Lately I've been looking at pregnant women and getting really jealous. I look at their cute little bellies and their adorable maternity clothes. It just makes me remember the amazing experience of carrying and sustaining a whole other human's life for 9 months. I remember Brooke kicking me and how wonderful it was to have her with me, safe and secure, at all times. People would ask me about my due date and what gender the baby was. It was so exciting to pack my hospital bag and to create a beautiful nursery for Brooke. Looking back on that whole 9 months now, I just wish so badly that I had savored my pregnancy more and not wished it away like I did. I wish I had believed people when they told me that I glowed and that I was beautiful. In essence, I truly wish I cherished every pregnant moment that I had because I miss it greatly now.
I also get envious of pregnant women because pretty soon they are going to be in labor giving birth, which to me, is the most empowering, special thing a woman will ever do. It's crazy to me how you can hold your baby and totally forget the discomforts of pregnancy and the pains of childbirth. I cannot wait to be in labor again!
Well, as amazing as those things are, they are not enough to have a baby NOW. We want to wait awhile, obviously.. Maybe when Brooke's about a year and a half we'll try.
Today I had an eye-opening experience: My sister's husband had some teeth pulled, so I offered to watch my nephew, Nathan, who is almost 10 months old. I knew it would be a lot of work to watch him and Brooke by myself, but I figured that I could handle it. After all, I've seen Nathan almost every day of his life so he knows me and loves me. We all had such a fun time singing songs and playing with toys, but when Brooke wanted to eat, things really got crazy. Every time I would talk to Nathan to keep him occupied, Brooke would get distracted and stop eating, and every time I stopped talking to Nathan so Brooke could eat, he would cry. It was a lose-lose situation. Finally Brooke took a nap and Nathan and I played. Just when I almost had Nathan sleeping, Brooke woke up, which woke Nathan up.
I left my sister's house wondering how mothers are more than one kid do it. I always thought that the love you had for your kids is what made it possible. However, I adore my nephew and I honestly love him like my own, and obviously I love Brooke. There was PLENTY of love there today and it was still almost impossible. Maybe because they're only 6 months apart? I am truly excited to have more kids, but after today, I cannot help but question how mothers of 3 or 4 kids manage their households and still keep their sanity at the same time!
Well, I'm off to run some errands with the husband. Yay for it being the start of his days off! No work until Saturday at 11 P.M. HOORAY!! :-) I hope every one's enjoying the sunshine!!
2 comments:
I really appreciate all the work you put into keeping Nathan. You are SOOOOOO sweet!
I'm not sure how mothers do it with 2 close in age, but I must be crazy because we're thinking about it!!
I sooo agree!! I can't imagine having another one just yet but I feel the same way about pregnant people. Now you realize why women would always smile at you when you were pregnant. It all makes sense!!
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