And the Fussing Continues...

I really don't know what's going on with my baby! She is irritable, fussy, and she won't eat. I don't get it. She'll act like she wants to eat, but she'll suck for a few seconds and then scream out in pain. I've tried gas drops.. thinking it was gas, and still, she's having difficulty eating. I'm so confused because right now she's upstairs with her daddy and she's laughing, cooing, and eating her feet. You would think that if she was sick, she wouldn't be this happy in between feedings. I've thought of teething, but her gums aren't swollen. I'm sure she could be just starting though. Right? I'm just out of ideas here! I'm going to call the doctor first thing in the morning just to rule out anything serious. My money is on something related to her reflux becaise she's been throwing up an AWFUL lot lately. I'm no doctor though. We'll just have to wait and see.

Today was John's day off and he planted some more flowers in our yard. We went and got 3 HUGE bags of red cedar mulch that really accents our maroon shutters nicely. It's really starting to come together out there! Hopefully our flower plants will bloom SOON.

Well, John's borrowing his brother's ancient Nintendo and I for one am VERY excited. I'm off to join him for a game of Mario Brothers. He's going to try to find me Paper Boy!! You guys remember that game?

Anyways, hope you all are doing well. My Mario Brothers is calling! Gotta go:-)

I Could SCREAM!!

I completely and utterly despise, detest, loath, HATE my computer. I know that these words my sound angry, but honestly, if you had to use this computer for 5 minutes, then you would feel the same way. In fact, with all things considered, I myself find my words gracious. The thing that annoys me the most is that it takes at least 10 minutes to load up Internet Explorer. Mind you, this is NOT a Jillian-sized exaggeration. This is the honest truth! In addition, it freezes up just about every 10 seconds. Again, I assure that this is the 100 percent factual. Nevermind the fact that we have Norton Anti-Virus and Spy Sweeper and that we pay all this money for Road Runner every month. I could type with one finger.. probably even with a broken finger...on the average computer, and still manage to finish blogging sooner than typing with 2 hands and using this rotten computer. So, if you happen to be walking past my house and you see shattered glass in the yard, don't be alarmed...It's most likely because I threw the stinking computer through the window.

In Brookie news...I have a great story! Last night she threw up all over the couch and me. I handed her to John to go clean myself up and I specifically said, "Don't worry, honey, she just threw up everything imaginable on me, so there can't be any left." Silly, silly John thought that that meant holding her above his head would be fine. Well, next thing we know, Brooke threw up ALL over her daddy's face, IN HIS MOUTH, and all over the front of his shirt. Hahahahahaha! He handled it so well. I was very proud of him! We were both laughing hysterically because really, what else could we do? Either we laughed or we cried. Of course my freshly bathed baby had to be totally changed and wiped down from the wonderful mess she made all over herself. Don't babies make life so interesting?? :-)

Well, I'm off to church for the typical Wednesday night grind. It's pizza night so I don't have to do much. YAY! It's nice to have a break. I hope that everyone is doing well and that nobody else wants to inflict harm upon their computer.

Living a Dream

Occasionally I will ask someone how they're doing and in return I'll hear them sarcastically say, "I'm living a dream." Well, I can honestly say that I AM living a dream. I don't know.. It just hit me today how very lucky and blessed I am! Not only do I have an amazing husband who supports me and loves me, but also, I am so, so fortunate to be able to stay home with my beautiful little girl. I feel bad for people that have to send their kids to daycare because I can't imagine missing the wonderful day to day interactions that I have with Brooke.

I just feel really fulfilled now. I didn't feel this type of fulfillment in college or when I worked. I know that the reason I feel this way is because I am in God's will by staying home. Don't get me wrong, it's hard work and it takes SO much effort to work in the home, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. All I really need right now to complete the dreams I always had as a kid is a white picket fence, pink tulips in my yard, and more kids (eventually) :-)

My sister and I always dreamed about taking our kids to the park together and having a picnic, and today, that's exactly what we did! We went to Subway and got 2 subs for 5$ (we always have coupons!) and then we sat in the shade on a blanket with the babies. Then we pushed Brooke in the stroller and Nathan got to swing on the baby swings. It was great fun! I can't wait until the babies are older so they can really enjoy the park more.

In other not-so-perfect news, Brooke is still screaming and tensing up while she eats. I thought that she was having gas because it is definitely the sound she makes when she's in pain, but all of the tricks that I usually use to relieve her gas pains are not helping. Like I said in a previous post, maybe her throat hurts from the reflux? I don't really know. I don't think she's sick because she's sleeping through the night and she at least WANTS to eat... even though she whimpers while doing so. Does anybody have any thoughts on this? I'm still guessing!

Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day everyone! I hope you all shared a nice day with your families and enjoyed the beautiful sunshine!

We went to a picnic with John's side of the family. Brooke was passed from person to person throughout the day and she did really well with it. She's even showed off her beautiful smile for everyone to enjoy and if I must say so myself, she looked SO cute. She was decked out in a festive sun dress with red, white, and blue stars. Adorable! Of course she had her sun bonnet on, also. I took some really cute pictures, but as we all know, I don't know how to post them by myself. Maybe my sister can help me again?? (Thanks in advance Al!)

I agonized about what to make for this picnic. It's weird, but I feel like what I bring is a representation of what kind of wife I am. I always want John to be proud of what his wife makes and I am always worried about us bringing our share. I don't really know why I feel like this... It just makes me feel like a good wife and like I'm doing my job well when I make good food. Maybe it's because my wonderful Jewish family associates food with love? Ha!

Anyways, I ended up making jello pretzel salad, which sounds weird, but it's surprisingly delicious. Everyone loved it and there was NONE left. That made me happy! Then I made lemon cheesecake pie and that got rave reviews too. Needless to say, I was proud of myself and it made me feel so great that people ate my food.

Again, Happy Memorial Day to everyone. I am so thankful for people that give their lives and sacrifice so very much to enable us to live in freedom as Americans!

Fussy Day

Today has been a difficult day with Miss Brooke. She's the kind of baby that would just assume be put down as opposed to being held, but all day today she's just wanted to be held. So not like her! Also, she's a great napper and sleeper all together, but today, she didn't take more than a 10 minute nap. Also, she screams and moans whenever she eats. I'm not sure if all of these problems are stemming from her being so tired from not napping, or if she's coming down with something. Her cousin's been sick, so I've been monitoring her temperature to make sure she doesn't have one, and as of now, she's fever free. She's been a fussing, crying mess all day and I wish I could fix what's bothering her. If this continues, I might take her to the doctor to make sure she's not sick. Poor girl!

Tonight I needed to go to the store to get a few ingredients for a recipe I'm making for a Memorial Day picnic. I just assumed Brooke and John would come with me, but they stayed home. I have to tell you, that 10 minute trip to the grocery store was a great little pick-me-up after my long day. When I came home, John had given her a bath and read her her nighttime story. I walked in to find them watching "Bob the Builder." It was so cute!! As much as I love giving Brooke her bath and taking care of her, few things make me happier than when I see her daddy doing those things. It makes me fall in love with him all over again just knowing how much he adores our daughter.

After waking up at 7 this morning to be at worship practice by 8:15, I then had to juggle feeding Brooke and playing the piano. We went out to lunch, and then I came home to handle a fussy baby by myself until John woke up at 4. Next I made dinner, did some laundry, ran to the store, made lemon cheesecake squares and strawberry pretzel salad, cleaned the kitchen, and vacuumed. Now I'm totally exhausted, covered in puke and baking ingredients, and completely spent. I thought Sundays were supposed to be a day of REST! Lol!

Babbling Brooke

Ya know, before Brooke was born, I swore that I would NEVER call her babbling Brooke, but now that she's here and well.. babbling, it just seems to fit. She seriously loves to talk. She's starting to squeal really loud when she gets excited and it cracks me up! She has this deep, raspy voice when she talks and it always puts a smile on my face when I hear it. One of my most favorite things is that she giggles and laughs when you talk to her. Being a mom is so exciting! Everyday is an adventure.

I am starting to realize that Brooke does not like to be put in her cradle (by our bed) but she will go to sleep in her crib in her room. Her room is right next to ours, but I'm not sure if I would be comfortable having her longer than an arm's reach away from me during the night. I would like to start putting her down in her crib while I'm still awake (I don't go to sleep until 12-12:30) to try to establish an earlier bedtime routine. What age is appropriate to have a baby out of your room? 3 months just seems so young to me, but I'm new at this, so I don't know. It's hard for me to put her down earlier than 11, because she cluster feeds from usually 9-11 or 11:30. So many challenges as a mother! Does anybody have any suggestions for me? I just want so badly to be a great mom and to do things right.

Well, I'm off to do the endless job of laundry. Yucky! I hate it!! I hope every one's enjoying their weekend.

