seriously, do you want your kids to think the sun rises and sets with them? Do you KNOW what kind of children you end up with with that kind of attitude? It's like how children need to learn there's a time and a place to be seen and heard.
You just keep doing what you're doing, it sounds spot on, and anybody that says otherwise is simply trying to rationalize their own "my child is the center of he universe" mindset. I think those are the kids I can't stand sitting next to at pancake house, because they feel the need to run over to my table so I can see how adorable they are. UGH.
I have trouble with this particular problem. Mine is not a "holier than thou" attitude though. Mine is simply...I am gone so much for school and work, shouldn't I make the time I do spend with Brock count? Is it okay to do this at the expense of my household? I feel sad about this a lot. My house isn't clean. I do keep up with the dishes and laundry, but that's about it. If I have to vacuum or mop, I feel like I am ignoring Brock and turning him into a loner. He is perfectly happy to play by himself for a few hours - but selfishly, I feel like he needs me to sit with him and read with him and teach him his numbers and letters. I just don't know how to find a happy medium. Any thoughts?
I can't believe some people feel that way! I think it's important for our kids to see that it takes work to keep up a household, and teach them responsibilities around the house. There's a balance though, because we do need to spend time focusing on them. I bet this has something to do with moms comparing their kids (and state of their house) with other moms. I have a feeling you and I feel the same way on this, but I'm sure you're better at staying on top of the cleaning than I am...especially since you seem to enjoy it! I've been striving to do a little at a time lately (FlyLady style), so that it only takes a minute to accomplish what I wanted, then I have more time for other things!
Oh, and by the way...the cool background on my blog is just from a blogger template! I don't have any idea how to do that sort of stuff either!
Thanks for your feedback, everyone! I'm happy to hear I'm not alone.
Ashley, I think it's always hard to find balance as a mom because we seem to feel like our children are entitled to more than they are getting from us. Ya know? There are very few days that I got to bed and feel like I'm the best mom and like everything was in check. We love our children so much that we're in this constant state of questioning and wondering if we're measuring up. At least I am, anyways!
In my opinion, while you need to make special time for Brock, your house is also important. Leaving him for a minute to go mop the floor is not going to make him a "loner," but instead, it will teach him imagination and how to entertain himself. There's a difference between neglecting him and allowing him to play by himself for chunks of time here and there. I wouldn't beat myself too much over getting my housework done if I were you. You can always incorporate him into your cleaning and if not, you can still talk to him and interact with him as you go about your business. Hope this helps!
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