So Blessed

Lately I've been REALLY struggling with not being pregnant. I know it sounds stupid because I have the most amazing, precious little girl that I could ever ask for, but it's so hard to accept that it's just not happening. When we decided to have Brooke, we didn't have to try at all... it just happened on its own. I think that that very fact alone is what's making me get so restless because it made me assume that baby #2would follow suit. Boy was I ever wrong! It's also hard because I know a lot of people that are pregnant and while I'm not jealous of them, I greatly wish that I could join them. Watching their bellies grow and seeing them prepare for the excitement of new life only makes my heart ache even more for another baby.

I'm learning each day to trust God's perfect plan and KNOW that His ways are higher than my ways. I'm trying to lean on scripture and my relationship with God to get me through this time of waiting that seems to weigh so heavily on my mind. If I didn't have that, I'm not really sure what hope I would have!

I heard this song, Blessed, by Martina McBride, and the words really said a lot to me:

I have been kissed by the sun each morning
Put my feet on a hardwood floor
I get to hear my children laughin'
Down the hall through the bedroom door
Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing
Just soakin' up the day
I think to myself, I think to myself
This world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

Across a crowded room
I know you know what I'm thinkin'
By the way I look at you
And when we're lying in the quiet
And no words have to be said
I think to myself, I think to myself
This love is a beautiful gift

I have been blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed

When I'm...
When I'm singing my kids to sleep
When I feel you holding me
I know

I am so blessed
And I feel like I've found my way
I thank God for all I've been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones that love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed oh yes
i have been blessed, oh yeah yeah

It's one of those songs that made me think and it caused me to realize that I have an amazing, blessed life. Even if I never have another baby, God has given me a life that is full of abundant already. So, intead of being frustrted over the fact that baby #2 is taking an awfully long time to come into our lives, I'm going to rejoice in what I DO have and be thankful for my many blessings... Or at least I'll try harder, anyways:-)