Saturday, November 24, 2007

It's Always Something:-(

As I said the other day, Brooke has another cold. Unfortunately that same cold has now been passed on to me, leaving us where we were a few weeks ago.. Miserable and sick. Yesterday was the worst of it but today we both have the lingering cough and runny nose. I'm so annoyed that we keep getting colds!

Brooke also has a really, really awful diaper rash. I've been trying so hard to get rid of it and it's only gotten worse. It's now traveling down towards her thighs and it looks so uncomfortable for her. I feel so sad that she has to have this nasty rash. I think that it's thrush again because last time she had thrush she got a rash like this, though it wasn't nearly this bad. I also saw a few white spots in her mouth. So, it looks like we're back to the doctor on Monday to try to get her fixed yet again.

I also think that Brooke has another tooth coming in. It's hard to tell because she won't ever let me in her mouth. It's also on her top gums, which makes it even harder to be able to look. The one area is very swollen and I think that I feel an ever so slight part of a tooth. She's also gnawing on things and putting her fingers on that one spot in her mouth. Teeth are so annoying. They mess everything up!

All of these things have really done a number on our sleeping progress. For starters, she has been nursing to sleep. When she's well, she always goes down awake. I've just been wanting to snuggle with her and comfort her because I know she feels like garbage. She is also waking up A LOT. I think that it's cruel to let a sick baby with an itchy bottom, runny nose, cough, and sore gums sit in her crib to cry. Therefore I've been picking her up and giving in to her a whole lot more. I just hope that this doesn't totally undo everything that we taught her.

Brooke has even been waking up in the middle of the night and STAYING awake for hours at a time.. Something that she has NEVER done. The other night her cough woke her up at 1. It was such a bad cough that she was wide awake, causing her to want to play. It took me an hour to get her to calm down and go back to sleep. She has also been waking screaming at other times, in obvious discomfort. I know that she's sick so I'm trying to be patient, but this is SO difficult. I'm walking around like a zombie and I'm so not used to that!

Brooke also doesn't take naps. It's ridiculous. I know that she's exhausted and I've come to determine that the only way I'll be able to get her to nap is to let her cry-it-out. However, like I said before, I absolutely will not let my sick baby cry-it-out. So, it looks like we'll have to postpone trying to get Brooke to nap until she's better.

As I said a couple of days ago, John bought me tickets to go see Annie with Alison and Sarah next Thursday night. How the heck am I supposed to leave her if she won't go down without nursing??? I'm so anxious about this all. I don't even know what to do. I feel like I've been Brooke's personal pacifier lately, but is that because she's sick or is that because I've spoiled her? I just don't know. I really haven't given her much of an opportunity to go down awake lately. Hopefully she'll be all better by then and it won't even be an issue.

I want my healthy, happy, sleeping baby back. I love the sick baby just as much and I'm honored to be able to care for her, even in difficult circumstances, but my heart breaks for her when she isn't herself. Hopefully things improve.. And SOON!

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