Shots are Tough!

Adrienne had her shots yesterday and I'm amazed at how horribly she's reacting to them. Brooke always used to be extra groggy that day and the next day resume life as normal, but Miss Adrienne, on the other hand has been miserable.

For starters, she had a hard time going down last night. She always goes down effortlessly, too, so it was a big change for her. She slept from 9-3:30, which isn't bad in and of itself, but considering that she always sleeps until 6 or 7, that's not too great. When she woke up at 3:30, she was miserable and very, very upset. I brought her into bed with me to nurse and we both drifted off to sleep.

When John woke up at 6 to head to work, I reached over and felt that Adrienne was pretty warm. I took her temperature and it was 101 so I went downstairs to get some Tylenol for her, only to find that we were OUT. I thought I had a back-up bottle of it, but as it turns out, that was Ibuprofen. AHH! I quickly dressed myself and ran to the gas station before John left and spent 8 dollars on a silly little bottle of Tylenol. 8 dollars????!?!!?!?!? If that's not highway robbery then what is??

Adrienne has been off all day today, too.... Screaming out of nowhere, not sleeping well, and running a fever every time the medicine wears off. I called the doctor and he said that this is normal for 24-48 hours. Ugh:-( I wish I could magically help her feel better NOW.

Brooke's waking up from her nap and I promised her that we would make cookies, so cookie time it is!

Name that Baby

Adrienne wore one of Brooke's old dresses today and I'm amazed at how much they look alike. Here are some pictures for comparison:

Brooke:


Adrienne:


Holy cow! Don't you notice a huge resemblance? I sure as heck do!

Adrienne had her two-month check-up today and she looks great, according to the doctor. She's a whopping 12 pounds, 10 ounces and is 23 3/4 inches long. What a big girl! She doesn't really look that chubby to me and she's not a huge eater, so I was pretty amazed by her weight. Not to mention, the kid is always puking. I guess she more than makes up for it!

Alrighty, off to enjoy my husband. I'm out!

That Yearning Question

Quite often I am asked that familiar question... "So, are you going to try for that little boy?" First of all, if we try again, it will be for a baby... Not for a boy or a girl. I don't understand why people would automatically assumed that I wouldn't want another little girl because that couldn't be farther from the truth. Second, I just don't know the answer to this reoccurring question!!

Here's the deal, I have always wanted 3 or 4 kids. However, after my 2 C-Sections, my doctor has strongly advised me to only have 1 more baby. He said that subsequent C-Sections get harder and harder and the risks increase. While I don't LOVE being told that it's best to stop at 3, I respect his judgement and I will most likely honor it. That still leaves me with the question... Will we have that 3rd baby? It's something I struggle answering because I want another baby so bad. I don't have this amazing feeling of completeness, like so many mothers say they do after their last baby. I want to be pregnant and experience all of the joys that go hand in hand with that and I want to add yet another dimension of love to our family.

I'm sure you're thinking... "Okay, so what's the problem. Why not have that third baby?" The problem is that children require resources. We are comfortable now. We can clothe our children nicely, we can afford to go out to dinner on Friday nights, we have a nice car and home, and we can save money. With me being a stay-at-home-mom, we definitely make sacrifices, for sure, but we do it with joy for our kids. We just don't know if one more would be too much or if we would be able to afford to help 3 kids out as much as we would be able to help only 2. I want to be able to help them buy their first cars, send them to college, pay for the weddings, etc... Like my parents did for my sibling and me.

Another thing that makes me wrestle this decision is that I'm so happy right now with my two girls. Even though I don't necessarily feel as though my family is complete, life with these two kids is wonderful enough now that I would be completely content.

Being faced with another C-Section makes the prospect of a third baby a little less wonderful, as well. I would GLADLY go through it again to have another baby, but it was really, really, really. Who said that childbirth was suppose to be easy though???

I'm NOT ready to say goodbye to my childbearing days but that's not a reason to keep having babies! I realize that I have a two-month-old and so my view of the future might be a bit skewed, but right now I'm just thinking about this matter a lot. I am so thankful that somewhere in God's big plan He's got my situation figured out because I sure as heck do NOT!