Scrubbing Days

My mother-in-law, who cleans houses, asked me to clean this house with her once a month. I have always been the weird type that likes to clean anyways, so I figured that it would be a great way to not only get out of the house, but to make 33$ for only working an hour an a half.

When we first got to the house, I was a bit overwhelmed because Brooke was fussing, and of course I was worried about her, but I was also worried about my mother-in-law having to pick up my slack. I had brought Brooke's bouncy seat because she loves it, but she wasn't content to be in it for some reason, so I had to carry her all around this house while I cleaned it. Once I started the vacuum, it knocked her out and I was able to put her down. She loves the vacuum so much. Not sure why! I kept apologizing left and right for going slow and finally my MIL looked at me and said, "Stop! It's my grand baby. Don't you worry about it!" From that point on, I realized that it wasn't a big deal. It all worked out great once I got Brooke to sleep. Over all, it was definitely worth the hard work when it was all said and done. I would do it again!

Today was John's day off, so we went for a nice ride in the country. We love to do that! Then all 3 of us came home and took almost a 2 and half hour nap. We all snuggled up together and it was so nice! Now we're getting ready to go to my sister's house for pizza, wings, and a movie. Should be lots of fun!

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!! :-)

One Baby Is Fine For Now!

Lately I've been looking at pregnant women and getting really jealous. I look at their cute little bellies and their adorable maternity clothes. It just makes me remember the amazing experience of carrying and sustaining a whole other human's life for 9 months. I remember Brooke kicking me and how wonderful it was to have her with me, safe and secure, at all times. People would ask me about my due date and what gender the baby was. It was so exciting to pack my hospital bag and to create a beautiful nursery for Brooke. Looking back on that whole 9 months now, I just wish so badly that I had savored my pregnancy more and not wished it away like I did. I wish I had believed people when they told me that I glowed and that I was beautiful. In essence, I truly wish I cherished every pregnant moment that I had because I miss it greatly now.

I also get envious of pregnant women because pretty soon they are going to be in labor giving birth, which to me, is the most empowering, special thing a woman will ever do. It's crazy to me how you can hold your baby and totally forget the discomforts of pregnancy and the pains of childbirth. I cannot wait to be in labor again!

Well, as amazing as those things are, they are not enough to have a baby NOW. We want to wait awhile, obviously.. Maybe when Brooke's about a year and a half we'll try.

Today I had an eye-opening experience: My sister's husband had some teeth pulled, so I offered to watch my nephew, Nathan, who is almost 10 months old. I knew it would be a lot of work to watch him and Brooke by myself, but I figured that I could handle it. After all, I've seen Nathan almost every day of his life so he knows me and loves me. We all had such a fun time singing songs and playing with toys, but when Brooke wanted to eat, things really got crazy. Every time I would talk to Nathan to keep him occupied, Brooke would get distracted and stop eating, and every time I stopped talking to Nathan so Brooke could eat, he would cry. It was a lose-lose situation. Finally Brooke took a nap and Nathan and I played. Just when I almost had Nathan sleeping, Brooke woke up, which woke Nathan up.

I left my sister's house wondering how mothers are more than one kid do it. I always thought that the love you had for your kids is what made it possible. However, I adore my nephew and I honestly love him like my own, and obviously I love Brooke. There was PLENTY of love there today and it was still almost impossible. Maybe because they're only 6 months apart? I am truly excited to have more kids, but after today, I cannot help but question how mothers of 3 or 4 kids manage their households and still keep their sanity at the same time!

Well, I'm off to run some errands with the husband. Yay for it being the start of his days off! No work until Saturday at 11 P.M. HOORAY!! :-) I hope every one's enjoying the sunshine!!

Lazy Eater

I absolutely love the bond breastfeeding provides between Brooke and me. I love that it's so good for her and that she depends on me so much. However, I have one major challenge that we have been facing lately. The challenge is that she is SUCH a lazy eater. She'll eat for a few minutes and fall asleep. Then when I try to put her down, she'll wake up hungry. Therefore, our feedings at sleepy times are taking sometimes up to an hour. Do any of you breastfeeding mommies have an advice for me? Maybe there's something very small that I can do that will make a big difference. I am not even talking about cluster feedings here, either. It's not that she's eating an exceptional amount to store up for nighttime. It's obviously a problem related to her falling asleep. Please help! I am open to any suggestions!

In other news... Brooke is almost rolling over. We're at the point now that I'll put her on her tummy and she'll push off with her leg, but she can't quite figure out how to coordinate her hand to help her roll all the way over. Hopefully it won't be much longer until she can pull it together. She gets very frustrated in the midst of it. It's so cute to watch!

