We found out a couple of weeks ago that John will be going back on the night shift (11PM- 7AM) starting April 2Nd. When John called me from work and told me the news, I hung up the phone and cried. I thought of all of the things that I would miss... The normal hours, sleeping next to him every night, having him well rested and alert, enjoying weekends with him, and having holidays and weekends off. I knew that this change would most likely be coming but having the decision officially made for us was something really hard for me to grasp.
I'll be honest, I don't fully understand how we'll adapt to a new baby and the crazy schedule that that entails on top of adjusting to this new schedule, which is so, so hard at first. I'm not sure how we'll make alone time for one another or how John will ever feel rested enough. I'm almost sick to my stomach each time that I think of this because it bothers me so much. I was talking to my mom and expressing my fears to her and she said, "Jillian, God only gives the grace you need day-by-day. You don't have the grace you need for tomorrow or the next day or the day after... Just today." That's so true, isn't it? One day at a time God will sustain us and we'll come out stronger.
Through my mom's encouraging words and lots of prayer, I have been able to see the good in this situation more and more. For instance, John will be working only 4 day work weeks so his days on will fly by! Also, John will be able to get back into being a "real" cop, which is his true calling. I am also thankful that he will be working all night long instead of all evening long (3PM-11PM) because it means that we will have more time in the evenings to be able to enjoy trips to the park, walks, and going for ice cream. See, there IS good in this situation!
I'll admit, I haven't reached total and 100% peace with this whole schedule change, but it's a process. I know that God won't leave me stranded and that he'll take care of my family and me. I honestly don't know how people get through these seemingly impossible situations without God in their lives because that's what I'm totally leaning on right now!