Happy 21-month birthday, Brookie girl! Wow... 3 short months and my girl will be 2! Unbelievable! Where in the world did the time go?
I sit here with tears in my eyes because of the rough day we had... Yes, again. When I look at Brooke I see the pride of my life, the person I love with all of my heart, and this precious little baby who I live to take care of. However, lately, she's been so miserable and defiant so we've had to do a lot more spankings, time-outs, and other disciplinary measures. All of this is tearing me apart. Granted, she's generally a happy kid with a wonderful personality, but she has moments throughout the day where she becomes extremely willful and blatantly disobedient. It wouldn't be as bad, but once Brooke gets in one of these moods, it takes us about 20 minutes (at least) to get her back. Every spanking or smack of the hand that I inflict upon her is so painful for me and it kills me to know that this is just the very beginning of what it's like to raise a child properly.
I'm used to having a very compliant, happy-go-lucky toddler and this sudden stage of defiance has really taken me by storm. It was hard because Brooke woke up from her nap a complete monster and after 3 spanking and time in the corner, I thought that our rough patch of the day was behind us.... But, we went off to the grocery store for a few things, the child downright refused to sit in the cart and screamed hysterically when I tried to make her. This took a trip to the restroom for a spanking and it broke my heart to have to do that. Brooke is rarely misbehaved when we're in public... If she's going to act up, 95% of the time it's at home, for some reason. The whole incident at the store today was so hard on me, especially because John wasn't there.
I am so blessed to be Brooke's mom. I am. There's no denying that. I realize that she is God's child, not mine, and that I need to constantly be seeking Him for wisdom and strength the be the best parent I can be, but on days like this I just feel so discouraged. I try so hard to be a patient, loving mom yet I feel like a failure when I can't get Brooke to comply. I know that this is probably the song of every toddler's mom so I'll bank on the fact that this is normal?!!?? I'm already crying now... Can you imagine when she's a teenager? YIKES!
1 comment:
Hudson went through the same exact thing around that age...then when he got to be officially two, it stopped! I think the most important thing is being consistent which is also the hardest thing. They are at the age where they want to test you and see what they can get away with. It absolutely killed me to give more spankings and naughty steps too so i know how you feel, but you will get through it. I remember feeling like I was doing something wrong but really, it's just a little phase. This too shall pass! :0)
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