Well, that's all for me today. We have a busy, busy day because Wednesdays are always spent running errands and things for church on Wednesday nights. We won't be home until about 7:30 tonight.. Which is just enough time for Brooke's bath before AMERICAN IDOL! I'm SO excited for the finale. Let's go Jordin!

I hope everyone else is doing great! :-)

Pictures of the Princess

First and foremost, I would like to announce that Brooke's blood results came back totally fine!! Isn't that amazing? This time last month I was thinking that my baby had leukemia and I was a nervous wreck. All that worrying and anxiety was for absolutely NOTHING. Maybe that's why the Bible says to be anxious for nothing??!?!?! I definitely learned a lesson and my faith was strengthened greatly.

Brooke loves to suck her thumb, but she gags herself because she shoves it completely down her throat. It's so funny because you'll hear her gag herself over and over again. Well, this morning she gagged herself so bad that she made herself throw up. It was all over ME and our sheets (one disadvantage of co-sleeping). I think that maybe if we take her to a clinic for bulemia she'll get over this? Haha!

I am SO excited for American Idol tonight. I can't stand Blake. His beat boxing is just stupid and I do NOT find him attractive. He kind of has a gay man's style. I also heard that he's dating that nasty girl, Antonella, who was on American Idol earlier this season. NO WAY will he get my vote. Jordin was always my first pick to win anyways. I absolutely love her voice and she seems like a genuinely nice person. I can't wait to hear their songs. The finale shows are always the most exciting ones, too.

Thanks to my wonderful sister, here are a few pictures of my precious little princess! Isn't she perfect? Enjoy looking at them. As for me, I'm off to bake a cake for church tomorrow night. I hope everyone had a great day!

Brooke's favorite activity -- her bouncy seat.

Who needs intellectual conversation when you can speak with the Queen at any time?

Waiting on Results..

Hello! I hope all of you fellow bloggers are doing well today. As, for us, we're doing great. We had a busy, but fun day, as usual.

I called Brooke's pediatrician about her blood work. The nurse called me back and told me that so far the blood results looked good, but the pathology report had not come back yet, so they weren't 100 percent done looking them over. Brooke's doctor was going to call me as soon as he talked to the pathologist, but he didn't call me today, so I'm guessing they're not back yet. He's a great doctor who has called me from his home several times, so I'm sure that it's not laziness on his part. You better bet first thing in the morning I'll be on the phone with the doctor though! I'm a bit skeptical about hearing that they're "good so far" because last time they said that, the pathologist looked them over and discovered all kinds of things. I'm probably just being neurotic by worrying about it. I'm choosing to let it go and give it to God. I have to.. It's not healthy not to.

John had to work this evening, so in my complete boredom, here's something silly I came up with:

You Know You're A Mom IF...

~Some of your most important conversations include nothing but the word "goo."
~You call your spouse "daddy."
~You can make up a song for any occasion with no notice.
~Bodily functions occupy many of your thoughts and conversations.
~You eat very quickly and usually with only one hand.
~You can manage to feed a baby while typing with two hands.
~The diaper aisle excites you.
~Watching a baby is far more intriguing than anything on TV.
~Being sick or tired doesn't matter.
~Your heart if more full of love and joy than it ever has been before.

Rude Awakening!

Hello everyone! We just got done taking our usual Sunday nap (which has been our tradition since I can remember) and I was woken up to a screaming baby. That is not the norm for her, so I picked her up and tried to comfort her, and low and behold, mouths full of throw up fell all over me and got into my face and hair because I was still laying down. I just had laugh. Of course once she puked, she smiled and giggled. Now I have my happy baby back! Hooray! I love that girl so much. She can puke on her mommy any day! :-)

Church was crazy today. Our worship leader (who is my sister's husband) and my sister were gone, so that left a HUGE gap in our worship team. I consider myself a pianist...NOT a singer, but today, I had to do both. It was not my favorite thing to do, but I know that it's what's in the heart that really matters after all. On top of that, John and I had nursery duty today, as well. I felt like I was running back and forth all morning. Busy, busy day!

The graduation went very well yesterday. Brooke was the perfect baby the whole entire time. She only cried once and that was to eat, but other than that, she sat there contently and just took things in. She was definitely distracting many people, though. Everyone was looking at her and commenting on her cuteness. That always makes me feel so proud! Overall, it was a success!

