Well, today is the long awaited moving day! I can't even believe that after everything we've gone through that this whole moving thing is coming to a close. We have been faced with some HUGE disappointments, uncertainty, and frustration but God sustained us and today we'll be able to put that all behind us. I'm so ready for that. I'm ready to make a new home for my family and to start building new memories.
I spent the night crying last night as I realized that it was our last night in our first home. I remembered our first night we spent here, our first Christmas together, bringing Brooke home to the room that was made especially for her, and all the other hours of laughter and time spent together within these walls. The house may be small but it was OUR house and we didn't really care as long as we had each other. The 2+ years that we spent here were precious years to me. Years that I will always remember fondly.. I don't even know what it's like to not live HERE. I guess that's what makes this whole thing so unsettling! I know that a home is made by the people and not the structure itself, but right now I'm having a hard time fathoming that this is NOT home, nor will it ever be again.
I'm feeling sentimental and sad, but I'm also feeling exciting. I love that John and I are turning the page to the next chapter in our life together. It's an adventure to uproot our lives and I can't wait to see all of the things that God blesses us with along the way.
What am I doing spending time on this sappy post? I need to finish packing!! We close at 1 this afternoon and then the fun begins. I won't be on for a few days, so bye for now!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
A Short And Sweet Update on Brooke
Brooke slept like garbage last night. She was up at 12 and 2:30 and she wanted to nurse for much of the night. Just when I get the kid sleeping through the night she goes and pulls this on me!
She's been her happy self all day, except for a MAJOR fussy period before bed, followed by diarrhea. Usually throw up follows her diarrhea so I've been going in her room to check on her like a nut case. Every time the kid coughs I zoom up the stairs! Tomorrow morning she's "due" to throw up (if she continues her every 48 hours pattern) but I'm hoping that this sickness will TRULY be over. I'm almost nervous to wake up in the morning! Wish us luck....
Brooke has been wanting to nurse ALL DAY these last couple of days. Seriously, I feel like I have a newborn again. I love my baby and I love nursing, but I must admit that our prior nursing schedule of 2-3 times a day was kind of nice. I have felt so tied down by her incessant demand to nurse. To help her stomach out I 've been keeping her from drinking whole milk over the last couple of days and I'm sure that that probably has some impact on her nursing patterns. On a regular day she drinks quite a bit of cow's milk.
Okay, I'm just too tired to say much more today. It's been such a long week so I think I'm going to go make John's lunch and then crash. Goodnight!
She's been her happy self all day, except for a MAJOR fussy period before bed, followed by diarrhea. Usually throw up follows her diarrhea so I've been going in her room to check on her like a nut case. Every time the kid coughs I zoom up the stairs! Tomorrow morning she's "due" to throw up (if she continues her every 48 hours pattern) but I'm hoping that this sickness will TRULY be over. I'm almost nervous to wake up in the morning! Wish us luck....
Brooke has been wanting to nurse ALL DAY these last couple of days. Seriously, I feel like I have a newborn again. I love my baby and I love nursing, but I must admit that our prior nursing schedule of 2-3 times a day was kind of nice. I have felt so tied down by her incessant demand to nurse. To help her stomach out I 've been keeping her from drinking whole milk over the last couple of days and I'm sure that that probably has some impact on her nursing patterns. On a regular day she drinks quite a bit of cow's milk.
Okay, I'm just too tired to say much more today. It's been such a long week so I think I'm going to go make John's lunch and then crash. Goodnight!
Friday, April 25, 2008
I THINK I MIGHT FREAK OUT!!!!
Brooke slept great last night! She went down at 8 and didn't come into our bed until about 5 A.M. or so. I would have pushed for her to stay in her crib a little bit longer but I figured that she's getting over this bug so I wouldn't be too tough on her. So, into my bed she came. We drifted peacefully off to sleep together. My windows were open so I could hear the birds chirping and I could feel and smell the beautiful Spring air. As I was trying to fall back asleep I was envisioning the wonderful day ahead of us... Maybe we would go for a walk? Maybe to to the park for a picnic? I didn't really know, but I knew that we would spend it soaking up the wonderful weather.
At 7 A.M., however, I suddenly realized that my day would not be spent basking in the sun, like I had previously thought. I was rudely awakened by a warm splash on my face. I wasn't quite conscious yet, as I had been in a deep sleep, but I felt this
"substance" trickle into my ears, my hair, and all over my clothes. I then felt another splash, which landed all over my neck and then all down my shirt. Next, I heard Brooke crying, which is always something that causes me to wake up suddenly. I soon discovered that my daughter had thrown up ALL over me and all over my sheets and pillows. Luckily for Miss Brooke, she didn't have a drop of vomit on her. Lol! Isn't it funny how that works? Yes, I took a "bullet" for my daughter today. John doesn't get home until 7:30 so I couldn't jump in the shower so I gave Brooke a bath, in hopes that that would make her feel better. 20 LONG, nasty minutes later, John came home and I jumped in the shower IMMEDIATELY. There's nothing quite like being drenched in your baby's throw up.
After my shower Brookie was acting tired and hungry. Just as I have the other sick days this week, I nursed her haphazardly. 2 hours later we woke up and Brooke was happy and she had kept all of her milk down. Sounds pretty identical to Sunday and Wednesday, huh?
Because I am so very baffled by this bug (or whatever it is) I made her a doctor's appointment. This just didn't seem right to me. She's happy, energetic, sleeping well, eating about the same as usual, she no longer has diarrhea and she doesn't have a fever... Does THAT sound like a sick baby to you? So, I explained that to my doctor and he said that it does sound very odd. He listened very thoroughly to me and then he gave Brooke a physical exam to make sure she checked out okay. He said that everything looks normal and he wonders if she's just processing this bug differently than most babies do. He said that if this continues over the weekend that on Monday we're going to do some blood work and run some tests. He decided that he wanted to wait this out because if it's only a bug there's no sense in poking and prodding her. So, I'm happy about that decision. I'm hoping and praying that she won't throw up again. I feel awful for her and it's really got to be getting old for her. Poor baby!
So, please be thinking of us. Brookie needs prayers right now! As for me, I don't want to be selfish, but I'm feeling really stir-crazy and discouraged right now. I've pretty much been housebound the whole week and on top of that, I'm really concerned for my baby. I'm trying so hard to be a good mama but right now I'm kind of feeling like I want to have a meltdown!
At 7 A.M., however, I suddenly realized that my day would not be spent basking in the sun, like I had previously thought. I was rudely awakened by a warm splash on my face. I wasn't quite conscious yet, as I had been in a deep sleep, but I felt this
"substance" trickle into my ears, my hair, and all over my clothes. I then felt another splash, which landed all over my neck and then all down my shirt. Next, I heard Brooke crying, which is always something that causes me to wake up suddenly. I soon discovered that my daughter had thrown up ALL over me and all over my sheets and pillows. Luckily for Miss Brooke, she didn't have a drop of vomit on her. Lol! Isn't it funny how that works? Yes, I took a "bullet" for my daughter today. John doesn't get home until 7:30 so I couldn't jump in the shower so I gave Brooke a bath, in hopes that that would make her feel better. 20 LONG, nasty minutes later, John came home and I jumped in the shower IMMEDIATELY. There's nothing quite like being drenched in your baby's throw up.
After my shower Brookie was acting tired and hungry. Just as I have the other sick days this week, I nursed her haphazardly. 2 hours later we woke up and Brooke was happy and she had kept all of her milk down. Sounds pretty identical to Sunday and Wednesday, huh?
Because I am so very baffled by this bug (or whatever it is) I made her a doctor's appointment. This just didn't seem right to me. She's happy, energetic, sleeping well, eating about the same as usual, she no longer has diarrhea and she doesn't have a fever... Does THAT sound like a sick baby to you? So, I explained that to my doctor and he said that it does sound very odd. He listened very thoroughly to me and then he gave Brooke a physical exam to make sure she checked out okay. He said that everything looks normal and he wonders if she's just processing this bug differently than most babies do. He said that if this continues over the weekend that on Monday we're going to do some blood work and run some tests. He decided that he wanted to wait this out because if it's only a bug there's no sense in poking and prodding her. So, I'm happy about that decision. I'm hoping and praying that she won't throw up again. I feel awful for her and it's really got to be getting old for her. Poor baby!
So, please be thinking of us. Brookie needs prayers right now! As for me, I don't want to be selfish, but I'm feeling really stir-crazy and discouraged right now. I've pretty much been housebound the whole week and on top of that, I'm really concerned for my baby. I'm trying so hard to be a good mama but right now I'm kind of feeling like I want to have a meltdown!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A Potpourri Of Thoughts
I have way too much to say today to create an organized post. I'm copping out and using bullets today!
~Recovering From The Bug: Brooke is all better today! She slept through the night last night (which was a huge relief) and she woke up completely fine! She hasn't even had diarrhea or any other residual side effects today. Yay for a fast-moving bug! John's feeling much better too. We're on the mend!!
~Moving: A closing date has been set for Monday!!!! We're so fortunate because John is off Monday and Tuesday so it we'll be able to get most of our stuff moved in those couple of days! I'm really excited, as you can all imagine. I can't even imagine living life in a house that's not too small. It's gonna feel so nice to spread out and not have baby toys crammed in little crevices throughout the house. Poor Brooke will actually be able to have room for her massive amounts of toys!
I'm feeling a little bit emotional about this move. I don't do well with change so that in itself is hard. I know that once we get settled that I feel better, but it's still really hard to imagine living somewhere other than here... Our first home. I feel so unsettled, even though I'm excited.
~American Idol: I am OUTRAGED that Carly Smithson went home. This is absolutely ridiculous. As much as I love Brooke White and Jason Castro, they were both WAY worse that Carly. Carly has this amazing talent and I know she'll go far, but it just stinks when you see a less-deserving person stay over someone as dynamic as Carly. So sad!
~Thoughts On Baby #2: It's not a secret that John and I want to start trying for another baby in a few months. We truly feel ready and we've prayed about it... BUT, whenever I watch A Baby Story and hear these moms say how crazy life gets after baby #2, it really discourages me. I love being a mommy and I can't imagine anything greater than another little human life to love and care for, but these frazzled moms on TV kind of scare me. I seriously need to STOP watching that show! A Baby Story really freaked me out about labor and delivery before I gave birth to Brooke, so I guess that show just plays with my mind all together???
~A Different Shift For John: We're not trying to get our hopes up or anything, but John heard is sergeant talking to someone about shift assignments and John really thinks that he got DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like I said, I'm trying not to get too excited, but I really hope it works out. I can't imagine anything more perfect or wonderful than having a husband with normal hours. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but I'm also praying that God will help me be satisfied regardless.
So, I think that completes everything that's been on my mind today. I'm glad I could get it all out!
~Recovering From The Bug: Brooke is all better today! She slept through the night last night (which was a huge relief) and she woke up completely fine! She hasn't even had diarrhea or any other residual side effects today. Yay for a fast-moving bug! John's feeling much better too. We're on the mend!!
~Moving: A closing date has been set for Monday!!!! We're so fortunate because John is off Monday and Tuesday so it we'll be able to get most of our stuff moved in those couple of days! I'm really excited, as you can all imagine. I can't even imagine living life in a house that's not too small. It's gonna feel so nice to spread out and not have baby toys crammed in little crevices throughout the house. Poor Brooke will actually be able to have room for her massive amounts of toys!
I'm feeling a little bit emotional about this move. I don't do well with change so that in itself is hard. I know that once we get settled that I feel better, but it's still really hard to imagine living somewhere other than here... Our first home. I feel so unsettled, even though I'm excited.
~American Idol: I am OUTRAGED that Carly Smithson went home. This is absolutely ridiculous. As much as I love Brooke White and Jason Castro, they were both WAY worse that Carly. Carly has this amazing talent and I know she'll go far, but it just stinks when you see a less-deserving person stay over someone as dynamic as Carly. So sad!
