First Trimester Blues

I just want to preface this entire post by saying that I LOVE being pregnant and consider it a true blessing and privilege to carry a life for 9 months. There's nothing like it! It's worth the heartburn, weight gain, exhaustion, nausea, constant peeing, uncomfortable nights when you get big, itchy belly, etc...

Even though I adore being pregnant, I'm feeling really down on my body lately. I totally remember feeling this way with Brooke when I started to out-grow some of my clothes and so I know that this is normal, but still. Right now my perception of my body is causing me to struggle really bad with my self-image because I'm only 11 weeks along, yet my pants are starting to get tight. I can still zip my non-maternity pants and squeeze into them but it's not comfortable and I feel squished the whole day. It's also hard because my C-Section incision has felt really itchy and extremely sensitive lately and having the snug pants so tight up against it drives me up a wall! Another issue I have is that the only maternity pants that I have in petite sizes (remember, I'm short) are full panel pants and I certainly don't need those yet! I only discovered Old Navy's petite maternity jeans when I was about 8-months pregnant with Brooke, so I never bought adjustable waist pants for early pregnancy with her, which is why I have NONE. Old Navy is having sale so I'm going to buy a few pairs of jeans and dress pants and I'm hoping that that will help my struggles some.

I just feel so stupid for needing adjustable waist pants at 11 weeks. Goodness, I'm not even in the 2Nd trimester and I'm already talking maternity clothes here. I know that it's normal to show earlier with subsequent pregnancies and with Brooke I started to get a little belly around 13 weeks, so this isn't THAT early, but mentally I feel like I'm just turning into some big fat cow. Once I have a real belly I'll enjoy it and love it, but until then, I think I might just stop looking at myself in the mirror!

On top of my ever-growing-waistline, I have zits on my face now too. ZITS! I never, ever break out (unless, of course, I'm pregnant). I have this huge pimple on my chin and several other blemishes scattered across my face. I'm not one to fuss over makeup and such... Usually I apply it in the morning and maybe touch up my blush in the afternoon. Lately, however, I've felt the need to constantly keep my face touched up because it's embarrassing to look like this. Again, I know that this is just part of it but it's hard for me to feel beautiful!

Bottom line: It's scary to see your body changing so much, even though you know it's normal. I was just starting to feel pretty good about my appearance after Brooke's birth and then I got pregnant. I'm THRILLED to be pregnant and I repeat.... It's so worth it! I just wish that I would stop battling myself and realize that this is only a minor, temporary feeling and that soon it will be a distant memory!