I have always been self-conscious about my lack of education. I wasn't insecure about it because of ME, but because so many people gave me hurtful comments when I decided not to go back to college. However, yesterday at the graduation, I realized that while college is a major achievement for those that complete it, that it's totally fine not to go. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my siblings, my brother-in-law, my husband, and others who went to college, but because it wasn't what God was calling me to do, then it's perfectly fine that I didn't go. It was weird, because I looked at the graduates and didn't envy their "higher education" or where they were in life. In the past, I always felt like I had to explain to people why I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom and why I didn't get an education. I don't know why, but yesterday being at the college with all these intelligent people made me realize that being home with my baby is far better than getting an education just for the sake of making everyone happy. It just goes to show that God knows what's best. He truly granted me the desire of my heart by allowing me to stay home with Brooke. When I made the decision not to go back to school, it was a very trying time in my life because so many people scrutinized and questioned my plans. Those people can go soak their heads as far as I'm concerned! I'm glad that I have finally gotten past my insecurities that I had had in the past. I don't know why I let the comments of a few ignorant know-it-alls bring me down in the first place!

Well, now that I'm done ranting and raving, I'm going to go do some housework. Fun times, huh? I can't stand anything to be out of place in my house. I'm just weird like that. Have a great, relaxing Sunday!

Leave Me A Comment!

So I have been seeing that lots of people read my blog without commenting. Maybe you're afraid that I'll think you're weird for reading it? Who knows! I have been known to "stalk" people too so I COMPLETELY understand feeling weird about commenting. However, I like talking to people and hearing what people have to say.. Even if I don't know you all that well. Besides, I get very excited when I get comments. Don't you want to put a smile on my face? :-) My blog allows non-blogspot members to leave comments, so you really have no excuse!

So, yesterday's blood work was a total nightmare. We had to wake the poor baby up from her nap to have the blood drawn and she's NEVER happy when she wakes up. We then layed her on the table (which made her mad) and then they straightened her arm out to find a vein (making her even more mad). After searching and searching for a vein, they finally poked her and missed. I was about to tell them not poke her again, but I didn't want her to have to go back another day, so I kept my mouth shut. Finally they got her. It was by far the worst time yet. She screamed so much that she was sweating and she was so upset that she almost threw up. She had tears streaming down her face and it hurt me so bad to see her in that pain that I'm crying even now as I rehash this. I was crying hysterically and John was on the verge of tears too. AWFUL. Thank God it's over. Hopefully this is the end of it.

Well, I have to go to my brother-in-law's college graduation now. Hopefully the princess behaves during the ceremony.

I hope everyone's doing well! I'll be looking for some comments!!

I'm SO Nervous:-(

So, as some of you might know, Brooke's doctor ordered blood work on her about a month ago. She was throwing up so much and having a lot of problems in that area, so he thought he would check her blood to make sure everything was OK. Long story short, her blood work did not come back normal. She had a large amount of irregular white blood cells which are indicative of Leukemia. Of course my husband and I were VERY fearful to hear that word even used in the same sentence as our daughter's name.

It was a very, very rough time of fear. I was so lucky to have such wonderful family, friends, and an amazing husband because they all embraced me. They reminded me of God's provision and His sovereignty. God was reaching out for me, and in my fear, I closed him out. Finally, I allowed His peace to come over me and I told him that Brooke was his in the first place. NOT mine. Through God and the wonderful people He put in my life, I was able to relax much more.

We then had to wait to longest week in my entire life to take more blood. When they took the blood the next week, the number of abnormal blood cells decreased! That was great news because in Leukemia, each day you have progressively more abnormal white blood cells. The doctor said that she could possibly be fighting off an infection and that her body didn't have time to process the cells properly. He decided to wait 3 weeks to take her blood again because if it was just a virus, she would need time to rid her body of the irregular cells.

Well, today is the day that I have been anxious about. We're getting ready to go get MORE blood taken (this will be the 4th time). She screams so loud and she gets so mad that she holds her breath. Honestly, it's one of the worst things that I can imagine. It's sheer misery and I hate subjecting her to pain. John's amazing. He stays strong for both of us during the blood work, and I just stand there trying not to sob (which I always end up doing anyways). Because it's Friday, we probably won't know know the results until Monday. It will be a long weekend because Satan loves to just come in and try to defeat me. If you're reading this, would you please say a prayer for Brooke and for John and me? This has been a long battle in Brooke's short little life and I just so badly want closure. However, I have to accept God's will no matter what the outcome.