~Thoughts On Baby #2: It's not a secret that John and I want to start trying for another baby in a few months. We truly feel ready and we've prayed about it... BUT, whenever I watch A Baby Story and hear these moms say how crazy life gets after baby #2, it really discourages me. I love being a mommy and I can't imagine anything greater than another little human life to love and care for, but these frazzled moms on TV kind of scare me. I seriously need to STOP watching that show! A Baby Story really freaked me out about labor and delivery before I gave birth to Brooke, so I guess that show just plays with my mind all together???
~A Different Shift For John: We're not trying to get our hopes up or anything, but John heard is sergeant talking to someone about shift assignments and John really thinks that he got DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like I said, I'm trying not to get too excited, but I really hope it works out. I can't imagine anything more perfect or wonderful than having a husband with normal hours. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but I'm also praying that God will help me be satisfied regardless.
So, I think that completes everything that's been on my mind today. I'm glad I could get it all out!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The Bug Makes Sense Now
Yes, I have this bug figured out now. My baby was up ALL night last night throwing up and it was absolutely horrible:-( She threw once in her crib... all over her sheets and blanket, and then several times in our bed. The first time she got it all over our sheets, so I stripped them down and put towels under her and the other times I was fortunate enough to catch it with the towels. I had her throw up in my hair, all over my clothes, and all up and down my arms. It was miserable. What made it worse is that John started to get sick in the middle of the night so he was up with a horrible stomachache for much of the night. NO FUN!
Brooke threw up at 5:30 this morning and that was the last time for the longest time. She woke up for the day at 11 and I just assumed that she wouldn't throw up again because it had been so long. WRONG! At 12 she threw up again, much to our disappointment:-( That was the last time, as of now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! She' still been really sleepy and having diarrhea, but she's eaten pretty well today and kept her food down quite nicely. YAY! So, hopefully she's on the mend. She just went to bed with no fuss so that leads me to believe that she's feeling pretty good right about now. John's still feeling pretty awful though and he has to go to work tonight:-( I wish I could convince him to call in!
I have had a yucky headache all day and I've felt a little bit queasy, but I'm so thankful that God has kept me mostly healthy to take care of my family. I've done 6 loads of laundry today and given Brooke 2 baths. This bug has been messy and I can't even imagine how bad it would be if I had it. It was gorgeous out today and I was so sad that we missed out on it from being sick. Oh well! There's tomorrow!
Well, I'm off to go a MUCH needed shower and then watch American Idol. I hope Sayesha goes but I'm thinking it will be Brooke because of her mistake last night. Poor girl. We'll see soon!
Brooke threw up at 5:30 this morning and that was the last time for the longest time. She woke up for the day at 11 and I just assumed that she wouldn't throw up again because it had been so long. WRONG! At 12 she threw up again, much to our disappointment:-( That was the last time, as of now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! She' still been really sleepy and having diarrhea, but she's eaten pretty well today and kept her food down quite nicely. YAY! So, hopefully she's on the mend. She just went to bed with no fuss so that leads me to believe that she's feeling pretty good right about now. John's still feeling pretty awful though and he has to go to work tonight:-( I wish I could convince him to call in!
I have had a yucky headache all day and I've felt a little bit queasy, but I'm so thankful that God has kept me mostly healthy to take care of my family. I've done 6 loads of laundry today and given Brooke 2 baths. This bug has been messy and I can't even imagine how bad it would be if I had it. It was gorgeous out today and I was so sad that we missed out on it from being sick. Oh well! There's tomorrow!
Well, I'm off to go a MUCH needed shower and then watch American Idol. I hope Sayesha goes but I'm thinking it will be Brooke because of her mistake last night. Poor girl. We'll see soon!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A Weird Bug, Part 2
Happy Birthday, Patty! I love you lots!
Speaking of Patty's birthday, we went to Red Lobster for her birthday dinner tonight. I worked there for 5 years so it was really nice to see everyone, especially one of my old bosses. Every time I go in there I kind of miss it because I really, really enjoyed working in food service. It was a lot of fun and great money. I love showing Brooke off and everyone couldn't believe how well behaved and happy she was the whole time we were there.
Shortly before we left, Brooke had another diarrhea explosion. Luckily I had her PJ's with me so I just wiped her down really well and put her in them. Off we went to get her home. A few miles down the road, Brooke began to throw up EVERYWHERE. She kept going and going too. We were on the arguably most busy road in town and John couldn't pull us over without the fear of someone smacking us from behind. Brooke was freaking out because she kept choking and getting really scared. I was super afraid for her too:-( We pulled over a few feet down the road and I was able to wipe her hands off, but that didn't change the fact that her entire car seat, hair, clothes, and jacket (that she was holding on to) were all drenched in her vomit. It was horrible. My arms and hands were immersed in it too and it was not very pleasant. Luckily we were only about 5-10 minutes from home!
I came home and threw Brooke immediately in the tub. Afterwards, all she wanted to do was nurse, nurse, nurse. Just like Sunday, I was leery about letting her drink too much because I didn't want it to come back up. Sure enough, she's kept it down for over 2 hours now and has been sleeping soundly. I just don't understand what's going on with her. I'm not so quick to say she has a bug because she's very happy and she's sleeping well. She also has no fever and she doesn't get upset or anything before throwing up. If she did that would indicate to me that she has a belly ache or something. I also can't say that it was anything that she ate because she refused to eat anything for dinner, which is unfortunately the norm for her. Ugh, I just don't know what to do for this kid! I feel so sad every time I think about her throwing up all over herself. There just doesn't seem to be a reasonable explanation for this all.
Well, I'm going to go enjoy my husband now. We're addicted to Everybody Loves Raymond and we have a TON of them taped on our DVR so we're going to have a marathon tonight. Fun, fun! I'm sure hoping that I'm not up all night with a vomiting baby. Wish me luck!
Speaking of Patty's birthday, we went to Red Lobster for her birthday dinner tonight. I worked there for 5 years so it was really nice to see everyone, especially one of my old bosses. Every time I go in there I kind of miss it because I really, really enjoyed working in food service. It was a lot of fun and great money. I love showing Brooke off and everyone couldn't believe how well behaved and happy she was the whole time we were there.
Shortly before we left, Brooke had another diarrhea explosion. Luckily I had her PJ's with me so I just wiped her down really well and put her in them. Off we went to get her home. A few miles down the road, Brooke began to throw up EVERYWHERE. She kept going and going too. We were on the arguably most busy road in town and John couldn't pull us over without the fear of someone smacking us from behind. Brooke was freaking out because she kept choking and getting really scared. I was super afraid for her too:-( We pulled over a few feet down the road and I was able to wipe her hands off, but that didn't change the fact that her entire car seat, hair, clothes, and jacket (that she was holding on to) were all drenched in her vomit. It was horrible. My arms and hands were immersed in it too and it was not very pleasant. Luckily we were only about 5-10 minutes from home!
I came home and threw Brooke immediately in the tub. Afterwards, all she wanted to do was nurse, nurse, nurse. Just like Sunday, I was leery about letting her drink too much because I didn't want it to come back up. Sure enough, she's kept it down for over 2 hours now and has been sleeping soundly. I just don't understand what's going on with her. I'm not so quick to say she has a bug because she's very happy and she's sleeping well. She also has no fever and she doesn't get upset or anything before throwing up. If she did that would indicate to me that she has a belly ache or something. I also can't say that it was anything that she ate because she refused to eat anything for dinner, which is unfortunately the norm for her. Ugh, I just don't know what to do for this kid! I feel so sad every time I think about her throwing up all over herself. There just doesn't seem to be a reasonable explanation for this all.
Well, I'm going to go enjoy my husband now. We're addicted to Everybody Loves Raymond and we have a TON of them taped on our DVR so we're going to have a marathon tonight. Fun, fun! I'm sure hoping that I'm not up all night with a vomiting baby. Wish me luck!
Monday, April 21, 2008
New Friends For Brookie
The weather here has been absolutely gorgeous! Today the temperature hovered right around 70 degrees and it was sunny too. Ever since things have started to warm up we've taken advantage and we've had Brooke outside an awful lot. She seriously loves it! Tonight we went over to my parent's house for dinner and a walk and Brookie made some new friends. There are some little girls in their neighborhood that were riding their bikes around and they fell in love with Brooke. One of them was 8 and the other was 6 and Brooke was enamored by them. They ended up walking her up and down the street (don't worry, I trailed closely behind) holding her hands. It was absolutely precious! She gave the girls hugs and kisses and she screamed hysterically when we had to take her away from them. They were really sad to see her go too! I wish I had had my camera so I could have taken some pictures. As a mother it made me extremely happy to watch my baby having so much fun!
I am SO excited because John has tonight and tomorrow night off. Work has really been taking a toll on him lately. He's just been completely exhausted and over-run and it kills me to see him so sleepy all of the time. He gets really bad migraines when he doesn't have enough rest and today he had probably his worst headache yet. He was incapacitated for several hours and I felt so helpless! Thankfully his medicine kicked in eventually and he was able to get up and play outside with us. I wish he had normal hours so he wasn't always a walking zombie. We're keeping our fingers crossed because the new shift assignments for May- July are coming out soon and we're REALLY hoping that he will get put back on the day shift. They hired 2 new deputies that were put on the night shift and supposedly that is going to give John enough seniority to kick him back to days. We've been excited at the prospect of him getting the day shift before and it didn't happen so I'm really trying to be content no matter what shift he is assigned to. Ugh, I'm so frustrated by his job lately.
Alrighty, I'm going to go run and take a shower and do my housework before One Tree Hill comes on. That's our favorite show that we watch together. I'm so excited for this episode tonight!
I am SO excited because John has tonight and tomorrow night off. Work has really been taking a toll on him lately. He's just been completely exhausted and over-run and it kills me to see him so sleepy all of the time. He gets really bad migraines when he doesn't have enough rest and today he had probably his worst headache yet. He was incapacitated for several hours and I felt so helpless! Thankfully his medicine kicked in eventually and he was able to get up and play outside with us. I wish he had normal hours so he wasn't always a walking zombie. We're keeping our fingers crossed because the new shift assignments for May- July are coming out soon and we're REALLY hoping that he will get put back on the day shift. They hired 2 new deputies that were put on the night shift and supposedly that is going to give John enough seniority to kick him back to days. We've been excited at the prospect of him getting the day shift before and it didn't happen so I'm really trying to be content no matter what shift he is assigned to. Ugh, I'm so frustrated by his job lately.
Alrighty, I'm going to go run and take a shower and do my housework before One Tree Hill comes on. That's our favorite show that we watch together. I'm so excited for this episode tonight!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
A Weird Bug
Brookie slept through the night again last night!!!! When she woke up she was extremely silly and happy so I just assumed that today would have been our average Sunday morning. I began to get ready for church and she was just roaming around, talking and laughing. I had just finished up zipping up my freshly ironed sun dress and fastening my set of pearls around my neck. I was feeling pretty good about how I looked and I couldn't wait to get out to enjoy the beautiful day... UNTIL... BROOKE THREW UP ALL OVER ME... All over the floor, all over my bed frame, all over her clothes, all over her feet, hands and face. It was everywhere! Luckily John had just gotten home so I screamed down the stairs for him to come quickly with some towels. We wiped Brooke down, threw her in the tub and she continued to be her silly self, as if nothing had happened.
After she got out of the tub all she wanted to do was nurse. I was really, really nervous about letting her do that because I figured it would come right back up. So, with great caution, I nursed her. I had towels surrounding us and even though she was dozing off to sleep, I vigilantly stared at her. After about 20 minutes of successful nursing, I drifted off to sleep. We woke up almost 2 hours later and Brooke had managed to keep all of her milk down. I thought that she would throw up shortly after she got up but she has been 100 percent fine for the entire day. Apart from 2 diarrhea diapers, she has absolutely no other signs that she was ever sick. The only other thing that was different about today is that she's wanted to nurse, nurse, nurse and nurse some more. It's insane. I seriously had to pull her off of me because she would have sucked all day if I had allowed it.
