Saturday, February 2, 2008

Like A Man Without A Country

I'm starting to feel like I don't have a "country." :-( We're supposed to move at the end of this month and I'm trying to get all of our stuff packed away. Though I haven't started to really pack stuff up yet, I've been going through all of our things and throwing away useless crap. I'm thrilled that we're moving into a bigger house but right now I feel so torn between what my home is NOW and what my home will be at the end of this month. Pretty soon this will not be my place of rest, relaxation, and comfort. That's kind of sad, if you ask me!

This house holds a lot of sentimental value to me. I can remember coming home from my honeymoon to this house. I'll never forget that amazing feeling of freedom and maturity that I felt that night as I slept in my new house. I can't really explain that feeling but it felt so amazing and surreal. Every night in the beginning seemed like a slumber party to me! I think it's hard just because this was our very first house and I'll never, ever forget the wonderful memories that we've made within these walls... These very SMALL walls, shall I say!

For some reason, I'm the most sad about leaving Brooke's room behind. Both of her grandpas put many hours into making her nursery a beautiful place of rest for her. It's really a precious little room and I hate to think of leaving it behind. I know that we can recreate her nursery and that she'll have a nice room at the new house, but it still makes me sad when I think about it!

Also, there are the memories of going into labor in this house, bringing Brooke home from the hospital to this house, and spending those first few weeks after her birth in this house. For hours on end we would sit in our living room and nurse, nurse, nurse, it seemed. That little living room has been a place where many precious things have happened... The first time Brooke rolled over, where she took her first steps, where she learned to crawl, etc... Every time I remember all of those great little things in her life, I'll remember THIS house.

Like I've said before, John's brother is buying our house. I'm really happy for him because it's a great little property and I know that he and his fiance will make lasting memories here too. However, part of me is struggling with the fact that they'll be living here because I'll be aware of the changes they make. While they're entitled to change any little thing they want, seeing those changes will almost make me feel a bit nostalgic. I think that the first time I see Brooke's room without her princess border on the wall, I might feel a little bit sad. Again, her room has this special meaning to me. I'm so sappy! I hope that I'm not coming across like I'll be mad or offended at them for changing things... Because that's only natural! I'm just saying that it might be a little bit emotional when I think about how we used to live here.

All in all, I am SO excited about our new house. I keep telling myself that we're going to bring future babies home to that house and we're going to have so much more room to have family and friends over. I can't wait to see what fun memories we'll make there throughout the years. I'm sure that I'll feel better after we get settled, but in the mean time, when I'm between the 2 houses, I think that I just might be feeling a tad be sad. It will all work out. I'm sure of it!

Okay, I'm going to go pack John's lunch and send him out the door. Again, freaking Blogger won't let me spell check so please excuse any errors that you may find. I don't understand what the problem is with these people! What do you want for a free blogging service though????!?!?!??!

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