In more exciting news, today is John's day off. He doesn't go back in until Sunday night (he works 11 P.M until 7 A.M.). I love his days off. He is my best friend and I treasure the time we spend together. Surprisingly, his weird schedule works perfectly for our little family. At first, it was an adjustment because I missed sleeping next to him, but it's totally fine now. He sleeps during the day, which is just like him being at work, and then we have our evenings and some of our night together. We're also lucky because he works 4 days on and 2 days off. His work week just FLIES by.

Brooke is an amazing little sleeper! She sleeps from 11 (we're on daddy's weird schedule) until about 6 or 7. Occasionally she might wake up for a 3 or 4 o'clock feeding, but not usually. She wakes up when John comes in in the mornings and then she will eat and go back down until 9 or 10. She will sleep however long I let her. She LOVES to sleep. Usually in the mornings, I'm the one waking her up! Lol! I do have a confession though.. We co-sleep. So many people don't agree with it, but I'm under the belief that I'm the mommy and if it works for us then who cares what anyone else thinks. I blame the C-Section for starting the co-sleeping in the first place. I honestly couldn't sit up to get her out of her cradle, so I kept her right next to me from the very beginning. She has such bad reflux now that she chokes on her vomit, and I am not comfortable putting her down to choke in her sleep. I promise I'm not neurotic! It just doesn't set well with me to have her away from me. I would do co-sleeping all over again because it has worked SO well for us. I nurse her on my side and we both fall back asleep if she happens to wake up for a midnight snack. John works nights, so it is nice to have someone next to me! I do want to wean her from it though when the reflux settles down just because I want her to learn to sleep in her crib. I do NOT want a toddler in my bed.

Wow.. I rambled a lot today. Sorry! I hope everyone's doing well. :-) Have a fantastic day!

My Husband.. My hero!

I don't mean to brag, I really don't, but man, my husband is just the best. He's amazing. He's is the best father to our little girl and a wonderful husband to me all at once. I was just doing our dinner dishes after a long evening of grocery shopping, putting groceries away, cooking and trying to keep Brooke happy all at once. He went upstairs to change Brooke's diaper, and when I got up there to see what they were up to, she was in the bathtub. After all of the evening's stress, I needed that. It was such a HUGE help and encouragement to me. Wow! Now they're reading Amelia Bedelia, which allowing me to blog baby free for once!

Today I was contacted by an old childhood friend. We were great friends when we were in 3rd grade until we were in 6th grade. My family moved and we lost touch, and it made me feel so good to hear from her. I wonder if heaven will be like that... Being surrounded by old friends that you never realized you missed so much. It's great because she shares my faith and I look forward to sharing emails with her.

Well, I am off to go feed the princess. Daddy can only do so much to keep her happy when she's hungry! Hope all is well with everyone!

Diaper Debate

So, I've decided to rename my baby "Spike." The poor girl doesn't stand a chance of having her hair sit down. Her hair just constantly does it's own thing and it honestly looks like I spike her hair! Lol! It's so cute. I get so many comments about her hair when we're out and about. That's what big of a statement it makes!

My sister, who is a Pampers snob (Sorry Al!) had me believing that Pamper's Swaddlers are THE only diaper. However, I tried the new Huggies Cuddle Weave today and let me tell you, I'm in love. They just fit Brooke so much nicer and they are MUCH cuter. My mother-in-law has been buying us diapers since we found out I was pregnant, so I have tons of Pampers in Brooke's closet. I'm going to take them back pack by pack and get Huggies. Luckily my mother-in-law isn't the type to get offended over that kind of stuff, so I'm in the clear.

Here's my question? What do you do with a toddler all day long? Then again, what do you do with a preschooler all day long? Lately I've been worrying about the future when it comes to raising Brooke. Her being a baby is easy for me because I'm comfortable with it and I know what babies do. I'm excited to see her grown, but I do find myself wondering how a stay-at-home-mom fills her day when she has an older kid. Right now it's easy because I breastfeed her and play with her on her mat or just talk to her. Soon we'll have solid foods, then she'll walk and talk and crawl and do all kinds of things. I really hope that I can learn as I go about what to do with an older kid. This all sounds weird, but I just want to be an amazing mom. I'm sure my motherly instincts will take over as they have already.

I'm so excited for American Idol tonight. GO HOME BLAKE! I so want Jordin to win so if she goes, I'll be sad. Speaking of TV, I'm so sad that King of Queens is officially over. Man, I'm going to miss that show. No more fun times with Doug and Carrie Heffernan or Arthur:-( I think I might shed tears! Haha!