Missed Milestones

I have been too busy to sit down and write over the last couple of days so I managed to miss two very important occasions-

For starters, Sunday was my dad's birthday. We had a very nice cookout at my parent's house that night to celebrate. It was a lot of fun having everyone together! I just want to note just how much my dad means to me. I feel so blessed to have such an authentic, Godly, and loving man of integrity as my father. He's been my pastor for my whole life and it's been such a blessing to see him practicing what he preaches day in and day out. Not many people are that lucky! My dad is always there to bail me out while John is working or to lend a helping hand. He provides an amazing example of how to live the Christian life, raise Godly children, and maintain a loving marriage. He is extremely generous with ALL of his resources.. His time, his money, and his abilities. I am so thankful for my dad!!! Happy Birthday, Daddy!

I also missed Adrienne's two-month birthday yesterday. I just can't believe that my tiny little baby is already two months old! She coos, giggles, and smiles like nobody's business. She always seems to be kicking her feet and sucking her thumb. It's just her signature look:-) She goes down WIDE AWAKE for her naps and for bed and she continues to sleep 10+ hours every single night. I'm not quite sure how I lucked out with TWO easy babies, but I sure did. Yesterday, Brookie and I were playing with blocks on the floor so I had Adrienne on her play mat. I got up to get a tissue and when I came back, Adrienne was sound asleep, sucking on her thumb. Sleep is like NO issues for her whatsoever. She has a vibrant little personality that is starting to come out and I love that little glimmer in her eye that tells me that she's going to give me a run for my money. Lol! She's getting so big but I'm really, really excited for the various stages that are still ahead of us. It's so much fun watching my girls grow! We go on Thursday for her two-month check-up and I can't wait to hear just how big she is!

In other news, our dumb dog, Chippper, had been staying with John's parents since the day before Adrienne was born. So, after two months, he was returned to us yesterday:-( Luckily we installed an electric fence so he is able to run free because I would NOT be able to manage that huge dog and two girls by myself. He and I don't have a very good relationship so I'm dreading the transition to life with Chipper again but John loves him so it looks like I'm stuck. I'm working on my attitude but I HATE HIM. Wish me luck because I'm going to need it.

Alrighty, both of my princesses are sleeping and all of my housework is done so I think I'm going to go read my book... "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It's a great book and I'm REALLY enjoying it!

Happy Birthday, Nathan Bug!

Dear Nathan,

I love how you love life and enjoy it to the fullest. I love your sense of humor and the charm that you can put on so thick. I love your enthusiasm and the way you take on this big old world without even an ounce of fear. I love how much you love music and how you can't seem to stop singing, drumming, or playing your air guitar. I love how you love Brookie and "look after her" for me. I love that even though I have two little girls, I can enjoy all the sentiments of little boys because I have YOU!

I love you so much, buddy, and I'm so thankful that I am lucky enough to be your aunt and watch you grow. I'll never forget the day you joined our family. Happy 3rd Birthday!!

Love,

AJ

The Almost Impossible Morning

I had the worst start to my day today. Seriously, it's amazing that I actually got out of the house! I needed to run out to Target and get the girl's some diapers so of course I started our normal morning routine of getting dressed, fixing our hair, eating breakfast, brushing our teeth, etc... I'm not sure about anyone else, but mornings in my house are the craziest time of the day. Adrienne doesn't nurse all night so she usually likes to eat, eat, eat in the mornings and that kind of slows us down. She's also particularly fussy in the mornings and Brooke is always a little bit demanding to have her breakfast right on cue.

We were just about to cross the finish line to the front door when I heard my freshly bathed Adrienne making a sound. I looked over at her and she had covered herself, her clothes, and her car seat in tons and tons of throw up. This is not extremely abnormal in our house so I kept my composure. I stripped her down and gave her another bath and then put her in her bouncy seat while I ran upstairs and picked her out a new outfit. Before I came back downstairs, I heard her coughing and I was almost afraid to look at her because I KNEW that cough. As luck would have it, she threw up all over the place... again... Except for that this time it managed to get all over her bouncy seat and the carpet. I had no choice but to throw her in the tub again because she was pretty well soaked. Finally, after three attempts to leave, we made it out the door. What a morning! She hasn't thrown up again so far (Knock on wood!!!!) but I'm kind of scared every time she makes a sound.