I was really disappointed that I couldn't go to church today. I'm the pianist in our worship team and I always feel horrible when I have to bail out at the last minute. I also enjoy seeing people and having an excuse to dress up and look pretty. It's obviously also nice to attend Sunday School and the regular service to study God's word. I seriously enjoy going to church so much. It's something I look forward to every week.
I'm wondering if this was a bug or just something she ate or if she stuck her fingers down her throat and made herself puke? She's been known to shove her fingers a little far back! I don't know... But whatever it is, I'm glad that it went away quickly!
After she got out of the tub all she wanted to do was nurse. I was really, really nervous about letting her do that because I figured it would come right back up. So, with great caution, I nursed her. I had towels surrounding us and even though she was dozing off to sleep, I vigilantly stared at her. After about 20 minutes of successful nursing, I drifted off to sleep. We woke up almost 2 hours later and Brooke had managed to keep all of her milk down. I thought that she would throw up shortly after she got up but she has been 100 percent fine for the entire day. Apart from 2 diarrhea diapers, she has absolutely no other signs that she was ever sick. The only other thing that was different about today is that she's wanted to nurse, nurse, nurse and nurse some more. It's insane. I seriously had to pull her off of me because she would have sucked all day if I had allowed it.
I was really disappointed that I couldn't go to church today. I'm the pianist in our worship team and I always feel horrible when I have to bail out at the last minute. I also enjoy seeing people and having an excuse to dress up and look pretty. It's obviously also nice to attend Sunday School and the regular service to study God's word. I seriously enjoy going to church so much. It's something I look forward to every week.
I'm wondering if this was a bug or just something she ate or if she stuck her fingers down her throat and made herself puke? She's been known to shove her fingers a little far back! I don't know... But whatever it is, I'm glad that it went away quickly!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
A Marathon Day
Today was a great but busy, busy day. Holy cow! We woke up at 7:30 and I seriously don't think that I've sat down for more than 2 minutes until this very moment! Let's just say I'll sleep well tonight.
Sarah and I spent our morning shopping and preparing for the bridal shower we had for Vicki (John's brother's fiance) this afternoon. After running to many stores and lugging Brooke in and out of the car a million times, we finally got up to the church around 11:30 to start decorating and cooking. The shower was at 2 so we had plenty of time to get things done. I was really proud of us because the neither Sarah or I are into decorating or anything but everything looked really, really pretty. For lunch I made Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and it got rave reviews. I was so happy that everyone enjoyed it!
After presents, cake and clean-up, we didn't even get home until after 5. Brooke had been such a trooper the whole entire day and I think I got her home just shy of a meltdown. I'm seriously so amazed at how happy and flexible she was today, as her schedule was all out of whack.
Vicki got lots of nice stuff and I was happy for her. I was thinking how nice it would be to be a bride again and be able to register for anything and everything I wanted. That has to be one of the most fun parts of getting married!!! I've already had my time but I must admit that it would be nice to have everything brand new again! Lol
Brooke slept from 7:45 to 6:30 in her crib last night. YAY!!!!!! That leads me to believe that this is the real deal, but you never know with babies. They tend to be unpredictable! Ironically enough, Nathan (my nephew) magically started sleeping through the night when he was 14 months too, which is Brooke's age. Maybe it's a good age for night weaning or maybe it's just a big coincidence? Who knows.
Well, I'm seriously about to fall asleep as I type this. Holy cow am I tired. I still have to make John's lunch, empty the dishwasher, fold laundry, and iron my outfit for tomorrow. The work of a housewife is NEVER done!
Sarah and I spent our morning shopping and preparing for the bridal shower we had for Vicki (John's brother's fiance) this afternoon. After running to many stores and lugging Brooke in and out of the car a million times, we finally got up to the church around 11:30 to start decorating and cooking. The shower was at 2 so we had plenty of time to get things done. I was really proud of us because the neither Sarah or I are into decorating or anything but everything looked really, really pretty. For lunch I made Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and it got rave reviews. I was so happy that everyone enjoyed it!
After presents, cake and clean-up, we didn't even get home until after 5. Brooke had been such a trooper the whole entire day and I think I got her home just shy of a meltdown. I'm seriously so amazed at how happy and flexible she was today, as her schedule was all out of whack.
Vicki got lots of nice stuff and I was happy for her. I was thinking how nice it would be to be a bride again and be able to register for anything and everything I wanted. That has to be one of the most fun parts of getting married!!! I've already had my time but I must admit that it would be nice to have everything brand new again! Lol
Brooke slept from 7:45 to 6:30 in her crib last night. YAY!!!!!! That leads me to believe that this is the real deal, but you never know with babies. They tend to be unpredictable! Ironically enough, Nathan (my nephew) magically started sleeping through the night when he was 14 months too, which is Brooke's age. Maybe it's a good age for night weaning or maybe it's just a big coincidence? Who knows.
Well, I'm seriously about to fall asleep as I type this. Holy cow am I tired. I still have to make John's lunch, empty the dishwasher, fold laundry, and iron my outfit for tomorrow. The work of a housewife is NEVER done!
Friday, April 18, 2008
With Great Joy, I Announce That.....
BROOKIE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT IN HER CRIB LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm am seriously on cloud 9 right now! We had been trying to cut out her 12 A.M waking, which is a habitual thing she had consistently been doing for months. So, for the last couple of nights we've been letting her cry through that time. She never cried much through this process, which still has me shocked, by the way. Last night she woke up at 12, cried for 10 minutes and I didn't hear from her again until 6 A.M. When I heard her crying, I looked at the clock and I couldn't believe my eyes! She went to bed at 7:30 so that's 10.5 hours in her crib. I'm truly impressed! I don't know if something clicked in that little brain of hers when we let her cry or if this is just some fluke and our troubles will start all over again tonight. I sure hope that this continues! So yes, I am one VERY happy mama!
Our seafood was great last night... Except for those nasty clams. I vow to never eat a clam again. YUCKY! Our shrimp and scallops well made up for it though!
My brother-in-law's fiance is having her bridal shower tomorrow, which I'm cooking for so I should be busy, busy. Sarah's spending the night with me tonight so we can wake up early tomorrow to do our last minute running around. Hopfully Brooke cooperates!
Okay, Sarah's almost here so it's time to get off this computer. I'm out!
Our seafood was great last night... Except for those nasty clams. I vow to never eat a clam again. YUCKY! Our shrimp and scallops well made up for it though!
My brother-in-law's fiance is having her bridal shower tomorrow, which I'm cooking for so I should be busy, busy. Sarah's spending the night with me tonight so we can wake up early tomorrow to do our last minute running around. Hopfully Brooke cooperates!
Okay, Sarah's almost here so it's time to get off this computer. I'm out!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
The Last Couple Of Days
John had yesterday and today off and we've had such a nice time with one another. I love that man! We've been super busy but it's been great.
Yesterday John took me to the mall for a shopping spree for new summer clothes. Let me just say, I needed them so badly. I bought a whole bunch last year right after Brookie was born and now they're all too big. What was I thinking buying clothes right after giving birth??? Anyways, he was so sweet and patient with me. He went in countless stores and he didn't complain once! I ended up getting 3 pairs of Capri's, 7 new shirts, and a jean skirt. The skirt was originally $30 and I got it for $3. AMAZING! Patty watched Brooke for the afternoon so we could shop at our own pace. She would NOT have tolerated all of the many stores we went into and I don't think I would have been very productive!
Today's been great too. It's a beautiful 70 degree today and the sun is shining. It's so wonderful after the long winter to see a day like this again! John and I just went to the store and bought shrimp, bacon wrapped sea scallops, and clams for dinner. So exciting! We're gonna put the scallops and shrimp on skewers and grill them. I'm going to brush them with a mixture of olive oil, lemon, and freshly minced garlic... Kind of like a scampi sauce I can't wait. The clams, however, are an experiment. We've never had them and they were wicked cheap so we're going to give it a whirl. The lady said to wrap them up in foil and steam them on the grill so we're going to do just that. I think I'm kind of scared!! Lol
We've spent our afternoon playing in the yard. Brooke is such a blast outside! At first she was kind of afraid of everything but now we can't seem to drag our away from the outdoors. She says "grass" without the "gr" so it's so hilarious to hear her talk about "ass" all day. HA!
John finally assembled Brooke's wagon that my parents bought her for her birthday so we're going to take it to the park tonight and walk around for a bit. We walked her up and down our road (which isn't very long) and she was in heaven. I'm really looked forward to tonight!
Okay, the grilling adventures are about to begin and my girl is screaming so I'm out!
Yesterday John took me to the mall for a shopping spree for new summer clothes. Let me just say, I needed them so badly. I bought a whole bunch last year right after Brookie was born and now they're all too big. What was I thinking buying clothes right after giving birth??? Anyways, he was so sweet and patient with me. He went in countless stores and he didn't complain once! I ended up getting 3 pairs of Capri's, 7 new shirts, and a jean skirt. The skirt was originally $30 and I got it for $3. AMAZING! Patty watched Brooke for the afternoon so we could shop at our own pace. She would NOT have tolerated all of the many stores we went into and I don't think I would have been very productive!
Today's been great too. It's a beautiful 70 degree today and the sun is shining. It's so wonderful after the long winter to see a day like this again! John and I just went to the store and bought shrimp, bacon wrapped sea scallops, and clams for dinner. So exciting! We're gonna put the scallops and shrimp on skewers and grill them. I'm going to brush them with a mixture of olive oil, lemon, and freshly minced garlic... Kind of like a scampi sauce I can't wait. The clams, however, are an experiment. We've never had them and they were wicked cheap so we're going to give it a whirl. The lady said to wrap them up in foil and steam them on the grill so we're going to do just that. I think I'm kind of scared!! Lol
We've spent our afternoon playing in the yard. Brooke is such a blast outside! At first she was kind of afraid of everything but now we can't seem to drag our away from the outdoors. She says "grass" without the "gr" so it's so hilarious to hear her talk about "ass" all day. HA!
John finally assembled Brooke's wagon that my parents bought her for her birthday so we're going to take it to the park tonight and walk around for a bit. We walked her up and down our road (which isn't very long) and she was in heaven. I'm really looked forward to tonight!
Okay, the grilling adventures are about to begin and my girl is screaming so I'm out!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Many More Thoughts On VBAC's
Happy 14 Month Birthday to my Brookie! I can't believe that she grew so fast! Wow...
Thank you to the ladies who have helped me out with getting my facts straight on VBAC's. You have been a great resource and your stories have encouraged me! I don't profess to have all of this answers on this.. I just want to make a well informed, prudent decision that is best for my body and for my family.
A couple of thoughts that I just want to get out off of my chest...
~I sat down and decided the exact things about a C-Section that bother me:
1. Not being able to have my baby placed on my chest immediately after birth. After Brooke was born it was like a half an hour before I ever got to hold her. I could hear her screaming in the other room and I felt helpless. All she wanted was ME and I couldn't be there for her. Yes, I'm crying as I write that. That hurts me so bad, even after 14 months. Talk about major guilt...
2. I LOVED being in labor. That may sound silly for some people but I thought it was invigorating, empowering, beautiful, and like it was this really cool challenge that I wanted to succeed at. I did it totally med-free (the laboring process and 2.5 hours of pushing) and I am SO proud of that. The thought of never, ever getting to experience labor again makes me sad. A C-Section seems so "medical" and unnatural to me compared to delivering vaginally.
