I wish I could sit behind this computer and ramble on and on about how wonderful today was and how great things are going in my life. The truth is that I have an amazing life and there are so many good things that I could mention about my day. However, I am overcome with emotions and sadness for no apparent reason. I really don't know what's up with me at the moment.
On the way home from church I just started thinking about some things and ever since then I have felt like a hormonal, basket-case teenager. What's my problem? Holy cow!I wish I could just snap the heck out of this. I'm not angry at anyone or anything, yet somehow I feel like I could just weep for hours if someone asked me how I was.
Some days I feel so unlovable, so not beautiful and so annoying. In my head I know that none of these things are true, but when I'm feeling crappy I let my mind go to these types of places and it really destroys me. These are not healthy thoughts so I know that I really need to put them to rest!
For some reason I've been overly exhausted lately. I'm always wiped out and when I actually DO get the chance to sleep I can't sleep. This is so not like me. I'm usually a ball of energy and I never have issues falling asleep. This hasn't been the case for several weeks now. I think that being perpetually sleepy is catching up with me right now and I'm guessing that that's why I'm feeling so sad.
I am just venting here. Nothing is wrong with me and tomorrow morning all of these thoughts will vanish. Sometimes, every once in a while, I get in these funks and I have to snap myself out of them. I live a very blessed and fulfilled life and I instead of wallowing in self-pity, I should really be counting my blessings and enjoying the present! After all, tomorrow is not promised.
Wow, I sound so depressing. Because this is my journal though, I can't be expected to always be upbeat and positive. Right?? After this post, I assure you that I won't be so pessimistic anymore.
So, on that note I better go make John's lunch and wake up him so he can get ready for work. That sounds like a great way to cheer myself up. BLAH!
1 comment:
I know exactly how you feel. I feel like this often too. It is not an every day thing but when I get that feeling it last for a few weeks. I did some research and these are some of the symptoms of depression.
I am in the exact boat as you. I have everything, and I feel selfish being sad for nothing .. but I cannot help it.
I have no clue what it is though. It may be some form of depression, but I don't think I could ever be depressed.
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