So, where was Brooke during our morning fiasco? Let's see... She was standing on her "potty train" at the bathroom sink putting her "contacts" in. Lol! That kept her busy for quite some time but the rest of the time she was right by my side at the kitchen sink standing on a chair so she could help me bathe Adrienne. I consider myself blessed that Brooke is so easy going and compliant because on mornings like this, I wouldn't be able to do it!

Luckily my dad was free this afternoon so we rode to Target together and then we met my mom out for lunch. It's amazing how helpful grandparents can be with kids, isn't it? They just have the magic touch and I'm always thankful for the extra hands.

Okay, I'm off to go clean up the remnants of this morning. It should be a real blast, let me tell ya!

Random Stuff

It's been a pretty busy week around here, as usual, but everything is going really well in our camp! I can't express how happy and content I am with my life right now. I'm crazy in love with my husband and totally smitten over my daughters and everything else just seems to fall into place after that. I would have never guessed that I could be this adjusted to being a mother of two after only 8 short weeks, but the transition has been seamless (Or close to it)!

Brooke has just gotten so big lately. I'm not sure why I feel this way about her right now but I really do. She's been wearing her hair up in a ponytail sometimes, which makes her look about 13, and she's also been articulating her feelings very well. She has always had amazing verbal skills but now that she can exress what's on her mind, it has helped me "get" her more. She's very caring and sensitive but she also has enough spunk and a sense of humor to even her out. Man, I love that kid!

Brooke has all of the signs of readiness for potty training (according to everything I've read) and so my plan was to stay in this week and just DO it. Well... After day 1 was a bit discouraging, we got busy with life and kind of dropped the ball. This is SO FRUSTRATING. She'll tell you if she needs to go potty but always, always misses the toilet. She'll get there ONE day, I suppose!

The only negative thing that I would have to note about Brookie right now would be her sleeping issues. I do NOT know what her deal is but when we put her to bed, she screams, "Ma-meeeeeeeeeeeee, Da-deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I WANT YOU." Some nights this goes on for like 20 minutes or more and it's so frustrating. We haven't been going in her room AT ALL the last couple of nights, regardless of her tantrums, and she's been passing out just a little bit quicker. She's also been waking up very early (around 6) and screaming for John. Thankfully she'll always fall back asleep if we bring her in our room.

Adrienne has turned into the sweetest baby! Those first weeks with her had me wondering but she's such a content baby now. She coos and giggles and smiles all day and it is so incredible to see her little personality unfold. She's nursing like a champ... Very efficiently, too, so her nursing sessions seem very short to me. She also sleeps through the night every single night!!!! Last night she slept from 9 to 6:15 this morning. You just can't beat it! I've recently learned that she does better if I put her to bed semi-awake she'll got down much better than if she goes totally to sleep first. I'm not sure why that is but that's what she likes. She's a thumb sucker and I think that her ability to soothe herself with it is my biggest help in the sleeping area!

I don't think I have anything else to report on so I think I'm going to go do some work. There's ALWAYS something for me to be doing around this house!

There Goes My Motivation... RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN!

I am so discouraged right now! About 2 weeks ago I had decided that I wanted to start a serious diet and exercise plan. Honestly, I was feeling really good about my postpartum body because all of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit and I have lost all of the baby weight.. In pounds, anyway (nevermind the excess flub in certain areas!). Even though those things are encouraging, I still could stand to be thinner and if nothing else, MUCH more fit. Being healthy is a lifestyle and I was really excited that I was finally on that road. I joined SparkPeople.Com and I was eating great and waking up before the girls in the morning so I could do my aerobics. In my first week, I lost 5 pounds. I felt SO GOOD about myself... Better than I have in a long time.