3. The recovery was horrible. I refused pain medications after the surgery because they made me too groggy to enjoy Brooke. That probably wasn't a good idea because it caused further problems. However, I attribute most of my rocky recovery to the fact that I was literally depressed over that stupid C-Section. I think that healing is very much emotional, as it is physical and I was so angry at myself that I had "failed" that I let that drag me down. However, regardless of my attitude next time around, it will still be hard to recover from my stomach being ripped open again. At that point I'll have 2 babies to care for, not just one. How the heck do I even manage that?
4. The extended stay in the hospital is horrible. My friend just had a natural delivery and was home the very next day. Wouldn't that be something?
So, as you can see, there are a lot of valid things about the actual procedure itself that I just flat out don't like. There are many emotions and feelings that cause me to not want a C-Section as well, but I think I've already made that abundantly clear.
~If I do decided to go for a repeat C-Section I'll feel like a failure. I have wanted a VBAC for so long that I feel by just surrendering the medical advice and having a repeat section then I'll be giving up on something I want so bad.
~John really wants me to have C-Sections from here on out because we've discussed the risks and he feels strongly about me avoiding them. I have to respect him because he's my husband. He said that if I sought out a doctor who would discuss it with us we could look into it further. So, there's still hope!
~I would like to know more about all of this before baby #2 is conceived because to me it's a HUGE deal. Right now I just feel so confused and frustrated because I'm overwhelmed by statistics and differing medical opinions.
~If I do end up opting for the C-Section, at least this time around I'll know what to expect and I can plan much better for it.
All in all, it boils down to the fact that the opportunity to carry and baby for 9 months and then have the incredible responsibility of being a mother is just amazing. Regardless of how my next baby makes his or her entrance into the world I will love it the same. Even though I want a VBAC so, so, so bad I have to keep in perspective that I'm lucky to have a healthy, fertile body, unlike some other women who can't seem to get pregnant or can't carry a baby to term. I'm sure those women wouldn't care if their baby came out of their NOSE, as long as they could experience the joy of motherhood.
I'm going to really work on trying to stop worrying about all of this. God is in control... Not me, not the doctors, not the midwife. I'm going to pray that when the time comes I will make the best decision for my family. I feel like such a basket-case over this whole issue and who really likes to feel like that? I just need to come to peace with whatever we ultimately decide to do!
Thank you to the ladies who have helped me out with getting my facts straight on VBAC's. You have been a great resource and your stories have encouraged me! I don't profess to have all of this answers on this.. I just want to make a well informed, prudent decision that is best for my body and for my family.
A couple of thoughts that I just want to get out off of my chest...
~I sat down and decided the exact things about a C-Section that bother me:
1. Not being able to have my baby placed on my chest immediately after birth. After Brooke was born it was like a half an hour before I ever got to hold her. I could hear her screaming in the other room and I felt helpless. All she wanted was ME and I couldn't be there for her. Yes, I'm crying as I write that. That hurts me so bad, even after 14 months. Talk about major guilt...
2. I LOVED being in labor. That may sound silly for some people but I thought it was invigorating, empowering, beautiful, and like it was this really cool challenge that I wanted to succeed at. I did it totally med-free (the laboring process and 2.5 hours of pushing) and I am SO proud of that. The thought of never, ever getting to experience labor again makes me sad. A C-Section seems so "medical" and unnatural to me compared to delivering vaginally.
3. The recovery was horrible. I refused pain medications after the surgery because they made me too groggy to enjoy Brooke. That probably wasn't a good idea because it caused further problems. However, I attribute most of my rocky recovery to the fact that I was literally depressed over that stupid C-Section. I think that healing is very much emotional, as it is physical and I was so angry at myself that I had "failed" that I let that drag me down. However, regardless of my attitude next time around, it will still be hard to recover from my stomach being ripped open again. At that point I'll have 2 babies to care for, not just one. How the heck do I even manage that?
4. The extended stay in the hospital is horrible. My friend just had a natural delivery and was home the very next day. Wouldn't that be something?
So, as you can see, there are a lot of valid things about the actual procedure itself that I just flat out don't like. There are many emotions and feelings that cause me to not want a C-Section as well, but I think I've already made that abundantly clear.
~If I do decided to go for a repeat C-Section I'll feel like a failure. I have wanted a VBAC for so long that I feel by just surrendering the medical advice and having a repeat section then I'll be giving up on something I want so bad.
~John really wants me to have C-Sections from here on out because we've discussed the risks and he feels strongly about me avoiding them. I have to respect him because he's my husband. He said that if I sought out a doctor who would discuss it with us we could look into it further. So, there's still hope!
~I would like to know more about all of this before baby #2 is conceived because to me it's a HUGE deal. Right now I just feel so confused and frustrated because I'm overwhelmed by statistics and differing medical opinions.
~If I do end up opting for the C-Section, at least this time around I'll know what to expect and I can plan much better for it.
All in all, it boils down to the fact that the opportunity to carry and baby for 9 months and then have the incredible responsibility of being a mother is just amazing. Regardless of how my next baby makes his or her entrance into the world I will love it the same. Even though I want a VBAC so, so, so bad I have to keep in perspective that I'm lucky to have a healthy, fertile body, unlike some other women who can't seem to get pregnant or can't carry a baby to term. I'm sure those women wouldn't care if their baby came out of their NOSE, as long as they could experience the joy of motherhood.
I'm going to really work on trying to stop worrying about all of this. God is in control... Not me, not the doctors, not the midwife. I'm going to pray that when the time comes I will make the best decision for my family. I feel like such a basket-case over this whole issue and who really likes to feel like that? I just need to come to peace with whatever we ultimately decide to do!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Flushing My Dreams Of A VBAC Down The Toilet
John and have been talking a lot about having another baby so I scheduled a preconception visit with the group of midwives that handled my pregnancy. I was due for my annual check up anyways or else I probably wouldn't have made an appointment specifically to talk about everything but I'm really glad that I did.
The biggest thing on my mind was whether or not I could attempt my much desired VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I expressed to the midwife how important it is to me and how I want to attempt one. First of all, she said that midwives aren't allowed to do VBAC's anymore because there is a risk of uterine scar rupture during pregnancy or during labor. That alone stinks because I'm so comfortable with my midwives and the thought of going to a group of MALE doctors who I don't know is just plain awful to me. The second thing that she told me really bugged me also... She said that she doesn't think that the doctors in their practice will encourage me to do a VBAC because on paper I'm not a good candidate... Meaning that Brooke was an average sized baby and that I labored with no medical interventions that would have adversely effected my labor (like an epidural or something). She also said that short women often have a hard time delivering babies and I'm only 4"11.
On the other hand, she said some good things... For instance, she said that no two births are different. Even though Brooke wasn't an abnormally large baby and I "should" have been able to push her out, maybe she wasn't at a good angle? Or maybe she was just stuck? She said my next baby could be a totally different story and even if he or she is a whole pound heavier I might deliver it just fine. She also told me that she has 4 kids and after delivering the first one via C-section, she had her 3 subsequent children vaginally. She totally advocates VBAC's but they aren't something that she's allowed to do.
Apparently VBAC's are looked on less and less favorably these days because doctor's see repeat C-Sections as the safer way to go. I don't get that because having a C-Section is MAJOR surgery. How in the world could that be safer? Apparently a couple of years ago a woman who was attempting a VBAC (at the hospital where I delivered Brooke) had a uterine rupture and died. Scary stuff but still... The risk is like .01in a million. I guess that alarmed a lot of people and now they're extremely cautious with VBAC's.
Then she told me something that REALLY got me upset... She said that she advises me to wait until Brooke is 2 to get pregnant again to give my uterus time to heal. Give me a break!!!!! My uterus is just fine, thank you. She did an internal exam on me and everything looked really healthy and great so I don't see what the hold up is. I'm NOT waiting until Brooke is 2. I've never heard of such a thing. I'm going to go to a doctor and get a second opinion on that one because that seriously doesn't even sound right. I came home and did some reading online and it said that women who want a VBAC are suggested to wait 2 years, but it doesn't say anything about waiting that long if you opt to have a repeat C-Section. Everything I've read says that the uterus is back to normal about 3 months after the surgery. Either she's on dope or I just misunderstood? Lol
So, I'm frustrated. Yes, I want another baby but I want to go about it in the safest manner possible... If that means giving up my time frame or my strong desire for a VBAC then I guess I'm left with no choice. My family has to come first. I'm feeling kind of sad over all of this...
The biggest thing on my mind was whether or not I could attempt my much desired VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I expressed to the midwife how important it is to me and how I want to attempt one. First of all, she said that midwives aren't allowed to do VBAC's anymore because there is a risk of uterine scar rupture during pregnancy or during labor. That alone stinks because I'm so comfortable with my midwives and the thought of going to a group of MALE doctors who I don't know is just plain awful to me. The second thing that she told me really bugged me also... She said that she doesn't think that the doctors in their practice will encourage me to do a VBAC because on paper I'm not a good candidate... Meaning that Brooke was an average sized baby and that I labored with no medical interventions that would have adversely effected my labor (like an epidural or something). She also said that short women often have a hard time delivering babies and I'm only 4"11.
On the other hand, she said some good things... For instance, she said that no two births are different. Even though Brooke wasn't an abnormally large baby and I "should" have been able to push her out, maybe she wasn't at a good angle? Or maybe she was just stuck? She said my next baby could be a totally different story and even if he or she is a whole pound heavier I might deliver it just fine. She also told me that she has 4 kids and after delivering the first one via C-section, she had her 3 subsequent children vaginally. She totally advocates VBAC's but they aren't something that she's allowed to do.
Apparently VBAC's are looked on less and less favorably these days because doctor's see repeat C-Sections as the safer way to go. I don't get that because having a C-Section is MAJOR surgery. How in the world could that be safer? Apparently a couple of years ago a woman who was attempting a VBAC (at the hospital where I delivered Brooke) had a uterine rupture and died. Scary stuff but still... The risk is like .01in a million. I guess that alarmed a lot of people and now they're extremely cautious with VBAC's.
Then she told me something that REALLY got me upset... She said that she advises me to wait until Brooke is 2 to get pregnant again to give my uterus time to heal. Give me a break!!!!! My uterus is just fine, thank you. She did an internal exam on me and everything looked really healthy and great so I don't see what the hold up is. I'm NOT waiting until Brooke is 2. I've never heard of such a thing. I'm going to go to a doctor and get a second opinion on that one because that seriously doesn't even sound right. I came home and did some reading online and it said that women who want a VBAC are suggested to wait 2 years, but it doesn't say anything about waiting that long if you opt to have a repeat C-Section. Everything I've read says that the uterus is back to normal about 3 months after the surgery. Either she's on dope or I just misunderstood? Lol
So, I'm frustrated. Yes, I want another baby but I want to go about it in the safest manner possible... If that means giving up my time frame or my strong desire for a VBAC then I guess I'm left with no choice. My family has to come first. I'm feeling kind of sad over all of this...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Not-So-Glamorous Account Of Being A Cop's Wife
Before John got his job, the thought of having my husband (well, fiance at the time) as a cop seemed so sexy, so intriguing... So COOL. I would look at police officers and think that they were so important and I wished so badly that John was in their shoes. I couldn't imagine anything more exciting than being the wife of a cop.
Now that John has met his life-long ambition of being a police officer, I'm beaming with pride. He's a wonderful, clean, hard-working cop who treats people with respect, regardless of what predicament he finds them in. He is someone who wants to make a difference and truly serve his community. From being around other law enforcement officers, I know that my husband is a rare find because many of them are a disappointing opposite of John. I'm also proud of John because of how hard he worked to get to where he's at. Police jobs are VERY hard to come by in our area and he had to go through many written tests, physical tests, and an in depth interview process to be hired. Even after John was given his job, he still had a long road ahead of him to become the cop he had dreamed of being... He had to attend a rigorous 6-month-long academy, which was pure torture at many times. Then he had to come back to his police station and pass his 6-week field training tests and finally go through a 6-month probationary period.