Well Brooke is sleeping so I'm off to be productive..

Holy Cow.. I have a 3 month old!

I am shocked that my baby is already 3 months old. Where in the world did all of that time go? I was telling my sister that when you're pregnant, 3 months seems like an eternity. However, when you have a baby, you can't keep up with the time. It's insane! It's happy and sad all at once to see her growing.

So, in honor of Brooke's birthday, I decided that I need to finally sit down for a few minutes and write down my birth story. I'm fascinated with birth stories! (If you already know it, feel free to bypass. This is mainly for me anyways!)

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007 (the day before my due date) we woke up to piles of snow. It was the first storm of the winter season and it was certainly making up for the lack of previous snow. John went outside to shovel before work (He was working 3-11 shifts at that point) and I just had this urge to nest. I cleaned out the refrigerator, did all of our laundry, mopped, vacuumed, and finished packing our hospital bag. For the past few days I had been trying EVERY method imaginable to induce my labor (eating an entire fresh pineapple among many other embarassing things) and with no signs of labor, I just resigned myself to going past my due date.

Since the roads were so bad, John decided it was best for me to go to my parents while he worked in case I needed something. All of his dispatch friends were on alert for me to go into labor! lol! All throughout the night with my parents, I was having mild contractions every 10 minutes. I decided to walk on my mom's treadmill hoping to speed them up..But no such luck! So, my mom and I made homemade cinnamon rolls and ate steak.

Finally around 11, John came to pick me up. The roads were horrible on the way home and I remember thinking, "Oh well, I guess it's good I'm not in labor with the roads being this bad." I went upstairs to relax and I felt slightly wet. I went to the bathroom and a saw bloody show which was shortly followed by a small gush of water. With my heart pounding non-stop, I yelled down the stairs, "Honey, I think my water broke." Rushing up the stairs, John came up and settled me down. We got a few last things together, called the hospital, and began the treacherous ride to the hospital.

The whole way to the hospital I kept asking John "What if my water really didn't break?" I just couldn't get that thought out of my head! Sure enough, though, they examined me at about 12:45 A.M. and discovered that it had broken. However, my cervix was completely closed and not at all efaced. They told me to try to get some rest and then they would induce me in the morning.

At about 6 A.M. on Thursday morning, my due date, the fun began. They started with blood work and they monitored Brooke's heart rate. Then at about 8, my midwife incerted a pill called Cytotec into my cerix in hopes of ripening it before giving me Pitocin. After monitoring Brooke for 2 hours, John and I walked around the hospital to try to get things going.

At about 12, my sister and mom showed up and I was starting to really feel the pain of the contractions. When the midwife came to reincert another Cytotec, the discovered that I was already 5 centimeters dilated! My sister, mom, and John helped me work on the birthing ball (which is AMAZING, by the way) and then I went into the tub. I came out of the tub around 2 and they said I was 7 centimeters! The midwife guessed that Brooke would arrive around 5. I resisted ANY type of medication, as I was determined to have a natural, drug-free delivery.

5 came and went... So did 6,7,8, and 9. I started pushing around 6:30-7 and finally at 8:45, the midwife told me that Brooke was stuck and I until 9 to try to push, and if not I would have to have a C-Section. At that point, I was so upset because I had worked SO hard to do it naturally, and I felt like a total failure. Right before they wheeled me off to the operating room, my mom came in and prayed with me and off I went.

In the operating room, they gave me a spinal anesthesia and let me tell you, I did not feel one more thing! It was CRAZY! I felt some tugging and at one point, I almost threw up because they were on my stomach, but the next thing I heard was the sound of my beautiful baby screaming! She came out precisely at 10:35 P.M with a huge cone head and with lots of bruises from being stuck. Quickly they whisked her away to clean her up and suction her because she had swallowed maconium.While they sewed me back up (or stapled, shall I say), they called back to the operating room to tell me she was 8 pounds, 4 ounces, and 21.5 inches long. About half an hour later, I was nursing my precious little girl and it felt SO good!

I didn't get to leave the hospital for 3 more days and the recovery was rough, but I have finally gotten over the fact that I couldn't do it naturally. I love my beautiful princess and I suppose it doesn't matter how she got here!

Hope you all enjoyed!!

Planting With My Little Puker

Today has been a very fun day! John had the day off (police officers never get normal days off!) so we were very productive.