Somehow, I managed to hurt my ankle last week and that has brought operation "get-Jillian-fit" to a screeching halt:-( My sister says that it's probably because I didn't wear shoes during my aerobics and I tend to agree with her because I don't remember a distinct time when I actually hurt it. Starting Tuesday of last week my foot was sore but I kept pressing on and exercising through the pain. I figured that the "no pain, no gain" mantra was probably true. As of last Wednesday, exercise has become impossible and it kills me to simply walk around the house or to be on my ankle at all. It's all swollen and right now it's throbbing, despite the fact that I'm sitting. I'm frustrated about this whole situation because I was really doing SO well and being so faithful to my exercise routine. Those grueling 30 minutes a day were so tough on me but I was learning to physically and mentally get through them. Now, when I'm able to start back up again, I'll have no choice but to start from square one.

I'm a very willful and stubborn person and I'm hoping that that is just enough to keep me trekking on this road to a healthier me. I must say, however, that as this very moment I'm VERY discouraged and it seems impossible to ever become this motivated and excited about exercise again. How unfortunate!

The Vaccum Saga

I have needed a new vacuum for quite some time now. John and I have weathered 2 crappy vacuums together and we were just plain sick of throwing cheap vacuums away every couple of years. So, last Thursday, we purchased the new Dyson Ball vacuum that is equipped with special attachments and only weighs 12 pounds. It's also insured for 5 years, so that definitely gave us peace of mind about purchasing it. The first time we used it we were astounded by the amount of crud we got up from our carpets and they even looked noticeably cleaner, too. We circulated the vacuum amongst our non-Dyson-owning family members, and they were also mystified (Lol) by the amount of stuff that they were able to get off of their carpets. We were blissfully happy with our amazing, wonderful, spectacular Dyson until..... TODAY.

At about 1:30 I was walking outside with Adrienne to get the mail. This random man said to me, "How old is your baby?" When I replied that she was 7 weeks old, he said, "Oh my goodness! I have a 5-week-old. We have so much in common!" He then proceeded to tell me that he was from Kirby vacuums and if I just let him in our house for 10 minutes he would steam clean our most high-traffic area. Also, he said that he would make a $25 bonus for doing that. Because I'm Jillian and I seem to have faith in all people... even strange, sweaty, vacuum men, I naively agreed with his scheme. I said, "Now, before I let you in, you need to understand that my husband is a cop and he's patrolling right down the road. So, if you're here to chop me in a million pieces or something then he'll be here in about 2 seconds." He laughed at me, of course, and then came on in.

He took his shiny, space-shuttle-look-alike vacuum out and set it up quickly. After he had gone through all of that trouble, he informed me that he would need to stay at least an hour to an hour and a half to earn his $25. I really felt bad for the guy... His pants were too big, his shirt was wrinkled, his tie did NOT match.. AND, he had an 11-month-old and his newborn at home. I had an hour free so I told him that he could do his thing. Long story short, he vacuumed a spot on our carpet 60 times in a row with my prized (or so I thought!) Dyson. When he used his Kirby over that same spot, he got tons and tons of dirt up. I was a bit sick to my stomach to think that my precious new $500 vacuum was actually worthless.

After he had completely captivated me and caused me to doubt my new vacuum, he lowered the "boom" and told me that the product was $1,999. WHAT?!?!??!?!?! However, because they have a "newborn baby special" he could give knock a whopping $99 off the price. Lol! Okay, now that sounds really legitimate. I kindly told him that while I was astounded by his vacuum's capabilities, I couldn't fathom spending so much on the product.

So, the question remains? Was his vacuum demonstration just some gimmick or does my Dyson really suck... And I don't mean the good way that you want a vacuum to suck, either! Has anyone else ever had a run-in with a desperate Kirby guy or am I the only one who has been so blessed???? Lol

VBS Mania

I haven't been able to get on the computer this week because we have had Vacation Bible School (VBS) going on at our church since Sunday night. I'm not really sure why I volunteered to make and coordinate the dinners each night, but somehow I did. Lol! I've been doing it every year since I was 12 and the thought of just giving up my spot this year made me kind of sad, so I decided to do it.... With my two small children in tow. I've had lots of help from people at church with the girls, which has been nice, but each day has been so, so long because we have had to be at the church at 3:30 to get dinner cooking. John also has a job at VBS and Brooke has a class that she goes to so we don't leave until after 8. Tomorrow night is the last night and then we'll have our life back!!