With all that being said, I think it's pretty obvious to deduce that I support my husband a 100 million percent. I'm extremely thankful because his job pays the bills and allows us a comfortable lifestyle, in which I get to stay home with Brookie. However, I have to tell ya.. I'm getting sick of the inconveniences of his abnormal schedule. I'm not complaining because I knew that I would have to make sacrifices by marrying a police officer, but sometimes I just wish that my husband could have a predictable, steady schedule. It's just so difficult because he never has the same days off from week to week so our life changes and varies so much. On top of that, him working nights has really put an added strain on our typical flow of things. He wakes up at around 3 in the afternoon and we spend a few hours together, but by 8 he's out for a nap before he leaves for work at 10:30. Lately I've been crying after he leaves because I just miss him so much. I want so badly to sleep next to him and just be near him.
What really evoked my emotions that caused me to write this post was a conversation John and I had a few hours ago. We were talking about some of the dangers involved with his job. It's weird because when he was first a cop I used to be worried sick about him, but after a while, those thoughts faded because I was more familiar with what his job entailed. However, when we were discussing some things that he's dealing with at work, my heart just stopped and I got this huge pit in my stomach. I was just learning to be okay with my husband carrying a gun and chasing "bad guys" and now suddenly, I'm afraid again. I despise that feeling that I get every time my phone doesn't ring when I think that he's supposed to be calling me or every time he's a few minutes late getting home from work. My heart sinks when I don't know that he's okay.
When I thought of John being a cop, I envisioned us going to police picnics, hanging out with police wives, and having this "brotherhood" of people that we shared our lives with... You know, like in the movies. While John has some great friends at work who I know watch his back, it seems like most of the people he works with are drunks and adulterers. I know that that's the real world but I just thought that police officers would be distinguished and mature. I never anticipated that John would work so many childish men who really didn't care too much about their jobs and/or their families.
It's funny because when I was in college I sat next to a cop's wife in one of my classes. I kind of looked up to her because I thought it was so amazing that she was married to a cop. Ha! I told her that my boyfriend wanted to be a cop and she said, "Oh honey, you don't want to marry a cop! The boy a few rows over is studying to be a doctor. Go hook up with him!" Lol! I couldn't imagine what she meant but it's all making a little bit more sense now! Don't get me wrong... In a heartbeat, I'd marry John all over again, police officer and all, but it would be nice if he was in a more predictable, less scary line of work. My dream job for him would be a 9-5 job where he had nights, weekends and holidays off. I know that I should just keep dreaming though!
I hope this post doesn't sound all miserable or anything, because that certainly wasn't my intent. I'm just releasing some of these feelings instead of bottling them up. I do want to emphasize that I'm EXTREMELY blessed and happy and John's crazy schedule doesn't change any of that! And besides, John looks so hot in his uniform that it's all worth it anyways:-)
Now that John has met his life-long ambition of being a police officer, I'm beaming with pride. He's a wonderful, clean, hard-working cop who treats people with respect, regardless of what predicament he finds them in. He is someone who wants to make a difference and truly serve his community. From being around other law enforcement officers, I know that my husband is a rare find because many of them are a disappointing opposite of John. I'm also proud of John because of how hard he worked to get to where he's at. Police jobs are VERY hard to come by in our area and he had to go through many written tests, physical tests, and an in depth interview process to be hired. Even after John was given his job, he still had a long road ahead of him to become the cop he had dreamed of being... He had to attend a rigorous 6-month-long academy, which was pure torture at many times. Then he had to come back to his police station and pass his 6-week field training tests and finally go through a 6-month probationary period.
With all that being said, I think it's pretty obvious to deduce that I support my husband a 100 million percent. I'm extremely thankful because his job pays the bills and allows us a comfortable lifestyle, in which I get to stay home with Brookie. However, I have to tell ya.. I'm getting sick of the inconveniences of his abnormal schedule. I'm not complaining because I knew that I would have to make sacrifices by marrying a police officer, but sometimes I just wish that my husband could have a predictable, steady schedule. It's just so difficult because he never has the same days off from week to week so our life changes and varies so much. On top of that, him working nights has really put an added strain on our typical flow of things. He wakes up at around 3 in the afternoon and we spend a few hours together, but by 8 he's out for a nap before he leaves for work at 10:30. Lately I've been crying after he leaves because I just miss him so much. I want so badly to sleep next to him and just be near him.
What really evoked my emotions that caused me to write this post was a conversation John and I had a few hours ago. We were talking about some of the dangers involved with his job. It's weird because when he was first a cop I used to be worried sick about him, but after a while, those thoughts faded because I was more familiar with what his job entailed. However, when we were discussing some things that he's dealing with at work, my heart just stopped and I got this huge pit in my stomach. I was just learning to be okay with my husband carrying a gun and chasing "bad guys" and now suddenly, I'm afraid again. I despise that feeling that I get every time my phone doesn't ring when I think that he's supposed to be calling me or every time he's a few minutes late getting home from work. My heart sinks when I don't know that he's okay.
When I thought of John being a cop, I envisioned us going to police picnics, hanging out with police wives, and having this "brotherhood" of people that we shared our lives with... You know, like in the movies. While John has some great friends at work who I know watch his back, it seems like most of the people he works with are drunks and adulterers. I know that that's the real world but I just thought that police officers would be distinguished and mature. I never anticipated that John would work so many childish men who really didn't care too much about their jobs and/or their families.
It's funny because when I was in college I sat next to a cop's wife in one of my classes. I kind of looked up to her because I thought it was so amazing that she was married to a cop. Ha! I told her that my boyfriend wanted to be a cop and she said, "Oh honey, you don't want to marry a cop! The boy a few rows over is studying to be a doctor. Go hook up with him!" Lol! I couldn't imagine what she meant but it's all making a little bit more sense now! Don't get me wrong... In a heartbeat, I'd marry John all over again, police officer and all, but it would be nice if he was in a more predictable, less scary line of work. My dream job for him would be a 9-5 job where he had nights, weekends and holidays off. I know that I should just keep dreaming though!
I hope this post doesn't sound all miserable or anything, because that certainly wasn't my intent. I'm just releasing some of these feelings instead of bottling them up. I do want to emphasize that I'm EXTREMELY blessed and happy and John's crazy schedule doesn't change any of that! And besides, John looks so hot in his uniform that it's all worth it anyways:-)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Inadequate
Dear Brooke,
The last couple of days with you have been rough ones. You have been very grumpy and miserable and it has been really hard for mommy to decipher what you have been trying to tell her. You are not sleeping or eating well either and it bothers me because I just want the very best for you!
Mommy was kind of frustrated yesterday because you were screaming non-stop. In all my efforts to settle you down, I took you upstairs to your nursery, turned on your music and rocked you for what seemed like hours. I wrapped you up in the blanket that you've been using since you were born, hoping that the familiarity of it would comfort you. I sat there in your room quietly praying over you, dreaming of your future, and tousling your curly head of hair. As I looked down at you, you were sound asleep, nestled up against my chest. I realized that something was different: You feel asleep effortlessly without nursing. You didn't search for my breast or even act bothered that it was offered to you.... You just wanted to be close to me, to feel my arms around you, to know that you were loved.
At that point, baby, my heart melted. The thought of you needing me and loving me THAT much overwhelmed me. Some days, well most days, I just feel so inadequate when it comes to being your mommy. Yes, I try so hard to make a good life for you and to love you unconditionally. I try to be patient and understanding. I ask God daily to make me the best mother I can possibly be to you because I love you more than you can imagine. However, during these last couple of days that have been filled with your unrelenting fussing, I'll admit that I've been frazzled and pretty exhausted. I know that I'm human and that I will fail you many times throughout your life, but I just wish so badly that I could be perfect for you. That is, after all, what you deserve.
It's amazing because no matter how grumpy you are, just seeing one little smile on your face or hearing your sweet little giggle is all it takes to make me get through my day. It's a joy and an honor to have as my daughter and a few rough patches here and there will never, ever change my affections towards you!
I don't think I could ever say this enough, Brookie... I love you!
Mommy
The last couple of days with you have been rough ones. You have been very grumpy and miserable and it has been really hard for mommy to decipher what you have been trying to tell her. You are not sleeping or eating well either and it bothers me because I just want the very best for you!
Mommy was kind of frustrated yesterday because you were screaming non-stop. In all my efforts to settle you down, I took you upstairs to your nursery, turned on your music and rocked you for what seemed like hours. I wrapped you up in the blanket that you've been using since you were born, hoping that the familiarity of it would comfort you. I sat there in your room quietly praying over you, dreaming of your future, and tousling your curly head of hair. As I looked down at you, you were sound asleep, nestled up against my chest. I realized that something was different: You feel asleep effortlessly without nursing. You didn't search for my breast or even act bothered that it was offered to you.... You just wanted to be close to me, to feel my arms around you, to know that you were loved.
At that point, baby, my heart melted. The thought of you needing me and loving me THAT much overwhelmed me. Some days, well most days, I just feel so inadequate when it comes to being your mommy. Yes, I try so hard to make a good life for you and to love you unconditionally. I try to be patient and understanding. I ask God daily to make me the best mother I can possibly be to you because I love you more than you can imagine. However, during these last couple of days that have been filled with your unrelenting fussing, I'll admit that I've been frazzled and pretty exhausted. I know that I'm human and that I will fail you many times throughout your life, but I just wish so badly that I could be perfect for you. That is, after all, what you deserve.
It's amazing because no matter how grumpy you are, just seeing one little smile on your face or hearing your sweet little giggle is all it takes to make me get through my day. It's a joy and an honor to have as my daughter and a few rough patches here and there will never, ever change my affections towards you!
I don't think I could ever say this enough, Brookie... I love you!
Mommy
Friday, April 11, 2008
Bedroom Furniture
So after much debating, price checking, and many visits to the different furniture stores, we ended up going with this cherry wood sleigh bed collection by Ashley furniture. I love it! It's elegant, romantic, and classy... Perfect for a master bedroom!
If you remember, John got me a new comforter set for my birthday (on December 2). It's nice and all, but it was almost $300 and it's already falling apart. Is that not ridiculous or what? The seams are ripping and the comforter is already getting all pilly. I've had comforters from Target hold up much better than that! Anyways, I called Macy's and explained my issue to them and they said that I can bring the set in and I can pick out something else. I'm so excited! I'll get to totally start from scratch with my new bedroom. I don't want to get the same set again because obviously the quality isn't that great, which I've already found out!
Okay, I'm going to keep this post short and sweet so I can be productive during Brooke's nap. I've got to take advantage of times like this when I can!
If you remember, John got me a new comforter set for my birthday (on December 2). It's nice and all, but it was almost $300 and it's already falling apart. Is that not ridiculous or what? The seams are ripping and the comforter is already getting all pilly. I've had comforters from Target hold up much better than that! Anyways, I called Macy's and explained my issue to them and they said that I can bring the set in and I can pick out something else. I'm so excited! I'll get to totally start from scratch with my new bedroom. I don't want to get the same set again because obviously the quality isn't that great, which I've already found out!
Okay, I'm going to keep this post short and sweet so I can be productive during Brooke's nap. I've got to take advantage of times like this when I can!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
My Daughter, The Nudist
Brooke won't keep her clothes on now!! Lol! John and I seriously could not keep a pair of pants on the kid today. Every single time we looked away for two seconds she would have her pants down to her knees! I hate when she takes them off because she has successfully taken off her diaper a time or 2 also. Without pants on, removing her diaper is just a tad bit easier! She's been working on how to take her shirt off also but that's not quite as easy for her. Soon she'll have it mastered, I imagine. This kid cracks me up!
