A Tough Realization

You may recall me talking about John's current schedule... He's doing security at the county's human heath services building, which means that he has "normal" hours. It's been really awesome having him off on nights, holidays, and weekends. Heavenly, actually. He was supposed to be over there until June (which would have been a total of 6 months) but his lieutenant told him that he wants him back on the road (You know, being a real cop)on April first. Ugh... That just totally rocked my world because I thought that he would have a normal schedule when the baby came and I was WRONG.

It's hard because when he went on this very-temporary-position I knew that it was just that- Temporary. I knew that a 9-5, Monday-Friday work-week would never be in the cards for my husband as a cop and that I shouldn't get too used to this way of life. Even though I told myself that, I have absolutely grown accustomed to this amazing lifestyle and when he goes back to his crazy schedule, I'm sure it will be a very rough transition. Right now we don't know what shift he'll be on in April. The options are 1) 3 PM- 11 PM, which is hard because we barely have family time together or 2) 11 PM- 7 AM. On that shift we see each other a lot but John is ALWAYS tired and he gets very bad headaches so we rarely get quality time. On top of that, he'll be working a 4-2 schedule, which means that he'll work for 4 days and then get 2 off. This is good because it means that his work weeks are very short, but it's also very hard because it means that he only gets a rare weekend off here or there. It's so tough...

With John being off the road, I have also been freed from the constant worry of him being hurt (or worse) in the line of duty. Sure, he's still carries a gun and is still a cop where he's at right now, but it's not like he's going into people's houses or up to people's cars. It's been so nice having him easily accessible and being in a position where he can almost always answer my phone calls. I haven't worried about his safety as a cop once since he has been on this position and it's so nice to not have that constant fear.

I have said it so many times, but I am honored to be the wife of a cop. I think that it's a very admirable calling and I have the utmost respect for what he does. Sometimes, however, I selfishly wish that things are different. I support John 100% in his profession, but I'll admit, I just crave normalcy sometimes for our family. I suppose that for us this is what normal is and there's not sense in fighting it because this is how it has to be. I know we'll always be okay, but man, change is so hard!