8 Months Have Flown By!

Today my precious little girl is 8 months old! Where did the time go? I'm honestly teary eyed to think about how quickly the time has flown. It's so weird though because even though the time has gone quickly, it's hard for me to remember Brooke as that helpless little newborn. As much as I tried to cherish the early days with her, I wish I had relished in them much more than I did.

I never knew how much motherhood would change me. I never would have never guessed how my list of things that frighten me, excite me, and matter to me would change like it has. The world's a different place now. I was never quite as afraid of the injustices of the world until I realized that I had a child to bring up in this cruel place. I was never excited about someone saying "duck," or someone taking a good nap. Things that once mattered, like my hair looking perfect, my house being immaculate at all moments of the day, or that I got plenty of time for MYSELF, simply don't carry the same significance as they did before Brooke. My whole way of thinking and the way I go about my life has changed so dramatically.

Sometimes I think about the days before Brooke. I would sleep in late, go to work at my silly little Red Lobster job, come home and relax the rest of the night with my husband. My Red Lobster money was my "fun" money so I shopped a lot and ate lunch out more days of the week than not. John and I also used to live at the movie theater. If there was a good movie we were most likely out watching it. Looking back on it, the months leading up to Brooke's birth were so easy and fun. I really had no worries or huge responsibilities that would prevent me from doing my own thing. As easy as those days were, I wouldn't trade having my baby girl for anything. Her very existence has transformed my life, but most importantly, my heart.

I am so sappy, I know. Every month I have these intense feelings that are related to the fact that I mull over the events of Brooke's birth and her life. I say it all the time, but I'm just shocked at how much I love her. I want to do the best possible job at being her mommy because I only have one chance!