Brooke has been MISERABLE the last couple of days. It's been pretty rough on us. She hasn't been sleeping well at night and her naps have been abbreviated so I feel like I've had no reprieve. She woke up from her nap today and literally screamed hysterically for 30 minutes. Finally John settled her down somehow but it was AWFUL. While she was screaming I was able to look her mouth (because it was open VERY wide) and I could see that her molars are still cutting. I thought they were already completely in but apparently they're not. Her gums were even bleeding a little bit from being cut:-( Poor girl! At least I know that this fussy period is mostly related to teething and that it won't last forever. Let's hope not, anyways.
In house news, we're getting new bedroom furniture! For my high school graduation present my parents bought me a cherry bedroom set that I absolutely love, which is what John and I are currently using. However, I guess it was a HUGE pain in the butt to move into our house so Josh is buying it from us (Remember, he bought our house). We're keeping our really nice pillow top mattresses though. I'm not giving those up! We're taking the money from Josh and we're going to buy a new set. We figure that it will make things a whole heck of a lot easier, especially since the place we're going to get it from will deliver the new furniture and set it up too. I'm kind of sad to part from my furniture but we're going to get something almost identical. It's a cherry sleigh bed that's only slightly different from the one my parent's got for me. It will be kind of fun to get new stuff, I must admit!
About American Idol... I seriously cannot believe that Michael John's went home. What kind of garbage is that???? Sayesha and Kristie Lee so should have gone over him. Even David Cook didn't do all that well last week. I'm completely shocked that Michael left... In fact, I'm dumb founded. My favorites right now are Brooke (maybe it's the name???), Carly, and David Cook. It's so hard though because I will even be sad to see David Archuletta and Jason Castro go too. Why can't everyone win?? Lol
Okay, John's off so it's time for movie night. I can't wait!!!!
Brooke has been MISERABLE the last couple of days. It's been pretty rough on us. She hasn't been sleeping well at night and her naps have been abbreviated so I feel like I've had no reprieve. She woke up from her nap today and literally screamed hysterically for 30 minutes. Finally John settled her down somehow but it was AWFUL. While she was screaming I was able to look her mouth (because it was open VERY wide) and I could see that her molars are still cutting. I thought they were already completely in but apparently they're not. Her gums were even bleeding a little bit from being cut:-( Poor girl! At least I know that this fussy period is mostly related to teething and that it won't last forever. Let's hope not, anyways.
In house news, we're getting new bedroom furniture! For my high school graduation present my parents bought me a cherry bedroom set that I absolutely love, which is what John and I are currently using. However, I guess it was a HUGE pain in the butt to move into our house so Josh is buying it from us (Remember, he bought our house). We're keeping our really nice pillow top mattresses though. I'm not giving those up! We're taking the money from Josh and we're going to buy a new set. We figure that it will make things a whole heck of a lot easier, especially since the place we're going to get it from will deliver the new furniture and set it up too. I'm kind of sad to part from my furniture but we're going to get something almost identical. It's a cherry sleigh bed that's only slightly different from the one my parent's got for me. It will be kind of fun to get new stuff, I must admit!
About American Idol... I seriously cannot believe that Michael John's went home. What kind of garbage is that???? Sayesha and Kristie Lee so should have gone over him. Even David Cook didn't do all that well last week. I'm completely shocked that Michael left... In fact, I'm dumb founded. My favorites right now are Brooke (maybe it's the name???), Carly, and David Cook. It's so hard though because I will even be sad to see David Archuletta and Jason Castro go too. Why can't everyone win?? Lol
Okay, John's off so it's time for movie night. I can't wait!!!!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Verbal Explosion!
It seems like just overnight Brooke has developed an all new vocabulary. It's nuts what this girl can say now! Here's just some of her new words:
~"Amen" Every time we finish a prayer with the phrase "In Jesus' name I pray" she shouts it. We also taught her to finish the sentence "And all God's people said..." And of course she shouts "amen." It's hilarious because my dad (who is our pastor) will be praying in church and the whole time my daughter is sitting there repeating "amen," like hurry up with this prayer already, grandpa! Ha! People get a kick out of it and I'm sure Jesus understands.
~"Yucky" She loves to go over to her diaper pale or a trash can and let me know that they're "yucky." Hmmm... I wonder who taught her that those things are yucky? She listens to me after all:-)
~"Doodle" She has a Magna Doodle that she loves to scribble on and we call it her "doodle." I usually give it to her in the car to occupy her. Now when we get in the car we hear about the doodle until we give it to her. Maybe she'll be an artist? Lol
~"Grass" We've been taking advantage of the warm weather lately and letting Brooke play outside as much as possible. Even though she's pretty afraid of grass she sure knows how to say it.
~"Abby" The name of my parent's dog. Every animal we see is all of the sudden named "Abby!"
~"Bow" She and Nathan obsess over her bows that she wears. Both of them pronounce it "boa." It's like my favorite thing they say!
~"Down" Brooke is obsessed with pushing things, especially shopping carts. When we get to the grocery store and I strap her in the car she screams "DOWN." We're trying to teach her that she needs to sit but it's so hard.
~"Ouch" Yes, Brooke now can tattle on her cousin when he hurts her. However, she thinks that everything requires an "ouch" though!
It's been a long day or else I could think of more. I'm sitting here trying to remember her other new words. This is why I write them down... If I can't remember them now how am I supposed to remember them when she's all grown up? I love keeping records on her!
Alrighty, John's off tonight so I'm going to go relax with him.
~"Amen" Every time we finish a prayer with the phrase "In Jesus' name I pray" she shouts it. We also taught her to finish the sentence "And all God's people said..." And of course she shouts "amen." It's hilarious because my dad (who is our pastor) will be praying in church and the whole time my daughter is sitting there repeating "amen," like hurry up with this prayer already, grandpa! Ha! People get a kick out of it and I'm sure Jesus understands.
~"Yucky" She loves to go over to her diaper pale or a trash can and let me know that they're "yucky." Hmmm... I wonder who taught her that those things are yucky? She listens to me after all:-)
~"Doodle" She has a Magna Doodle that she loves to scribble on and we call it her "doodle." I usually give it to her in the car to occupy her. Now when we get in the car we hear about the doodle until we give it to her. Maybe she'll be an artist? Lol
~"Grass" We've been taking advantage of the warm weather lately and letting Brooke play outside as much as possible. Even though she's pretty afraid of grass she sure knows how to say it.
~"Abby" The name of my parent's dog. Every animal we see is all of the sudden named "Abby!"
~"Bow" She and Nathan obsess over her bows that she wears. Both of them pronounce it "boa." It's like my favorite thing they say!
~"Down" Brooke is obsessed with pushing things, especially shopping carts. When we get to the grocery store and I strap her in the car she screams "DOWN." We're trying to teach her that she needs to sit but it's so hard.
~"Ouch" Yes, Brooke now can tattle on her cousin when he hurts her. However, she thinks that everything requires an "ouch" though!
It's been a long day or else I could think of more. I'm sitting here trying to remember her other new words. This is why I write them down... If I can't remember them now how am I supposed to remember them when she's all grown up? I love keeping records on her!
Alrighty, John's off tonight so I'm going to go relax with him.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Brooke's Trip To The Doctor
Brooke's doctor wanted to see her today just to make sure her ears and lungs cleared up okay from that horrible sickness she had a couple of weeks ago. Everything checked out okay except for the fact that I mentioned to him that she would not eat anything. She's still 20 pounds, 4 ounces, even though she hasn't gained any weight since her last check-up but he said that he would feel better sending her to get her throat tested to make sure she can swallow properly. He said that some babies don't have good swallowing reflexes and that deters them from eating. I also told him that Brooke is up wanting to nurse in the middle of the night and he feels quite certain that she is just getting way too much breast milk to be hungry. However, he's EXTREMELY thorough and he still wants to send her to have her throat checked out. He says that she really needs to start eating more than just drinking, which I already knew anyways.
It was so weird because Nathan had an appointment to recheck his ears today too. His appointment was at 9 and Brookie's was at 10. Funny, Ali and I scheduled them without each other's knowledge! Anyways, I rode with her because I figured it was stupid to have 2 cars at the same place. They ended up taking both babies back at the same time and we just made it a family affair. It worked out great because we could help one another when one baby was getting checked. Both kids don't react well to having their ears checked and they need to be held down. I was really pleased at how much individual attention and care their doctor gave them even though there were so many distractions. He's the best!
Well, dinner's almost ready. Time to heat up some vegetables and get things on the table.
It was so weird because Nathan had an appointment to recheck his ears today too. His appointment was at 9 and Brookie's was at 10. Funny, Ali and I scheduled them without each other's knowledge! Anyways, I rode with her because I figured it was stupid to have 2 cars at the same place. They ended up taking both babies back at the same time and we just made it a family affair. It worked out great because we could help one another when one baby was getting checked. Both kids don't react well to having their ears checked and they need to be held down. I was really pleased at how much individual attention and care their doctor gave them even though there were so many distractions. He's the best!
Well, dinner's almost ready. Time to heat up some vegetables and get things on the table.
Monday, April 7, 2008
I Have Good News!!!!
Well friends, if you read my last post, you'll know why I'm so excited... WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!!!! I was able to finagle a pretty sweet deal. I told them exactly what I want it and if I didn't get just that then we wouldn't be buying the house. No less than 5 minutes later we got a phone call saying that the seller agreed! So, this means that the man is cutting us a nice sized check at closing to cover the all of the things wrong with the house. Thankfully, between the abilities of John's dad and the skills of some of the other men in our church, the money will go much further because we don't have to contract the work out. Amazing, huh?
I am just overflowing with praises to God right now. He has once again showed us that He is bigger and better than any problems we may be facing. What seems like insurmountable obstacle to us is nothing in the hands of an almighty God. It looks like this is yet another testimony of His power and greatness that I'll be able to share with others in need and one day with my children. I'm blown away at how God has provided for my family and me.
To celebrate our happy news, John took me out tonight and bought me the dining room table I've been wanting. It's made by Ashley furniture, which is a reputable brand and it's absolutely gorgeous!! Ironically enough, I have the same dishes that are displayed in this picture. It's good to know that they'll look so perfect with the table.
John bought me the 8 chairs, instead of the 6, so I can host big parties and I have our families over. I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love to think about all my kiddies around the table telling me about their days at school. It's so fun to dream of the wonderful days ahead.
Okay, I'm off to relax after this long, eventful day!
I am just overflowing with praises to God right now. He has once again showed us that He is bigger and better than any problems we may be facing. What seems like insurmountable obstacle to us is nothing in the hands of an almighty God. It looks like this is yet another testimony of His power and greatness that I'll be able to share with others in need and one day with my children. I'm blown away at how God has provided for my family and me.
To celebrate our happy news, John took me out tonight and bought me the dining room table I've been wanting. It's made by Ashley furniture, which is a reputable brand and it's absolutely gorgeous!! Ironically enough, I have the same dishes that are displayed in this picture. It's good to know that they'll look so perfect with the table.
John bought me the 8 chairs, instead of the 6, so I can host big parties and I have our families over. I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love to think about all my kiddies around the table telling me about their days at school. It's so fun to dream of the wonderful days ahead.
Okay, I'm off to relax after this long, eventful day!
Reliving The Same Bad Dream
Well, it looks like we might be homeless... AGAIN. I can't even believe this. I seriously am at a loss for words. Remember how the inspection showed that there were lots of issues with the house? Well, the way the seller wanted to handle them was by giving us a measly $2000 discount off the price of the house. You have to be kidding me!!! The place needs a FURNACE.. And that is not cheap. If that was the only thing that is wrong with it, I could definitely see going through with the deal, but there are many other things that are going to add up to big bucks. I refuse to be house poor because this stupid house needs work. Sorry, that's just not what we bargained for.
