John got a phone call from his lieutenant yesterday informing him that he was switched from the night shift to the evening shift:-( This is a HUGE deal for our family because it changes our schedule drastically and we'll be seeing a whole lot less of each other. He was working from 11 P.M to 7 A.M. which made for lonely nights, but he would be up around 3 or 4 in the afternoon and we would have hours together. Now, with this new shift, he'll be working from 3 P.M. until 11 P.M. When John was on this shift the last time he never got home until 1 or 2 because it's so busy that most of the time he's required to stay late.
I'm dreading that we won't be able to have dinners together anymore. I think that that's so important to the family dynamic and I'm really going to miss that. It's also a really hard shift because I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to wait up late for him when Brooke is now waking up at 7 or so. In my head I just can't figure out the logistics of how all of this will work and I'm really scared of how our life is about to change.
This shift is going to drain or relationship, I'm afraid, because John and I won't get much alone time. With his schedule now, Brooke goes to bed at 8 and we have from 8-10:30 to ourselves. Now, we'll be up in the mornings (John will most likely sleep several hours later than us though) and have the afternoons together, but it won't be one-on-one couple time like we used to have... It will be 100 percent infused with Brooke. However, I'm just now thinking this, maybe I can put her down for her nap around 12 and John and I can have a few hours of relaxation together before he goes to work? We'll have to figure something out. As much as we love our baby and enjoy parenting her, we really do need a little bit of adult time each day so we can openly communicate with one another and have time to connect.
So, to think of the positives, I'm brainstorming some GOOD things about this shift:
1. We get to go to Sunday morning church together (never mind that he can't come on Wednesday nights now).
2. We get to sleep together at night... Which is awesome!
3. John won't be so tired all of the time so hopefully he'll be able to feel semi-normal, which I really want for him.
4. I'm going to make us a nice lunch every afternoon (which will replace our nice dinner) and we'll have that to look forward to.
Wow, I really had to reach for those positive things but I'm trying so hard. God will never give us anything more than we can handle, but right now, I feel so burdened by this and like I don't know how I'll carry the load. This is a HUGE change for us and I'm praying that God will help us get through. It could be worse, right? He could be in Iraq or something awful like that, so I have to keep it all in perspective!