Thursday, October 16, 2008

I Confess, I'm In OVER MY HEAD!

I'm not trying to be overly dramatic or anything, but I seriously think I'm having a nervous breakdown! I have been pretty sick with this baby and I feel like my whole house is in shambles because of it... In reality, I need to vacuum, organize Brooke's playroom, fold some more laundry, and mop the floors, which isn't TOO bad, I guess. It's so hard to get to everything I need to get to when I'm busy throwing up and feeling nauseous constantly, on top of chasing a 20-month-old around the house.

Right now I want to vacuum upstairs so badly because I haven't done it yet this week but John threatened me within an inch of my life not to carry the vacuum up here. People hear that your doctor tells you to take it easy and they go gaga! Lol! I have a wonderful husband who has been truly amazing and helpful, but I just feel like I'm slacking. I keep reminding myself that the first trimester is exhausting with the sickness and everything and that it will pass, but I'm getting so discouraged. John has offered to take over the laundry but the man works so much that I like to be the keeper of the home that I'm supposed to be. I do NOT accept help well from others and I have to keep reminding myself that John and I are team and I'm not some failure to let him pick up my slack a little more.

With Brooke I was sick like this until about 14/15 weeks and then life got a lot easier. I specifically remember still being sick until then because we went to a graduation party in Buffalo when I was 14 weeks pregnant with Brooke and I threw up at McDonald's. The things we never forget! Lol! I hope and pray that maybe the morning (or all day) sickness goes away quickly. It's horrible but so very worth it to carry a healthy baby.

With all this being said, I think I'm going to go fold some laundry and slowly but surely my house will hopefully be up to my standards. I am constantly learning that housework isn't everything but it still drives me insane!!!

1 comment:

rccalyn said...

Ah yes, the misery! I was so miserable that I took an entire month off of work (my sis took over), mothering (well, not literally, but Rach took Marissa with her to my nanny job for half the day), and any/all housekeeping/cooking (I literally didn't cook a meal the entire time - Dan and Rach attempted ATTEMPTED to fill in). It was awful. I never realized how much I like things done a certain way! I also was putting myself on bedrest because I was so paranoid about another miscarriage. So I literally didn't do a thing. And as hard as I tried, I never felt guilty. Lol. I can tell that we are EXTREMELY different in our approaches to housekeeping/cooking. But you must realize that IT'S OK to be "lazy" and behind in those areas. Especially in the first trimester when you're miserable. So just sit back and relax! You can catch up in a month or so :-) That tiny life is WAY more important than a nice house or fancy meals (which I'm sure you know, but it's hard to put into practice!)