We were hit by yet another awful storm here in the Northeast, leaving us housebound. I enjoy being stuck in with my girls and the day really does fly by. The first half of our morning was wonderful... We had a nice breakfast with plenty of giggles and good conversation and then a nice long bath for the girls. After I tidied up from breakfast and all, we spent a good while on a paper chain with 28 links on it to help the girls be able to visualize the time until Bailey gets here. We had so much fun and I was thinking to myself how much I love being a mom and how I am maybe even kind of good at it.
Not long after that, my confidence was completely destroyed. I won't get into too many of the details but let's just say that Brooke was having some MAJOR attitude issues. It was this big ordeal and she was so angry and crying uncontrollably that she was quite the force to be reckoned with. She had me so upset inside that I sent her to her room and couldn't even deal with her until I took a few minutes to calm down. During that time I just broke into tears and was completely heartbroken over everything that was going on. In my four years of parenting, it was probably the biggest disciplinary challenge I've had to face.
All is well that ends well and of course my sweet princess has had a major transformation. Her attitude has been wonderful since her tantrum and I'm happy because that must mean I got through to her. The point of this whole story is that I am continually reminded of the fact that I don't have the power to be a good, or even decent, mom on my own power. If I depend on myself for the strength to get through each day then I might have some good days here and there but each time things get tough, I promise I'll fall flat on my butt every time. I need to daily be seeking God for His wisdom on raising my girls and relying less on my intuitions or parenting magazines. As the Bible says in Proverbs, "Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart. Lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." I find that to be so reassuring, especially in the midst of challenges like today.
So, while I like to think that I'm "Super Mom," I am once again reminded that I most definitely am NOT. I'm just an average mom who needs all the help she can get from her savior just to get through each and every day. This parenting thing is TOUGH stuff but I'm thankful that I do not have to go at it on my own!