Tomorrow is my appointment with my OBGYN. If we hadn't have had the hiccup in the road last week then it would have been our first check-up for the baby. Part of me feels glad that the scare happened because as a result of that we've already seen the baby's heartbeat and had our first ultrasound. On the other hand, however, the spotting that I had has made me feel kind of neurotic about things. I obsess over my symptoms... If I'm cramping (or not cramping), if I'm not throwing up as much as I think I should be, if I have other distinct pregnancy symptoms, etc... I seriously over-analyze everything because I'm so anxious about losing this baby. I hate it because I know this is wrong!
I would like to say that tomorrow will "fix" all of my worrying problems and that I'll instantaneously have every little worry stripped away from me, but I'm pretty sure that I'll come up with new worries. I hate how I do this to myself. The Bible says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in all things prayers and petitions." If I trust the Bible and believe it to be absolute truth (which I definitely do!), then why am I continually plagued with worry? I'll admit, pregnancy is a very scary thing at first because there are so many unknowns, but that does NOT mean that God can't handle it. Gosh, Jillian, let itgo! I'm working on that...
I'm thankful that my appointment is at 9 tomorrow so I'll have it out of the way first thing in the morning. That will leave me less time to stew over the possibilities of what could be wrong. My mind likes to wander away from me while waiting! Please be praying for me tomorrow. I'll update as soon as I possibly can!
2 comments:
Thinking of you and praying for you as you go tomorrow. You have every reason to believe that your little peanut is still alive and well!!
Keep me posted. Love you lots!
I know the feeling! Every time I had another appointment I'd say "maybe I'll stop worrying after this one" but even now, at 23 weeks, I'm still finding things to worry about!
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