John and I told the realtor that we wanted at least $3000 (which is still a low, low offer) and we didn't want a discount on the house, we wanted cash. The guy not only said that he refused to give us more than the 2 grand, he also said that he didn't want to give us cash. Can you say RIDICULOUS?????????? Oddly enough though, 10 minutes after we told our realtor that we were done with this crap, he called back and said that the seller was "considering" working on the house and selling it to us for the original price we agreed on. While that would be great and all, I highly doubt it so I'm not going to get my hopes up until we know for certain that he will do all of that work. I don't see what his problem is because he's going to run into problems with this house again if and when he tries to sell it to someone else. What a moron.
So, John and I have been scanning the online listings for yet another new home and nothing is catching our eye as of yet. I guess an apartment will be in the cards for us after all? I don't know. I'm just so sick of living out of boxes and not having a home. This has to come to an end sometime. The other day I went to make corn muffins and my muffin pans were in boxes so I had to go through the trouble of digging through boxes to find them. Something about that just aids to my extreme frustration:-(
The scripture that God has really placed on my heart throughout all of this is Proverbs 3:5-6:
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Whenever I feel scared about our uncertain situation or the mountains that we have ahead of us, I have to keep reminding myself that God knows what He's doing and none of this has taken Him by surprise. Pretty incredible, huh?
I also feel like by this whole deal falling apart at the seams, then my not-too-distant plans of having another baby are pushed farther and farther away too. That really hurts me. I know that I'm blessed and that I have a beautiful baby already, but I was so excited at the prospect of having another baby once we got settled into this house. Ya know? I feel so ready emotionally but I can't bring another life into the world if our current family doesn't even have a place to live. That just sounds irresponsible, if you ask me. I know that in God's perfect timing baby #2 will make his or her entrance and it will be worth the wait.
So, that's that. Pretty unbelievable, huh? Right back to where we started from...
John and I told the realtor that we wanted at least $3000 (which is still a low, low offer) and we didn't want a discount on the house, we wanted cash. The guy not only said that he refused to give us more than the 2 grand, he also said that he didn't want to give us cash. Can you say RIDICULOUS?????????? Oddly enough though, 10 minutes after we told our realtor that we were done with this crap, he called back and said that the seller was "considering" working on the house and selling it to us for the original price we agreed on. While that would be great and all, I highly doubt it so I'm not going to get my hopes up until we know for certain that he will do all of that work. I don't see what his problem is because he's going to run into problems with this house again if and when he tries to sell it to someone else. What a moron.
So, John and I have been scanning the online listings for yet another new home and nothing is catching our eye as of yet. I guess an apartment will be in the cards for us after all? I don't know. I'm just so sick of living out of boxes and not having a home. This has to come to an end sometime. The other day I went to make corn muffins and my muffin pans were in boxes so I had to go through the trouble of digging through boxes to find them. Something about that just aids to my extreme frustration:-(
The scripture that God has really placed on my heart throughout all of this is Proverbs 3:5-6:
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Whenever I feel scared about our uncertain situation or the mountains that we have ahead of us, I have to keep reminding myself that God knows what He's doing and none of this has taken Him by surprise. Pretty incredible, huh?
I also feel like by this whole deal falling apart at the seams, then my not-too-distant plans of having another baby are pushed farther and farther away too. That really hurts me. I know that I'm blessed and that I have a beautiful baby already, but I was so excited at the prospect of having another baby once we got settled into this house. Ya know? I feel so ready emotionally but I can't bring another life into the world if our current family doesn't even have a place to live. That just sounds irresponsible, if you ask me. I know that in God's perfect timing baby #2 will make his or her entrance and it will be worth the wait.
So, that's that. Pretty unbelievable, huh? Right back to where we started from...
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Back To Where We Started From
I'm feeling a little bit uneasy about all of the issues that we have going on with the house. We got our official inspection report today and as we began to scan through the 29 pages of it, I started to realize how much has to happen for us to buy this house. So, I called my realtor and told him our anxieties and everything and he kind of gave me an attitude. He's a good realtor when it comes to getting the job done, but he can be very sarcastic in nature and he really isn't that nice or personable. We would have dropped him a long time ago but like I said, he always gets us into houses quickly and returns our phone calls promptly.
Anyways, John and I ended up making him a list of things that we want done in order for us to agree to buy the place. We won't know more until Monday because we have to get lawyers involved and everything else. I truly feel like we're back in limbo again. We don't want to count on moving into this house in case the guy won't do what it takes to sell it to us. I'm fine with that, I really am. God has proven to us that He truly knows best... BUT, I still hate all of this incertainty. I don't know whether or not my family and I have a place to live. That's a bit unsettling. Don't you think? Ugh.
Something that most people don't know is that before we put an offer in on this house we were thinking and praying about moving. I don't mean 20 miles away or to another neighborhood... I mean to like Virginia or somewhere else that is moderately close to our families. In Virginia, for instance, they are killing for cops so John could easily find work. So, after we sold our house and that last house deal fell through, we realized that we no longer had anything that really tied us down to here. I never wanted to move because I want Brookie to grow up with her family near by, but I told John that I would pray about it. We sat down and prayed and told God that we would go anywhere in the universe He wanted us to go and that we just wanted to be in the center of His will. Well, the very next day we saw this house that we're currently trying to buy. We prayed about it and gave it 24 hours to make sure we weren't just thinking on our terms, but that we were aligned with what God wanted. Both of us felt total peace as we agreed to sign the papers for the house. Now that things aren't looking so great I find myself wondering if God really does want us somewhere else or if He's still just trying to show us to lean on Him totally and completely. I'm just so confused right now! Why do things have to be so complicated???????????????
So, once again, if you read my blog, please pray for John and me as we are faced with some pretty tough decisions. I have no doubt that things will work out in the end, but right now, I'm starting to get a bit discouraged!
Anyways, John and I ended up making him a list of things that we want done in order for us to agree to buy the place. We won't know more until Monday because we have to get lawyers involved and everything else. I truly feel like we're back in limbo again. We don't want to count on moving into this house in case the guy won't do what it takes to sell it to us. I'm fine with that, I really am. God has proven to us that He truly knows best... BUT, I still hate all of this incertainty. I don't know whether or not my family and I have a place to live. That's a bit unsettling. Don't you think? Ugh.
Something that most people don't know is that before we put an offer in on this house we were thinking and praying about moving. I don't mean 20 miles away or to another neighborhood... I mean to like Virginia or somewhere else that is moderately close to our families. In Virginia, for instance, they are killing for cops so John could easily find work. So, after we sold our house and that last house deal fell through, we realized that we no longer had anything that really tied us down to here. I never wanted to move because I want Brookie to grow up with her family near by, but I told John that I would pray about it. We sat down and prayed and told God that we would go anywhere in the universe He wanted us to go and that we just wanted to be in the center of His will. Well, the very next day we saw this house that we're currently trying to buy. We prayed about it and gave it 24 hours to make sure we weren't just thinking on our terms, but that we were aligned with what God wanted. Both of us felt total peace as we agreed to sign the papers for the house. Now that things aren't looking so great I find myself wondering if God really does want us somewhere else or if He's still just trying to show us to lean on Him totally and completely. I'm just so confused right now! Why do things have to be so complicated???????????????
So, once again, if you read my blog, please pray for John and me as we are faced with some pretty tough decisions. I have no doubt that things will work out in the end, but right now, I'm starting to get a bit discouraged!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Our Day Alone
Brooke is just about to out grow her size 4 shoes so John and I decided to take a trip to the outlet malls. They carry Nike's for a fraction of the cost, making it well worth the hassle of driving up there! The outlets are only an hour from John's parent's house and Patty graciously offered to watch Brooke for a few hours so John and I could spend the day alone. We took her up on her offer and we ended up having a really great day!
It was a really dreary, wet day so it's a good thing that Brooke wasn't with us. The outlet malls are outside and only covered by awnings. We both got pretty wet! It would have been horrible taking Brooke's coat on and off a million times and keeping her dry would have been nearly impossible.
I kept turning around looking for Brooke throughout the day. Isn't that weird? I don't remember the last time that I went shopping without her so it's just not normal to not have her right by my side. It's amazing how quickly we could whiz through the stores without our crazy little girl to keep happy.
We ended up buying Brooke 2 new pairs of shoes. We got her new pink Nike sneakers for only $15!! Unbelievable! She also got new brown dress shoes that were on sale for $20. Osk Kosh was having an ENORMOUS blowout sale. Everything in their clearance store was $1.99 and the accessories like tights, bows, shoes, belts, and socks were $.49! After scanning the racks for a long while we realized that they didn't have a whole lot in her size so we only ended up getting a sweatsuit (just for her hang out in), an adorable little sweatshirt, some tights, and then a shirt for Nathan. I seriously wanted to buy out the whole store by much of the cute stuff was already taken. Oh well! My kid doesn't lack for anything!
It was so nice to have the quiet car ride with John and then the afternoon of shopping. We always enjoy our time together so much, even when Brooke's there, but occasionally it's nice to venture out on our own. I do feel guilty leaving Brooke but it's not like I do it every day and it's not like I'm leaving her with strangers. I only leave her with her grandparents or aunts and uncles... And trust me, all of those people are MORE than qualified!
Well, John's off tonight so that means that it's time for a movie. I'm so excited to get to relax with him some more:-) He's my buddy!
It was a really dreary, wet day so it's a good thing that Brooke wasn't with us. The outlet malls are outside and only covered by awnings. We both got pretty wet! It would have been horrible taking Brooke's coat on and off a million times and keeping her dry would have been nearly impossible.
I kept turning around looking for Brooke throughout the day. Isn't that weird? I don't remember the last time that I went shopping without her so it's just not normal to not have her right by my side. It's amazing how quickly we could whiz through the stores without our crazy little girl to keep happy.
We ended up buying Brooke 2 new pairs of shoes. We got her new pink Nike sneakers for only $15!! Unbelievable! She also got new brown dress shoes that were on sale for $20. Osk Kosh was having an ENORMOUS blowout sale. Everything in their clearance store was $1.99 and the accessories like tights, bows, shoes, belts, and socks were $.49! After scanning the racks for a long while we realized that they didn't have a whole lot in her size so we only ended up getting a sweatsuit (just for her hang out in), an adorable little sweatshirt, some tights, and then a shirt for Nathan. I seriously wanted to buy out the whole store by much of the cute stuff was already taken. Oh well! My kid doesn't lack for anything!
It was so nice to have the quiet car ride with John and then the afternoon of shopping. We always enjoy our time together so much, even when Brooke's there, but occasionally it's nice to venture out on our own. I do feel guilty leaving Brooke but it's not like I do it every day and it's not like I'm leaving her with strangers. I only leave her with her grandparents or aunts and uncles... And trust me, all of those people are MORE than qualified!
Well, John's off tonight so that means that it's time for a movie. I'm so excited to get to relax with him some more:-) He's my buddy!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
It Must Be Me??
Okay, I'm starting to think that trouble just follows me. Really! I'm not saying this angrily or wanting pity, but it's so true. Things in life have never just come to me easily (like they have for my older siblings). That's another story for another day though. Anyways, we went to have our professional home inspection of our house tonight and surprise, surprise, there was a multitude of things wrong with the house. Some of the issues are major while some are minor, but regardless of their severity, they are still issues that we have to think about.
Let me make you a list of the house's problems:
1. The furnace is about to collapse on itself but because it's still working the seller isn't obligated to replace it.
2. ALL of the electrical plugs were wired wrong, therefore making them a huge shock hazard. That sounds safe, huh?
3. All of the flower beds that completely surround the house are contained by wood planks. Pretty.. yes, BUT the guy says were asking for termites. So, all of those need to be replaced.