We decided to get some flower plants to make our house look pretty, so off we went to Agway! Brooke screamed the whole time we were there, so finally I just took her out to the car and nursed her while John finished up. When we got home, John decided that Brooke should "learn to plant" so he put her little sun bonnet on her, plopped her in her bouncey seat, and outside they went. I stayed inside to make dinner and those 2 just had the greatest time out there. It was precious to listen to their deep conversations. Haha! When they came back in, he had somehow managed to get dirt on her face, but it didn't harm her and I figured that it's nothing a bath couldn't fix.

I was so excited because Brooke's annoying case of reflux seemed to disappear for about 3 days and I just knew she was growing out of it. However, it came back better than ever. It's crazy. The poor thing always smells like throw up and I give her baths and wash her up constantly. Not to mention, her clothes can never completely dodge her mass quantities of vomit, so we have been dirtying up extra loads of laundry lately. Poor little girl!

It's so funny because Brooke LOVES to be read to. I never knew a tiny baby could enjoy it, but she just lights up and talks the whole time I read. My mom signed her up for the Scholastic Book Club and I really look forward to getting more and more books. Yay! Being a mom is so much fun:-)

Well, my sister promised me that she would help me learn to post some pictures and make my blog more pretty. Hopefully I can make this more asthetically pleasing very soon!

I'm off to do some laundry... I'm rushing around to be all ready for the new episode of King of Queens. Gotta love that show! Have a good night!!

My First Mother's Day As A Mommy

Well today was obviously a very special day for me! It felt so good to actually be a mother on Mother's Day because it is SO special to have the title of "mom." In March of last year I had a miscarriage, and I remember Mother's Day feeling very sad and empty. Little did I know, Brooke was already in my belly then and we just didn't know it. I looked at her this morning and said of prayer of thanks that she is here in my arms, safe and sound. God is so good to me!

Last night I ran out to the movie store for a few minutes and I left Brooke with John for one of the first times. When I came home, he had her all bathed and ready for bed. I walked in the door and they were reading a story together. It was so precious to see him taking such good care of her. Plus it was nice to have a short break for a night!

This morning, John woke me up with a beautiful card (from Brooke, of course) and a wonderful gift. He got me a 90 minute massage! I'm a little bit anxious about leaving Brooke because I've only left her for 20 minutes at time, but I'm going to try to enjoy it. Massages are so relaxing, so I'm VERY excited. I was also happy because John had the day off. He only has Sunday's off every 6 week, so we lucked out.

After church, we had lunch with my parents and then we went over to John's parents house to hang out. Now we're home relaxing and enjoying our precious baby together! We're watching a movie later, which is one of my most favorite things to do.

So overall, I would say that my first Mother's Day was wonderful and I will always look back and remember how special I felt. I hope you all had a great Mother's Day as well!:-)

Here we go!

So the blogging begins! My sister and my mom have been encouraging me to start a blog because I love to write, so here goes nothing!

I truly love being a mother. I am actually nursing my beautiful little girl right now as I type this. She is so peaceful and content as I look down at her and I'm so unbelievably thankful that God entrusted her to ME! It's just amazing. I've decided that being a mom is my most favorite thing ever. As a little girl, you dream about being a mom, and once your dream finally comes true, it's so surreal. I love her little coos and giggles. I love our morning conversations. I love bath time and then story time. I don't love that she throws up and spits up all of the time, but I adore the fact that I am the one who gets to be there to clean her up and make her feel better. There is nothing about being a mother that I don't like. I'm not too incredibly fond of all of the laundry this little creature creates, but it's a small, small price to pay for all of the good stuff:-)

Our day started with a fun morning! Brooke and I went to breakfast with my mom, my sister, and my nephew Nathan. We love our pancakes! It was CRAZY because Nathan is 9 months old and he just loves to yell on the top of his lungs and knock over anything and everything within his reach. Heck, what am I saying? Even if something isn't in his reach, he somehow still manages to get it. HA! And of course, Brooke was fussy so we all passed her around the table a few times. While she was being passed from me to my mom, her tiny little feet almost knocked over my Diet Coke. Thankfully, though, we were somehow spared of that! I'm sure that people who were watching us must have been a bit taken back by the chaos, but it's ok, we love it. The poor waitress had a mess on her hands, but we were exceptionally nice and of course we left a generous tip.

Well, I suppose that this is good for a first blog. Right? Is it? HA! It's gonna have to be! Maybe I'll write more about myself at a later date. As for me, I am off to play with Brooke on her activity mat. She just loves that thing and her smiles and giggles while she's on it just captivate me! Have a great day!!!