It's been kind of bittersweet this year because Brooke's old enough to be "one of the kids." Last year they had a class for her, but she was still too young to go outside and eat with the rest of kids at dinner time. This year, however, she and Nathan go out under the big tent and eat with all the big kids. They look so big out there, yet so little, all at once and it breaks my heart! Luckily I have been outside serving dinner each night so I can keep close tabs on my princess (and Nathan, too!).

Adrienne has been doing great this week, despite our hectic schedule. She is just full of coos and smiles and she has tolerated the heat and busyness of VBS very well! She continues to sleep through the night for 8-9 hours but she takes FOREVER to go to bed. She was staying up until about 10 each night, but the last couple of nights it's been progressively later. Last night she was up until midnight. UGH! Something's got to give here, Miss Adrienne! I would rather her go to bed at like 8 or 9 and wake up at 2 or something, rather than sleep through the night, but we all know that babies don't let us pick their sleeping schedule. Now wouldn't that be nice??

I'm off to enjoy some time with my wonderful husband... And of course, with Adrienne, too, because she's WIDE AWAKE!!

Misunderstood

*If you're reading this, and you posted anything about me on my Facebook status, this is NOT directed towards you. It just provoked some thoughts, is all!*

There's this thing going around Facebook that you post in your status: "If you read this, even if we don't speak often, post a comment with a memory of you and I. It can be anything you want. When you have finished, post this paragraph on your own status and you will be surprised at what people remember about you." I don't usually participate in those things, but I thought it would be interesting to see what people remember about me so I posted it. Anyways, several people posted things about me back in school and how I didn't get along with certain teachers. Granted, these are funny memories and I WAS a bit of a rebel back then, but really, is that all that people thing of when they hear "Jillian?"

Looking back on high school, I regret choices I made. I really do. I know that I really struggled with respecting authority and following the rules. I was mouthy, tardy, and lazy... And that's if I bothered to show up for class. I just hated high school and everything about. I've given it some thought and I really think that many of my problems were because school was SO HARD for me. I was just not a student and learning was a struggle, unlike the other kids in my small class of 27 or so (I went to private school). So, instead of acting hurt by the 70 I received after hours of studying, I passed it off like I didn't care. If I couldn't be the "smart" kid, it was just easier to be the kid who didn't give a darn about academics. I also felt like my voice wasn't ever heard. I had opinions and good ideas, but because I was, well, a smart alec, they never really mattered. It was altogether a rough 4 years.

High school was high school and granted, I'm still the same old Jillian in many ways, but really, I have grown and matured more than I think people realize. That's just a natural post-high school progression, in my opinion. But, I can't help but wonder if people still think I'm a screw up. When they hear that I got married at 20 and had a baby at 21, they probably think, "Ah, she got married for pregnancy. Such a shame." Even though I took my True Love Waits committment seriously, I still think that people assume that. When they hear that I dropped out of college, do they think, "It figures?" They probably don't realize that I dropped out of school ONLY to fulfill my greatest desire and longing- And that was to be a wife and a mama. Do people realize that I'm living for the Lord, serving actively in my local church, married to an incredible man of God who is my very best friend, or that I'm really content with my non-educated, not-so-smart self?

I guess it boils down to this: When I'm gone, will people remember the good things or was the bad so bad that it overshadows and positive things that I've done? I definitely want to stand for MUCH more than I ever did in high school and I want my life to be a testimony for the Lord and what he can do.

Making Sense of Adrienne

I had a major epiphany the other day.. Adrienne is NOT Brooke. Wow! Who would have ever imagined that? You see, because Brooke was a mega comfort nurser, really, I just assumed that Adrienne was and went with. Each night Adrienne would be tired and I would nurse her (because that's how Brooke always went to sleep) and she would just scream hysterically. I kept thinking that she wasn't eating because she had gas or she needed to burp. It finally hit me, though, that Adrienne was trying to say, "Stop trying to shove food down my throat, Mama. I'M NOT HUNGRY!" Now that I've finally figured all of this out, there's a lot less screaming going on in our house. Adrienne still screams off and on throughout the evenings, but the big difference is that I know what it takes to calm her down now... And that's NOT nursing.

