I'm sick of this society that seems to live by the following equation:
2-3 years of dating+ 1 year of engagement+ 4 years of college+ 3-5 years of marriage before having children+ 3 kids+ 2 cats+ 1 dog= Happily ever after! That means that my life is a mess! Lol!
We all went out to breakfast this morning and in the course of conversation this topic happened to come up. I'm not mad at anyone or anything, but every time it comes up I sometimes feel "inferior" for not going to college, for having a baby so quickly, etc..
I'm so sick of people saying to my brother and his wife (who aren't having kids right away and want to wait several more years) that "That's the best decision," Or "Good for you guys. You'll be happy you waited." Here's the thing, I'm happy for my brother and his wife for waiting to have a baby because they are not ready. My brother's wife is fulfilling her dream to become a teacher first. GOOD FOR HER!!! I don't look down on them and I'm proud of them for chosing the choices that they feel like God is calling them to wait. HOWEVER, just because it's good for them doesn't mean that John and I should have waited to have Brooke. Sometimes I feel like people look down on me because of how quickly we had her and maybe it's in my head, but I feel people tend to think that I'm not as good of a mom because of it or that John and I have a really "rocky" marriage. Let me just say, my marrige to John has it ups and downs, but you will never find 2 people more committed, more in love, or as happy as we are. As for Brooke, I would never, ever have done things differently than the we did them if I had the chance to.
Looking back to when I was first pregnant with Brooke, there were people in my church and in my life that were not even happy for me. Can you believe that? Someone had the audacity to tell me that it was sad for me and John to not have much time together before a child. SAD????????????? Brooke has enriched our lives so much and the thought of anyone saying that her addition to our life is SAD just breaks my heart. It's not like she was conceived out of wedlock and that John and I are living some awful, horrendous life. She was created in God's image and in HIS timing and He's allowed us to provide for her needs. Poor pitiful us, huh?
I also get really ticked when people look down on me for not going to college. A man in our church was so blantantly rude to me about it that he literally made me cry. He said a whole series of inappropriate comments about it and it really hurt me at the time and I felt like such a low life. It's funny because I can even remember as far back to grade school telling people that I wanted to a be a wife and a mommy. Even in high school my teachers encouraged me to go to college and then fulfill that, but I never dreamed of anything else in the universe but being a homemaker. Good for me, I'm living my dream! If I was doing anything else I honestly would not be reaching the goals I've set for myself. Why is that so hard for people to understand?
People at my work, which was Red Lobster at the time, and others in my life also thought that it was ridiculous that we got married when I was 20 and John was 23. I had been dating John since I was in high school and we were in love and commtitted. He provided (and still does) for my needs and we were both ready for marriage, yet somehow more people than you can believe insisted that we weren't ready for such a big step. I had people at my work literally tell me that it would end in divorce. Give me a break! Nobody close to me (like family) objected to us getting married so young but I hated feeling looked down upon by so many.
I don't know why I let people bother me so much. Really, why the heck do I give so much credence to the rude comments of idiotic people? I'm sick of explaining myself, feeling inadequate because of my choices, and letting people steal my joy. I wish I could be more like John, who honestly doesn't give a rat's flip what dumb people say. I'm happy, I'm serving the Lord as best as I know how, and I'm living my dreams. With all that being said, I have a great life. Who cares if anyone else in the universe accepts that? All I know is that I've defied the "equation" and I'm living happily ever after:-)
1 comment:
Good for you! I appreciate (and understand I think) so much of what you just said. And I think that most people (myself included) are so sefl-centered that we think that whatever way we live out our lives is the best not only for us, but for everyone. I completely know how you feel about people telling you that you are making mistakes in your life, when you know as best you can that it is God's will for you.
There was a teacher in high school that actually told me that I was wasting my talents and life by going to school for PE. This person said that anyone could be a PE teacher and I shouldn't waste 4 years of school on it and I should go for something different. I remember crying my eyes out because teaching PE was what my dream was.
And now, not that they are mean about it, but people at church are "surprised" that I do not have a (and i quote) "young man attached to my arm" and "what am i planning on doing after college if i'm not going to get married?" I guess we can never be good enough for anyone else huh! But it doesn't matter because if we are in God's will, we are good enough for him!!!
Well that was kinda long and I hope it wasn't too rambley!
Post a Comment