4. The deck is not properly screwed together.
5. There is still no heat upstairs and there is also no heat source in the main bathroom. It's okay, Brooke doesn't need to be warm during her bath or anything. *Note the sarcasm!
6. The electrical source to the pool is not wired properly, which makes our pool a large risk for ELECTROCUTION. Can you believe that? I'm not exactly sure what the problem is because he was explaining it to John, but the inspector said that it's HIGHLY dangerous.
7. Because there are no gutters on the house (which we really didn't realize) all of the water is going directly into the basement each time there is precipitation. This is causing all manner of moisture problems in the down there. I'm thinking it's time to install gutters?????
8. The sump pump in the basement (that is supposed to get rid of excess water) is too full of silt and mud to do its job properly.
9. Some of the floor boards in the basement aren't properly nailed down... Or something along those lines.
So yes, that's where we're at right about now. I'm really not even upset at the moment. I know that in God's way that we'll work through this and the end result will be what's best. I have to take faith in that! I called our realtor to discuss all of this but he hasn't returned my phone call. We're not totally writing this house off because if we can get the amount of money we want from the seller to fix the problems we'll most likely still buy the place. Who knows!
My parents came along to see the house tonight. They fell in love with it as much as we did, but none of us can get past the amount of hidden problems there are! We all agree that if the kinks can be worked out then we'll have a beautiful home. We should have some answers tomorrow.
I repeat... Isn't is ALWAYS something with me?
On one more quick note, I just want to say how very much I love my husband! Last night I was looking through some stuff and I came across our wedding box, which had our wedding napkins, wedding program, and all of our wedding cards in it. I found the cards we wrote to one another on our wedding day and I began to remember how amazing it felt to be a bride, HIS bride. On our wedding day I couldn't imagine loving him any more than I did right at that moment because I was so CRAZY in love with him, but I can honestly say that I've grown to love him more with each passing day. Each new step of our life together reveals something new about him that I just can't get enough of. Anyways, I was feeling kind of sappy about John and then I heard the song, It's Your Love, and it totally said everything that was on my mind. The words are beautiful and so true. Here are just some of the words of the song. Enjoy!
Oh it's a beautiful thing don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know what it is that won't let me go
It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Oh it's your love
Better than I was, more than I am
And all of this happened by taking your hand
And who I am now is who I wanted to be
And now that we're together,
I'm stronger than ever
I'm happy and free
Oh it's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in
If you asked me why I've changed,
All I gotta do is say your sweet name
Okay, now that you know all of my house issues and that I love John, I'm off to go enjoy him on his night off!
Let me make you a list of the house's problems:
1. The furnace is about to collapse on itself but because it's still working the seller isn't obligated to replace it.
2. ALL of the electrical plugs were wired wrong, therefore making them a huge shock hazard. That sounds safe, huh?
3. All of the flower beds that completely surround the house are contained by wood planks. Pretty.. yes, BUT the guy says were asking for termites. So, all of those need to be replaced.
4. The deck is not properly screwed together.
5. There is still no heat upstairs and there is also no heat source in the main bathroom. It's okay, Brooke doesn't need to be warm during her bath or anything. *Note the sarcasm!
6. The electrical source to the pool is not wired properly, which makes our pool a large risk for ELECTROCUTION. Can you believe that? I'm not exactly sure what the problem is because he was explaining it to John, but the inspector said that it's HIGHLY dangerous.
7. Because there are no gutters on the house (which we really didn't realize) all of the water is going directly into the basement each time there is precipitation. This is causing all manner of moisture problems in the down there. I'm thinking it's time to install gutters?????
8. The sump pump in the basement (that is supposed to get rid of excess water) is too full of silt and mud to do its job properly.
9. Some of the floor boards in the basement aren't properly nailed down... Or something along those lines.
So yes, that's where we're at right about now. I'm really not even upset at the moment. I know that in God's way that we'll work through this and the end result will be what's best. I have to take faith in that! I called our realtor to discuss all of this but he hasn't returned my phone call. We're not totally writing this house off because if we can get the amount of money we want from the seller to fix the problems we'll most likely still buy the place. Who knows!
My parents came along to see the house tonight. They fell in love with it as much as we did, but none of us can get past the amount of hidden problems there are! We all agree that if the kinks can be worked out then we'll have a beautiful home. We should have some answers tomorrow.
I repeat... Isn't is ALWAYS something with me?
On one more quick note, I just want to say how very much I love my husband! Last night I was looking through some stuff and I came across our wedding box, which had our wedding napkins, wedding program, and all of our wedding cards in it. I found the cards we wrote to one another on our wedding day and I began to remember how amazing it felt to be a bride, HIS bride. On our wedding day I couldn't imagine loving him any more than I did right at that moment because I was so CRAZY in love with him, but I can honestly say that I've grown to love him more with each passing day. Each new step of our life together reveals something new about him that I just can't get enough of. Anyways, I was feeling kind of sappy about John and then I heard the song, It's Your Love, and it totally said everything that was on my mind. The words are beautiful and so true. Here are just some of the words of the song. Enjoy!
Oh it's a beautiful thing don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know what it is that won't let me go
It's your love
It just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Oh it's your love
Better than I was, more than I am
And all of this happened by taking your hand
And who I am now is who I wanted to be
And now that we're together,
I'm stronger than ever
I'm happy and free
Oh it's a beautiful thing,
Don't think I can keep it all in
If you asked me why I've changed,
All I gotta do is say your sweet name
Okay, now that you know all of my house issues and that I love John, I'm off to go enjoy him on his night off!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
An Update On The House
I'm so excited because I can finally post a GOOD update in regards to a house that we're trying to buy. What do you know?!!?!?!? I got a phone call from my realtor this morning to tell me that our house comes with an all inclusive one year warranty. The guy who's selling it to us just randomly threw it in there for some reason!! It covers every little thing in the whole entire house for an entire year. Isn't that incredible??? I feel so reassured buying this house now because it shows me that he stands behind the work he's done in the house. God has been so good to us and He continues to bless us!
One issue in the house that is being worked out right now is in regards to the heating. Like I said, we went there a couple of days ago for my father-in-law to look at the place and we discovered that the heat to upstairs was not working at all. First the man was going to fix it. I guess he just has to run some pipes from the downstairs to the upstairs. However, today he called and asked if he could just give us money at closing to install electric heat upstairs. I really don't understand what all of this means but I'm thinking no. Obviously John and I have to discuss it, but I think I would prefer to have the heat hooked up. I think it's because the house used to be a 2-family home and the upstairs was heated by a separate furnace but now there's only one furnace. I'm wondering if this guy thinks that that crappy furnace can't withstand the effort of heating the whole house and he'll have to replace to that too. I just don't know but something has to be done! I'm not too concerned because the seller has been EXTREMELY accommodating and he has been bending over backwards to help us out.
We got for our official home inspection tomorrow night at 5. I'm SO excited because my parents are coming to see our house. I really look forward to that! Hopefully the man's report on the house will help us know more about the condition of the furnace.
It looks like we should be moving around the 25TH of April! As we all know from my experience, nothing is set in stone... But I'm sure hoping that it will work out that way because I'm so antsy and ready to start living life in my new, beautiful home. It's gonna be kind of bare for awhile because we are gaining SO much square footage. Until we acquire some new stuff it might appear to be pretty empty!
My dad came back from Peru yesterday. I guess he had a wonderful time and he appears to be on fire for ministering to the Peruvian people. I really admire his heart for lost people. Anyways, he brought Brookie back a little stuffed Alpaca that was made with real Alpaca fur. He was so excited and it was really sweet to watch how proud he was to give it to her.
Okay, we have church tonight so I better go get our house in ship shape before we leave. Ta ta!
One issue in the house that is being worked out right now is in regards to the heating. Like I said, we went there a couple of days ago for my father-in-law to look at the place and we discovered that the heat to upstairs was not working at all. First the man was going to fix it. I guess he just has to run some pipes from the downstairs to the upstairs. However, today he called and asked if he could just give us money at closing to install electric heat upstairs. I really don't understand what all of this means but I'm thinking no. Obviously John and I have to discuss it, but I think I would prefer to have the heat hooked up. I think it's because the house used to be a 2-family home and the upstairs was heated by a separate furnace but now there's only one furnace. I'm wondering if this guy thinks that that crappy furnace can't withstand the effort of heating the whole house and he'll have to replace to that too. I just don't know but something has to be done! I'm not too concerned because the seller has been EXTREMELY accommodating and he has been bending over backwards to help us out.
We got for our official home inspection tomorrow night at 5. I'm SO excited because my parents are coming to see our house. I really look forward to that! Hopefully the man's report on the house will help us know more about the condition of the furnace.
It looks like we should be moving around the 25TH of April! As we all know from my experience, nothing is set in stone... But I'm sure hoping that it will work out that way because I'm so antsy and ready to start living life in my new, beautiful home. It's gonna be kind of bare for awhile because we are gaining SO much square footage. Until we acquire some new stuff it might appear to be pretty empty!
My dad came back from Peru yesterday. I guess he had a wonderful time and he appears to be on fire for ministering to the Peruvian people. I really admire his heart for lost people. Anyways, he brought Brookie back a little stuffed Alpaca that was made with real Alpaca fur. He was so excited and it was really sweet to watch how proud he was to give it to her.
Okay, we have church tonight so I better go get our house in ship shape before we leave. Ta ta!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
THERE'S A MOUSE IN MY HOUSE!
This morning I was just hanging around the house and doing some dishes. I looked over and I saw a little grey mouse scurrying across my kitchen floor. He went underneath my refrigerator, never to be seen again (so far). Of course I was totally freaked out and totally beside myself. I jumped up on the kitchen table and to be honest, I was afraid to come down. I'm just super annoyed because we have all kinds of boxes and things packed up in our kitchen in preparation to move. I'm hoping that that horrible little mouse doesn't tamper with our boxes and leave his messes in them. We've had problems with mice before in this house so you would think I would be use to them, but still they freak me out so bad. I'm a wimp for all things gross. I must admit.
I was so sad yesterday because no sooner did I post my entry on opening day to discover that the Yankees' home opener was RAINED OUT:-( To a huge fan, that's almost enough to make me cry. I was highly disappointed but there was nothing I could do so I watched the Tyra Bank's show instead. While she's interesting, she doesn't cut it quite the same as the Yankees. Sorry, Tyra!
Brooke has been so incredibly happy and silly today. She's been throwing temper tantrums lately but today she is the most content, compliant, and easy-going baby ever. I love days like this where all she wants to do is play and laugh. While I love being her mommy so much that I don't even mind the bad days, the good days sure do refresh me. I just keep looking at her today and questioning how my life could be any better. I feel like being a mom is my true calling in life and her presence is a constant reminder of how I'm living what I set out to do. God is seriously SO good:-)
Anyways, it's a beautiful day today so John and I are off to take Brookie to the park. I'm so excited!! It's been a while since we've been able to take her so it should be a blast to see how she likes everything.
I was so sad yesterday because no sooner did I post my entry on opening day to discover that the Yankees' home opener was RAINED OUT:-( To a huge fan, that's almost enough to make me cry. I was highly disappointed but there was nothing I could do so I watched the Tyra Bank's show instead. While she's interesting, she doesn't cut it quite the same as the Yankees. Sorry, Tyra!
Brooke has been so incredibly happy and silly today. She's been throwing temper tantrums lately but today she is the most content, compliant, and easy-going baby ever. I love days like this where all she wants to do is play and laugh. While I love being her mommy so much that I don't even mind the bad days, the good days sure do refresh me. I just keep looking at her today and questioning how my life could be any better. I feel like being a mom is my true calling in life and her presence is a constant reminder of how I'm living what I set out to do. God is seriously SO good:-)
Anyways, it's a beautiful day today so John and I are off to take Brookie to the park. I'm so excited!! It's been a while since we've been able to take her so it should be a blast to see how she likes everything.
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