Adrienne likes noise... The vacuum, hairdryer, the TV, music, etc.. All of these things actually help to knock her out instead of waking her up. Her favorite "white noise" is when I make a sound kind of like a "buzzzz." She also loves to be rocked. She just can't resist falling asleep when I take her upstairs and sit with her in the glider. All of these things are how we have to get Miss Adrienne to stop screaming each night.

And holy cow, when Adrienne is out for the night, she's OUT. Last night she slept from 10 until 6 this morning. It's wonderful, let me tell ya! She always sleeps incredibly for us and that has really helped keep me energized for those grumpy moments she tends to have. I don't know how moms of non-sleepers do it! I guess I just got lucky in this area!

Adrienne had this horrible diaper rash that I couldn't get rid of for the life of me. I had asked myself if there was anything in my diet that I was eating in excess and it hit me... I was addicted to strawberries. I was going through crazy amounts of them because they were so sweet and in season but as soon as I cut back big time, the rash miraculously went away. Maybe it's a coincidence? I don't know but I'm so happy that the rash is gone.

Alrighty, it's time to go work on dinner and spend some quality time with my Brooke while her sister naps!

Happy July 4Th!

Our 4Th of July festivities started last night. We took the girls to the fair in John's hometown and then to the fireworks. Adrienne, the baby who screams every evening at home, was completely happy and content and slept right through the fireworks without making so much as peep. Unbelievable! Maybe we should have fireworks every night? Lol! Brookie initially refused to look at the fireworks and held on tightly to John's mom saying, "Here come the booms!" Eventually she was persuaded to look at them and she ultimately ended up having a great time. Phew! Because our girls were with their grandparents, John and I were actually able to cuddle up together on the back of his dad's truck and watch the fireworks "alone." Even though our whole family was there, it was nice to have a couple of minutes to just be together and enjoy the tradition that we've had every year since we've been together. What a great night!

This morning John unfortunately had to work but I took the girls to the parade. Brooke was such a ham and went crazy over the candy that they were throwing at us! She even learned to turn on the charm and wave at the people so they threw even MORE candy her way. Such a silly girl! We had a really nice morning and the only thing that could have made it better would have been if John could have been there.

I am especially excited because Adrienne is wearing Brooke's outfit from her first 4Th of July. I took some pictures that I'll post on Facebook, but I will probably be too lazy to put them on here.

Tonight we have a barbecue at my mom's house and then tomorrow we're cooking out at our house. It should be a nice close to a wonderful weekend. I hope everyone else is enjoy the holiday as much as we are!

Night and Day

My two daughter seem to be polar opposites of each other. The more and more I get to know Adrienne, I'm seeing that she differs from Brooke- as a baby AND now- in so many areas.

A few words to describe Brooke would be content, easy-going, independent, and mellow. As an infant, she was happiest when she was put in her bouncy seat or on her play mat and she actually fussed the most when I held her. She was a wonderful baby and she loved to nurse so much that she would fall asleep only minutes after latching on and we would take glorious, long naps together. I seriously think that her infant hood was a breeze and she was the most easy baby to take care of.

Then, there came Adrienne!! A few words to describe her would be feisty, particular, and fussy.. Or um, opinionated. Lol! I hate to say it, but generally speaking, if she's not sleeping, she's screaming. I love her to pieces and her more difficult temperament doesn't make her less special, it just makes her an individual! She is one of those babies that you cannot ever put down. She doesn't tolerate her swing or bouncy seat very well and occasionally, she'll be content on her play mat for a few minutes, but that's about it. This makes fixing dinner, getting ready in the mornings, and housework all seem like monumental tasks because I have to do them with either a screaming baby or with a baby in my arms. Adrienne is definitely a "squeaky wheel" right now, but again, that's okay. She doesn't nurse great still- She continues to pull off of the breast and scream while she nurses. My only saving grace is that she's actually a great sleeper at night. Thank God for that!!

I'll be honest, I love my life and I love staying home.. BUT, the days are long sometimes. I spend much of my day jugging activities and books and toys with Brooke while trying to keep Adrienne content. Each day is great and I always, always manage to get the job done, but when I think about tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or three months from now, I just get overwhelmed. One step at a time, right? Besides, it can only get easier from here (I hope)!